I have watched a lot of Nick Jr. in my adulthood. Maybe too much. Case in point – I’ve been watching Blue’s Clues for 15 years (but just the Steve version, no one really ever cared for Joe, not even Maura.)
While I love Steve and Blue and their crazy cast of characters, there were other Nick Jr. shows that made me want to take an ice pick to my ear. Like Dora. Dora the Explorer, with her “Say it LOUDER” and the stupid repetitive songs that someone actually got paid to write (think about it – someone got paid to write “I’m the Map, I’m the Map, I’m the Map, I’m the Map, I’m the MAP!” – nauseating, isn’t it?) But I put up with it because it did guarantee me 22 minutes of peace, and then Maura actually did start answering Dora’s questions, so I was stuck.
For years, I’d watch her and her monkey traipse about jungles, managing to avoid the anacondas that might eat a small girl and her monkey, or quicksand that would muffle her very loud voice as it swallowed her whole. At one point, I decided that even Dora’s own mother couldn’t stand her – why else would she allow her young daughter to go into the jungle full of danger?
But one day, while discussing Dora with a group of other special needs parents, the truth became clear to all of us. Dora was a special needs child! All the clues were there, if you only knew where to look.
Her giant head? Caused by hydrocephalus.
The reason she talks loudly? Why, she has a hearing problem of course, maybe even a speech problem where she can’t control the volume of her voice.
The fact that she can’t remember what Map just told her three time? Classic ADHD.
Boots the Monkey? Is her service animal, to help guide her.
The bracelet she wears? Why, it’s a medical alert bracelet of course!
So next time you’re watching Dora, don’t be too harsh on her. She’s a special girl who can’t help being the way she is
Dedicated to my sweet friend Claudia, who upon hearing my theory, insisted I share it with the world!