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It’s been one of those weeks

9 Feb

Okay, so for us, it was still in the realm of “normal”.

First, Maura cut her thumb on her sister’s razor.  Because she was trying to use the razor case as a flip phone.  Of course.  The good news was, it didn’t need stitches.  And after a couple of failed attempts of bandaging it, Maura finally left the bandage on long enough to let the wound clot up (not before she bled all over the bathroom rug.)  Of course, this was the night I had places to be, so I spent some time after it all apologizing for being late here and there because I had to re-bandage the bleeding thumb and telling her brother what to do if the bandage came off again.

Of course, in the midst of this, I had this brilliant idea of a home healthcare service, where a trained medical professional comes to your house to stitch up minor wounds of the children, so you don’t have to drag them to the flu-ridden ER for a couple of stitches.  This could also have an extra service of determining whether or not your child who’s knocked their little noggin against something has a concussion or not.  I need this to happen please.

Then Friday morning, at five a.m. I woke up out of a dead sleep to the sound of vomiting.  I knew it was Maura, and got up to find her sitting on the carpeted floor, looking miserable as she vomited again.  All over the carpet.  Because this house is chock full of cream carpeting.  Luckily, I just bought a Bissell SpotPro Cleaner so I cleaned the carpet as Josh cleaned the girl up.  He took first shift, God bless the man, because she threw up again.

Yeah, I’m not good with vomit.  Not at all.  So Josh is the go-to guy when this happens, and I love him all the more for it.

Needless to say, Friday was canceled as we wandered about like zombies watching Disney movies with Maura.  I had plans with friends, but had to cancel those.

*sigh*

And then as quickly as it hit, Maura was better.  By Sunday, she was back to destroying one room as I cleaned the other, and playing with her dolls while fighting with her sister over the Xbox.  But then, as I sat for a moment, I heard the distinct sounds of the lid of a bathroom container clinking back on.  There’s only two things that are in such containers in the bathroom, and one of them is Q-tips.

Sure enough, I caught Maura with a handful of Q-tips.  Which lead to the question “Did you put something in your ear?”

Oh yeah, both ears.

Argh.

I couldn’t get the white stuff, which turned out to be styrofoam pieces (which where she got those from, I have no idea), out with regular eyebrow tweezers.  But our long narrow medical tweezers (a gift from a doctor after he stitched up one of the boys, lol) were MIA.

First, I called Josh.  “Do you know where the long narrow tweezers are?”

“No…do I need to pick some up on my way home?”

“Maybe.”

Then I called a friend, who brought over two different kinds, and some knitting because hey, while here…

Meanwhile, Josh came home and asked “So, ears or nose?”  Because we’ve played this game before.  I had gotten most of the styrofoam out of one ear, he got it all out of the other, then we had to wait for Maura to chill to get the little tiny chunk of styrofoam still stuck to some ear wax out.  Go figure, the thing that got it out was a Q-tip.  Let me tell you, that moment was nerve-wracking because I was either going to nudge it out, or nudge it further in. I won that round.

Needless to say, we happily sent Maura off to school this morning.  Just so we can take a few moments to relax before it all starts up again.

 

Ten steps to cleaning Maura’s room

24 Jan

Today I vowed to put back together Maura’s room, into some semblance of organization.  Once a month, we go in there and organize all the things back to their spots.  And every time, by the end of it, I need therapy.

There’s ten basic steps to cleaning Maura’s room.  They go like this –

Step One – Stare into the room and feel all hope leave your body.  Contemplate walking away and dealing with it on another day.

Step Two – Find your resolve, and start chucking things into piles – clothes, dolls, books, shoes, random items that don’t belong in there, piles of paper…

Step Three – Realizing yet again that your child is a combination of a squirrel, a pack rat, and a magpie.  Wonder over the amount of torn paper in the room.

Step Four – Maura enters, ooo’s over the newly discovered floor space and immediately starts removing items from piles. You then shoo her out.

Step Five – Contemplate gasoline and a match, or at least maybe getting rid of a few things without her noticing.

Step Six – Maura enters again, just after you’ve finally put all the books back in order, and proceeds to take all the books off the shelf.  Shoo her from the room again, more loudly.

Step Seven – Realize that True Organization can never happen while the girl is underfoot.  Contemplate drinking.  Start shoving things into bins to be sorted out later.

Step Eight – Maura enters the room yet again, now plucking treasure out of the trash pile.  Cry a little.

Step Nine – Realize that you can’t truly clean the joint until the girl is back in school, where you can get rid of all the things while she’s not looking.

Step Ten – Abandon all hope, take dirty clothes to laundry room, hide in there with a glass of wine while listening to the joyful sounds of Maura tearing apart her now clean-ish room.

Her room never looks like this.  That's why I took a picture, to remember it by.

Her room never looks like this. That’s why I took a picture, to remember it by.

Following the leader

22 Jan

Maura has this weird habit in the mornings.  We get her up, we get her ready, etc…and then she follows me about the house.

I don’t know if she learned it from the dogs, or the dogs learned it from her, but on any given morning, I could be rushing about and have one child and two dogs hot on my heels.  We live in a split level house, and so it’s five stairs up to bedrooms, five stairs down to family room, main level in the middle.  Which means it gives Maura multiple levels to, say, hide her shoes.  I’ll go try to hunt them down, only to turn around and find a traffic jam of girl and dogs on the stairs.

It’s one of those little things that drives me batty.  Absolutely batty.  Every time, I’ll say “Wait here.” and every time she’ll follow me.  The dogs I can kennel or put outside at least.  But Maura will always follow.

Part of the problem I have with it all is that I’m trying to rush and hurry and get the thing we need quickly.  Maura doesn’t do quickly.  I will be down the stairs, grabbing the thing, and halfway back when I run into her as she tries to keep up.  So then I must herd her back to the main level.  If we’re cutting it close to the bus’s arrival, it’s especially frustrating, because I was trying to do that one quick last minute thing and now, time has to stop so Maura can follow me back.

Granted, when she decides to go get something, she can disappear instantly.  It’s one of her tricks.

This morning, I realized I reached a new parenting low.  Because after having to climb around both Maura and the little dog, and losing Maura because she was trying to find her new book to bring to school, and figuring out that it was the book she wanted to find, I told her “Wait here, I’ll go find it.”

I started down stairs, and she started to follow.

“No…stay here….stay here….stay….good girl.”

And I realized what came out of my mouth.

*facepalm*

Bad mom…bad!

 

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