Well there’s your problem!

As you may know, we recently acquired a cute little puppy named Zoey.

Zoey is a great little girl dog, has proven she’s extremely smart (by trying to hide stuff behind her back no less) and very loyal (one night, I was upset about something, and she came over to nuzzle me…awww…)

But we’ve had one problem with our fuzzy girl – and it happens every morning about 5:30 – 6 am.

bark.

Bark.

BarK.

BARK.

whine.

bark.

Bark. BARK! Bark. BARK! Bark. Whine whine whine BARK! BARK! BARK!

Cursing. Stomping downstairs. Letting puppy out to go potty. Cursing some more.

We’ve tried to find ways to alleviate these early morning wake up and take the dog out for a potty break episodes. Food and water dishes don’t get refilled after 6 pm. Josh has tried playing with her and keeping her away until at least 11 pm. We’ve taken her for long walks after 9 pm.

And still…

Bark BARK bark Bark BARK

We were getting seriously cranky around here. Because when you’re staying up late to try to make a certain puppy tired, only for puppy to wake up at the crack of stupid every morning…well…you end up with two cranky adults cussing out a certain otherwise lovable puppy. The thing was – we knew she could hold it for more than five hours. A couple of weeks ago, Josh was out of town and I ended up falling asleep on the couch watching a movie. That dog stayed happily in her kennel from 10 pm to 7:30 am without a single bark or whine.

So why? Why could she not do this every other day?

And then…yesterday morning… I wake up at the usual 7 am time (after listening to bark BARK bark BARK, elbowing Josh, who got up muttering very bad words about the puppy and going downstairs to deal with her, allowing me to go back to sleep for another 45 minutes) and I hear Josh talking to Collin.

The father/son heart-to-heart went something like this -

“Oh for God’s sake! If you’re up at 6 am, let the damn dog out so she doesn’t sit in her kennel barking! Sean! Get in here! You need to hear this too!”

Yes, it turns out that the problem was NOT the puppy, but the boys – who are getting up earlier than their sleep-deprived parents, going downstairs at 6 am, fixing bowls of cereal and lunches, taunting the dog with the fact that there were humans with opposable thumbs who could open her cage and let her out but wouldn’t – instead, leaving her to cry yellow tears and cross her fuzzy little hind legs as they went along their merry ways back to their rooms to get dressed and ready for school. And after they abandoned her in her time of need, she’d start calling for help – because once awake, she felt the need to go.

This morning however, there was no barking. Some boy listened to their parents pleas of “Just let the poor dog out so she doesn’t bark us awake!” and let the puppy out of her kennel and outside to relieve herself.

Of course, I woke up at 7 am to Miriam talking to Sean and Maura at my bedroom door and thought “Odd, everyone is up.” (Usually, the girls need a cattle prod to get out of bed.)

Turns out we need another rule – if you let the dog out at 6 am, you either need to keep an eye on her, or put puppy love back in her kennel. Or else she will go up to the girls room and lick their faces until one or both of them gets up.

Oh well, I don’t care. I didn’t wake up to barking this morning! Here’s to more mornings being bark-free.

She's cute when she's not barking at 6 am

Jan 11 2012

What to do, what to say…

All this blog traffic has got me thinking, ”What shall I blog about?”

Do I blog about how for the first time in…um…yeah…I not only got my Christmas decorations up in a timely manner, but I also took them down in a timely manner? (Okay, today.) Which is a huge accomplishment in my world.

Do I reach down into my inner depths and come up with something thought-provoking? With Spongebob on the telly? Yeah, that’s not happening. One cannot think deep thoughts while Spongebob is crying over not being able to go to work.

Do I try to clear up misconceptions about what people are saying about how I view Maura all over the interwebs? Tempting…but again, Sponebob the Brain Cell Killer is on tv.

Do I talk about how to sit on the couch today, I had to move a laptop, three penguin dolls and a lunch box? Or how Halloween decorations are now on my table because I put them in the Christmas storage boxes “for the time being”, and now need to find a new box?

Maybe I should talk about this puppy, who is attached to our ankles at all times and wants one of us within sight at all times. Separation anxiety much Zoey? Or how good she was at Show and Tell today, shaking Mim’s hand when asked, and then stuck her paw out for another “shake”. Or how worried I was that she’d pee in the school, but thank goodness didn’t.

Or I could just post this picture of Miriam’s hand, which in her new-found love of astronomy, she decorated with a slew of stars…yeah, I think I’ll do that. Genius doesn’t happen every day you know!

note the fingernails, each painted with a different sparkly color.

Jan 9 2012

Music Monday and Such

It’s Monday. Who needs a song to get them moving today? Well, Train (one of my favorite bands) has a new song coming out tomorrow, and it’s out on their site now, so check it out!

Train – Drive By

If you check out other “Music Monday” selections, you’ll find a bit of Train in there. Josh called it once, when describing why our musical tastes are so different. Josh loves a good beat. The more bass the better in his world. But I like good lyrics. I do like a good tune, something to dance or jump around to, but I love good lyrics. I like a song with a soul. Train delivers that for me.

Meanwhile, in our world, the craziness of Christmas holidays are over. The kids have all gone back to school, Josh has gone back to work, and I’m here, alone, in my house. Just me, the puppy, and a huge mound of laundry to keep me company.

Zoey the Puppy has been keeping me busy all morning – she tries gnawing on things like the puppy she is, I stop her. She sneaks upstairs, I get her back downstairs. She wants out, I let her out, then back in, then out, then in again. It is a bit like having a toddler, except Zoey can’t scream “NOOOO!” at me and I can legally lock her in a cage.

The one thing I’m noticing about her is her eyes. Because she’s a blue merle collie, she has one blue eye and one brown eye. And I swear, those eyes tell different stories.

The brown eye is the happy-go-lucky good puppy eye. The blue eye though shows her disdain for the rules, her intelligence mocking us.

The brown eye says “Oh, look at me! I’m a cute little puppy! Pet me! Rub my tummy!”

Meanwhile, the blue eye is saying “That’s right, bend to my will slave. I will own you!”

Or maybe I need to just interact with more humans today.

Aug 10 2010

my ridiculous life

Every so often – like last night as I was scrubbing Maura’s shoes in the bathroom sink because they smelled like pee after she had a complete diaper failure and made a puddle on the rest stop floor as I went the change her…sigh – sometimes I stop and think “My life is ridiculous.”

Case in point – the day before, I was in the same bathroom shaving the little dog’s behind. You don’t want to know why, just know it’s very necessary.

One day, Maura was late to school. When I got there, I explained to the teacher that we would have been on time, but see, as I was trying to get the girls out the door, the dogs got out. I got the big dog back in, but had to chase down the little dog. I finally got the little dog back in, but in trying to get Maura outside, the little dog got back out. So once again, I was chasing down the little dog, only Maura decide to run around the yard as well, stepping in dog poop along the way. Maura only has one pair of shoes because of her orthotics, so I had to shoo dogs and girls back inside, then scrub the shoe in the bathroom sink, as I felt those at school would appreciate it if I cleaned the dog poop off Maura’s shoes first.

Then there was the time we had a mouse in our laundry room. Miriam discovered it, and was screaming over it. I was less than thrilled myself, and tried to figure out why this thing decided to come into the laundry room (which is attached to the garage.) Now, in the laundry room is a litter box that never gets used because the cat won’t come downstairs (he doesn’t want to play “Chase the Cat” with the big dog.) I ended up putting a second litter box upstairs, the downstairs went all but unused. I wanted to remove the downstairs litter box, but Josh was skeptical of that, so we left it. Back to the mouse…one day, a couple of weeks after Mim spotted the mouse, I walk into the laundry room to find the mouse leaping out of the litter box and scurry behind the washer (and hopefully out to the garage.) And it hit me – we use the wheat-based kitty litter. The mouse was eating the kitty litter.

Yes, the litter box was removed immediately. The cat hasn’t noticed, the mouse hasn’t been back.

There are little moments – like Miriam sleeping with a stuffed horse that’s bigger than her, the little dog trying to chase down the mail truck with me chasing him, the amount of popcorn Maura can consume, the fact I can’t get three blocks from the house without a son texting me to ask questions, or that I came home today from taking Maura to therapy to “sorry, I broke the living room light fixture with a Nerf sword”…and it was my husband apologizing! HA!

What’s even more ridiculous? I’ve come to find stuff like this pretty normal.

Jun 29 2010

Can you hear it?

If you listen quietly…in the background of my life…I’m certain circus music is playing. At all times.

Sometimes, it’s because Maura’s juggling eggs upstairs. Other times, it’s because Sean’s juggling a soccer ball in the middle of the living room. It plays as naked children run through the house, as a Lego creation falls down the stairs, breaking up as it hits the steps. It was there when we lost the hamster in the Suburban. It is always there during tornado warnings (of which this year, we’ve had four or five already!)

Oh yes, there’s nothing like a tornado warning at 10:30 at night, trying to herd kids downstairs, dogs freaking out, get everyone settled to hear “Can I go use the bathroom?” Only to then discover that some big nervous dog has already used the basement floor as a bathroom.

Circus music.

This morning, a jogger went by my house (dang joggers!) Seeing this thread to our national security, Little Dog starts yapping away. Not to be outdone, Big Dog has to start barking and throwing a general fit as well (before the little dog arrived, tanks could have gone by our house and big dog wouldn’t have cared.)

Annoyed with both dogs, I try to get over to where they’re at so I can shoo them away. Except suddenly, children start popping out of no where, darting around me to gather at the door – one, two, three. Only Maura had the good sense to ignore the goings-on. I shoo children, give dogs the evil eye, they slink away, and there it was, faint in the background…circus music.

May 17 2010

Dogs are gross

If you’re squeamish…just walk away. But it is invariably one of those things you encounter when you mix children and pets. Because let me tell you – NOT the first time something like this has happened!

So this morning, I’m sitting here catching up on email and all, and I smell this not so fresh smell. I smell poop. It makes me go “Huh?”, as usually when I smell that, it means Maura needs a diaper change. But Maura has been sent off to school. Why am I smelling poop?

I instantly glance around, wondering if maybe a dirty diaper was left behind. I see none, but the smell is getting stronger. I get up and start looking around some more. Not seeing any evidence. But I am noticing the Yorkie is in his favorite hiding spot behind a chair, very interested in something. I look. And then, I’m instantly horrified and relieved. He doesn’t have a whole diaper – thank you Jesus! But he does have diaper wipes, obviously used.

Ew.

I take them away, clean up the area, curse at the dog a little more, and then try to figure out just HOW the dog got these nasty wipes in the first place. Because I still don’t see a diaper.

And then I see our big dog. You know, the idiot dog who was getting into the garbage can yesterday while we were gone? Oh yes, now we have our accomplice.

I’m not thrilled with either pet. I am going to take great joy in bathing the small dog – who hates bathes – because quite frankly, he smells like a stinky baby wipe.

And so starts off my Monday morning! Yours is looking much better now I bet!