The husband and I dropped our kids off at their grandparents in Arkansas, then flew to Hawaii. I learned a few things like…
Make sure you have your driver’s license before leaving the house (sorry Josh, I’m outing you.)
Bad things always happen to us in Indiana (which is where we discovered Josh’s driver’s license was in Michigan on the way to Arkansas, and where Josh accidentally bumped our car door into some guy’s new $23,000 truck, leaving a small dent. We know the truck was $23,000 because the guy mentioned in several times, after running out and yelling “You hit my truck! I saw it! Call your insurance!” and then when Josh asked what would fix the problem, the guy said “$23,000!” Uh…we’ll call insurance, thanks.)
Delta is a horrible airline to fly if you want to leave on time. The hour and a half delay getting there was not horrible. The two-hour delay leaving, which caused us to miss our connecting flight, which caused us to have to wait around LAX for five hours! Fun!)
I will panic over the stupidest things. Okay, I already knew that one. Specifically, I panicked the first time I tried snorkeling. Oh sure, my mouth was attached to a tube that brought oxygen to me, not to mention my face was literally inches from the surface, and therefore oxygen. But that didn’t stop me from going into a full-blown hyperventilation state whenever my face hit the water the first few times. Because the irrational part of me was certain I would drown. Eventually I stomped down the irrational side and got the hang of snorkeling.
Speaking of snorkeling – don’t get all excited and goofy-faced when you do spot that sea turtle for the first time. Because you will end up with a facemask full of water.
Also learned that I need better snorkeling gear. The $30 set from Target will not cut it.
Not all Hawaiian destinations are equal. We went to the Big Island and landed on the Kona side of things. Which meant a lot of desert and lava. Not lush and tropical. Also, not beach after beach after beach…you sort of had to hunt those down.
You can’t see the lava flowing in daylight. You won’t see red. You have to look for it at night.
There are people who live on the active lava flow. Which was more interesting than the actual lava flow.
The waterfalls are just like in the pictures…you just can’t get close to them.
Black sand from black sand beaches gets everywhere. Every. Where.
The Big Island has wild goats. And donkeys. But mostly goats.
Your bathroom standards will lower in Hawaii. What you would consider passable will suddenly become wonderfully clean. You will also regret not using the stinky hot portajohns at the lava flow when faced with a horror that claims to be a toilet in a state park.
Meanwhile, back on the mainland, your children will continue to be your children and do things like break their wrists and cause mayhem.
SPF 50 sunblock works really well.