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Music Monday – Dog Days Are Over

22 Aug

I’ve always wanted to sing with the band.  Instead, I sing in the car.  Well, I used to sing in the car.  It was one of my favorite parts of living in the country – all those long drives into town when I could kick back, put in my favorite song and play it loudly as I sang along.  In my car, I was a rock star.

It’s not that I suck outside of my car.  Or in it.  My kids (brutally honest little beings that they are) have told  me I sound good.  Josh (a more biased judge, but also brutally honest) thinks I have a great voice.  What I lack is self-confidence.  I’m sure years of speech therapy, being forced to listen to my lousy pronunciations of every other consonant in the alphabet didn’t help that.  I spent my childhood shying away from microphones and when finally getting in front of a few, choking magnificently in front of crowds of people who were probably thinking “See?  I knew she’d screw it up.”  Or so the voices in my head told me.

I’ve been getting better at telling those voices to shove it.  I haven’t had a speech problem since I was 12.  I just didn’t realize how much baggage I carried from that until recently, when it hit me as to why I was unable to get up and sing karaoke even though I wanted to.  I’d watch people go up and think “Man, even I know I’m better than that.”  But I’d stay locked in my chair.  One day it suddenly came to me, why I wouldn’t get in front of a microphone.  And it all seemed so silly, holding back because of what happened to me 20+ years ago.  Ah, childhood scars.  They do run deep, but you can tattoo over them and turn them into something pretty, right?

And so I did.  Instead of thinking “Man, I can’t do that” and let those voices remind me of how much people thought I sounded horrible at age 10, I mentally tattooed over them with “Hey!  You overcame SO much!  Your speech is amazing now, no one would ever guess you were completely unintelligible as a child.  Now get your ass up there and do what you want to do!”  And so I did. So far, the minor times I’ve gotten in front of a microphone recently, people haven’t rolled their eyes or left the room.  I guess I refuse to give up my dream of singing with a band.

Now, if I had the abilities, this is a song I’d belt out.  The tune is a unapologetic, in your face, but not “Please stop screaming at me” style.  It’s all over the place musically, and I like that.  And there’s harps in it.  What’s not to love about that?  And as I tell my kids, if you practice enough, who knows?  Maybe I could belt it out in public someday.

So let’s all sing along with Florence and the Machine – Dog Days Are Over –

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