Dear Apple…again…

Apple, sweetie, I really want to like you.  I do. I’m even typing this out on a Macbook that I chose out of all the other laptops available for me to chose from at home.  I want to be a little fangirl, all happy with my Apple product, petting it, showing it off proudly at coffee shops while secretly mocking those with lesser machines, buying it pretty cases to cart it about in.

Instead, I just want to punch the crap out of it before chucking it all out a window.

The thing is, it’s not really the Macbook’s fault.  Or the iPod’s.  I do blame iTunes a bit, which spent 45 minutes updating and restarting my computer only to freaking freeze up on me.  Seriously.  Write better software for iTunes.

All I wanted to do was move the music from my iTunes account on my Vaio to the Macbook.  I had already set up the “please share my library” thing it told me to do.  Then I thought “Hmmm, what would happen if I plugged in the iPod to the Mac?”

Wow, that was a stupid move.

My iPod instantly went into lockdown. iTunes wouldn’t recognize it. After about fifteen minutes, I decided to be risky – I disconnected it when it clearly stated “Do Not Disconnect”.  And then found out why you don’t do that.  Because if you do, the whole dang iPod locks up and I have to search how to un-lock up it.

Meanwhile, on the Vaio, it said “Do you want to update iTunes?”  No, not really…but I will.  Forty-five minutes later, I’m restarting my computer finally to make it all work, open iTunes, try plugging the iPod into that computer….and iTunes freezes up like a deer in headlights.  I have to shut it down, blah blah boring tech blah…

As I close in on the two hour point of this mess, I can’t help but hear voices, mocking me…”Oh, I luuurve Apple products!  They’re soooo easy to use!  If you use Apple products, unicorns will show up at your door and sneeze glitter on your house and fold your laundry!”

such a lie.

I’m not technologically inept.  I’m actually pretty damn good at figuring stuff out.  Which is how I made it this far without actually taking a hammer to the iPod and making it smash to bits as I cackle with insane joy at the sheer destruction of the thing most irritating me and wasting my time.  I have figured it all out, and things are now working…only once again, the computers are holding my iPod hostage while it copies over my library of 2012 songs onto the Mac.


Like I said – I want to like you.  I do like my three year old iPod, which can take a beating, get dropped and not crack, and it’s 80 gig of memory.  It’s a nice little brick.  But really – either fix iTunes or stop telling people how damned easy it is to use, you filthy dirty liars.  I’ve wasted two hours of the first day that all my kids have been in school at the same time in the past 8 months on this.  This is NOT how I planned this morning to be.


the woman who has apparently been cursed by Steve Jobs and has to fold her own dang laundry as no Apple-branded unicorn has appeared to do it for her


p.s. – I know this post will bring out people who will want to tell me that somehow, I’m wrong to be frustrated with iTunes and the iPod and the Macbook and Steve Jobs’s curse upon me, who have had Apple-branded unicorns show up at their house to sneeze glitter, fart rainbows and fold their laundry while iTunes updates smoothly and their iPods never freeze up while they easily manipulate their shiny Macbooks and iPods and never had a problem.  Maybe I they are all right and I am doing it all wrong, or not right, or in the wrong order.  Tell you what…send me some shiny new Apple products – a new Macbook Pro and whatever is the latest generation of the iPod and a $500 iTunes gift cards and I’ll see how things work for me then, ‘kay?  In the meantime, I’m allowed to be frustrated at this 2+ hour process.  And the lack of backspace key and SD card reader on the Macbook.