Finally, after months and months of always having at least one child underfoot, or someplace I had to be, or something I had to go get, I suddenly, finally have all this time for myself in the day.
I don’t know what to do now.
Oh, I know what I could be doing – catching up on laundry, vacuuming, organizing upstairs more. Or I could get back to writing, to doing something creative with my life.
Instead, I’m sitting here.
Yesterday, I read a book.
The day before, I sat on the computer a while, then decided to return something to the store, convincing Josh we could meet for lunch along the way (okay, it didn’t take too much convincing.)
Meanwhile, I’m still trying to figure out what to do. It’s like I’m in shock from all the peace and quiet and I don’t know how to move forward.
It’s not like I had this problem in Michigan. I was constantly on the go. Maybe that was the problem – I was always going someplace. The boys were home schooled for the year and ha half before we moved here, so they were underfoot. Maura was home most of the time before that. Josh was home more as well. Here, he has an office to go to, and all four kids are in school at the same time, so I am really, truly, on my own for the first time in….um…at least 15 years.
And the weather here has been gorgeous. A sunny day should motivate me to get up and moving. Instead, I want to forget housework and enjoy the lovely weather while it’s here. Because it will be gone soon.
Also, a factor is that I don’t have a car, so going places is more of a time investment, and requires planning. So while I know I need to get some groceries, the idea of spending the next two hours getting them and hauling them home is daunting. My arms are literally aching at the thought of carrying groceries home. I could use the bus, but that requires more thought out planning, which there may not be time for now.
So I’m here. Trying to figure out what to do with myself. Motivated to do squat. This week has been a bust when it comes to productivity. Hopefully by next week, I’ll have a better game plan for life. I can’t float around like this forever.
Mind you – by 3:30 pm, when my kids are hoovering out cabinets of food and pestering me about sleepovers and video games and homework, I will be thinking “You know, the quiet house was kind of nice…”