Dear Ulster Bank

I’m hoping that by writing this vent, my bank card will magically appear through my letter slot tomorrow morning.

You know – 3 months after I applied to get on the bank account my husband opened with you?

Three months ago, I finally got the right paperwork together to get on the account (after going in the first time with the waste disposal bill, which on your website was considered proof of address but in person at your bank did not qualify, which meant waiting a few more weeks to get officially on a different bill, and going in a second time only to realize I’d left my passport at home and therefore had no valid-to-you proof of identification.  Side Note – Irish Government – why issue us a card with name and address and all on it, and then state it can’t be used as an ID?)

Three months ago, I was told it would take a couple weeks to be fully on the account, card in hand.

Three. Months.  Ago.

November.

So in January, when I hadn’t heard a darn thing from you, I called the local branch.  Only to get routed to the main call line, only to be told they couldn’t help me, I had to talk to the local branch, so they took my information and said I’d hear back from them.  A week later, I tried again, got the same run around, and yet again, heard back from no one.  So after a few days, we went to the branch itself.

In person, the teller called over someone else, who said “One moment”, went into The Back, came back out and said “You should be on the account in a couple days, and have your card within the week.”

Turns out, my paperwork was held up because someone forgot to sign something somewhere.  As neither Josh nor I were asked to sign anything that day, I’m assuming this wasn’t our oversight.

That week, we received a new credit book (which is good for like paying rent, but as that’s directly withdrawn, it’s pointless), with both our names on it.  Proof that I was at least on the account.

A week later, no card.

A week later, still no card.  Another trip to the branch so I could at least pull cash happened, and I was told that my card should arrive by the end of the week.

That was on a Saturday.  Over two weeks ago.

Guess what has yet to appear at my house?

All I want is my debit card. I did everything I was asked to do.  I’ve been beyond patient.  I just want my debit card, so I can do wild and crazy things like pay bills and buy groceries.  It would make our lives much easier if we didn’t have to play “Who has the debit card?”.

And yes, tomorrow, if this crappy cold hasn’t done me in, I will be making yet another trek down to the local branch where I expect to hear “It should be there within the week.”  If I should happen to say “I don’t believe you, you damned dirty liars.”, please, understand where I’m coming from.

THREE MONTHS.

grr.

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