My kids were eager to go to school today…

21 Mar

…probably to get away from the angry cursing woman that they woke up to.

I wasn’t mad at them.  They were fine.  The dog however?  She earned all my wrath.

There seems to be this horrible trend that happens – Josh leaves town for an overnight business trip and whatever dog we own at the time loses all bowel control.  It happened a lot with our dog Fred.  For Josh, Fred would hold it for…oh…37 hours straight if asked.  Me?  I could let him out every hour all day, and leave for two hours and he’d lose bowel control.

Mind you – I loathe the smell of dog poo.  Loathe.  It sets off my gag reflex and makes me angry.  Usually I will make poor Sean clean up any dog poo.  Then throw money at him while proclaiming him the Most Favorite Child Ever.

This morning, I woke up at 6:15 am to the sounds of the dog whining.  I tried to ignore it.  Then she barked a little.  But not much, just a “hey, is anyone up?” kind of whine and bark.  Finally I got up, with the hope that if I let her out, I could go back to bed for another hour until I *had* to get the girls up for school.

I came downstairs and was greeted with the smell of dog poo.


Lots of curses coming out of my mouth.

The little dog managed to push out the bottom tray of her kennel (remind me to slap the person who invented this “Easy to Remove for Cleaning!” tray) and once removing that pesky tray, she then proceeded to crap on the carpet below, step in it, grind it into the carpet, then lay in it.

I can’t tell you how many ways this did not make me happy.  I’ve basically been bitching about it ever since.  You spent the first hour awake cleaning up dog shit and see how happy it makes you.  I think it ticked me off more because I had to re-clean things that I had just cleaned – like the shower stall.  And the bathroom floor.  And the dog.

Okay, maybe not the dog.  But she was clean.

Of course, while I was cursing and cursing some more, and then cursing at the dog, the boys got up for school…Collin came down, saw what I was doing, and went back upstairs, hiding away in self-preservation.  When Sean came down, I let him know that while I thought about waking him up to clean things, I didn’t – wasn’t that nice of me?  He thought so…then scurried off to school before I made him do any dog poo related things.

But then, I got all things cleaned up, and was able to make it to meet our house guests down in City Centre to welcome them to Ireland and grab a coffee and take some luggage off their hands so they can wander about less encumbered.  And I came home to a good puppy in her kennel, everything still clean.

And there was a Tardis in my yard.  Okay, I put it there.  But a girl can dream about running away on mornings like these, right?


7 Responses to “My kids were eager to go to school today…”

  1. waynebradley March 21, 2012 at 7:08 am #

    Condolences for the bad morning, but +1 for the TARDIS.

  2. Andrew Dodson March 21, 2012 at 7:13 am #

    My wife and I were greeted to the same whining and barking by our pillow-eating Schnauzer this morning. Fortunately he gave us ample time to get him outside before he began spurting Poly-fill from his poo maker. I feel for you. There have been many mornings around here that were exactly like yours. Dogs are wonderful.

  3. Marie Cailes March 21, 2012 at 9:17 am #

    I am frequently faced with similar greetings. After being at work as a nurse for 12 hours it is the first thing I look for as my dog Rudy, greets me enthusiastically. I can’t blame him as 12-14 hours is a long time. There was a particular time when the livingroom, a 20×20 carpeted area was painted in figure eight fashion with a sickly type of poo. I can only imagine poor Rudy’s horror as he gazed upon the calamity he had created. “Oh my god, there is something coming out of my butt” as he circles frantically over the carpet. When finished and gazing over the mess I also imagine hime saying “Oh Myyy mom is gonna be so mad” then promptly vomitted as well. Not such an enthusiastic greeting that day.

  4. Sharon Hoover Weidemann March 21, 2012 at 10:19 am #

    Alex’s mom (from child book: Alexander and the terrible horrible no good very bad day) said there would be days like this…. Even in Ireland.

  5. Aspergers Girls March 21, 2012 at 11:36 am #

    Sounds like my dog that I cal “spastic colon.” LOL Love your humor and ability to laugh at the crap of life! ~ Sam 🙂

  6. Candes March 21, 2012 at 7:11 pm #

    LOL, you have no idea how many days I would look for the Tardis… just hoping…

  7. Angel Brookins March 23, 2012 at 11:41 am #

    On the bright side, the kids went to school with no fuss!
    ACH! what a mess, on the day that your guests arrive! A girl can dream of flying to an island in the sky, and knocking back a few stiff drinks!

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