Why we will never be rich

17 Apr

We’re out of bread.

We were out of bread this morning.  Josh sent the boy up to the little corner market to get more bread so they could make lunches.  The boy bought a full loaf of bread.  This morning.

I have to go buy more bread because that loaf?  Is all gone.

All I do is buy bread.  And milk.  And cereal. Then I buy more bread. And milk. And cereal. And oatmeal, cookies, clementines, yogurt, sausage rolls, red grapes, green grapes, berries, bananas, more bread, more eggs, more coffee to give me energy to go get more food.

The kids get up.  They eat.  They then have a snack.  Then they ask for lunch.  Then they have a snack while asking me what’s for dinner.  They inform me that we’re out of bread or milk then ask what’s for dinner.  Then someone will come along and ask, “What’s for dinner?”  I go to the store, I bring home groceries, someone asks “What’s for dinner?”

All they do is ask about food.

And then they eat it.

And then, I go buy more.

It’s a never-ending vicious circle.

I’ve told them to get jobs at restaurants or grocery stores, where they could get a discount on this food habit of theirs.  They think I’m kidding.

I’ve tried not buying food.  They just get hungry and hound me for more food.  Oh, and apparently “good mothers” feed their kids.


Someday, when they’re all grown, I’m going to go to their houses and eat all their cookies.  And then leave the empty package in the cabinet.  Then steal their bread and milk on my way out.

But for now, I’m just going to send a boy up to the store for more bread.



19 Responses to “Why we will never be rich”

  1. kimchifeedme April 17, 2012 at 3:27 pm #

    No cheese?

    • phoebz4 April 17, 2012 at 3:34 pm #

      No…well…okay, sometimes. But we have to make sure we have enough Nutella or there could be chaos in the morning!

  2. Courtney April 17, 2012 at 3:32 pm #

    I’m laughing! By the way, I hide a box of Lucky Charms just for myself….otherwise I’d never get to actually eat my favorite cereal, the kids would eat it all.

  3. Jessica April 17, 2012 at 3:42 pm #

    A friend of mine, with teenagers, told me of the time when the oldest son made himself a sandwich – by cutting through the bread loaf lengthwise. Made a huge sandwich for him. Mom, though, was far from amused.

  4. Karen April 17, 2012 at 3:43 pm #

    Hahaha, I used to hide chocolate covered cherries…found out a few years ago (now that they’re grown) a couple of the kids found them but never told.

  5. niamibunni April 17, 2012 at 4:04 pm #

    It’s even more expensive when mommy has celiac and son has multiple life threatening allergies. The breads, egg/milk free things and special seed butters are pretty darn expensive.

  6. Joan April 17, 2012 at 4:49 pm #

    I laughed when I read this as my daughter just told me the same thing about her kids! Just wanted to add how much I look forward to reading your blog, keep up the good job!

  7. denverlori April 17, 2012 at 5:10 pm #

    As i read this my teenage daughter poured herself a bowl of cereal and then drank out of the milk jug…

    • saracvt April 17, 2012 at 5:39 pm #

      YOUR daughter does that, too? I thought I had the only ones who behaved like savages. Seriously, when there’s an entire open cabinet of clean glasses in easy reach AND you have been told over and over and OVER AGAIN that it’s unsanitary, lazy and just plain rude to drink straight out of the jug, why do you persist in doing it?

      Also, I always thought it was an exaggeration and an old wives’ tale that children grew overnight until mine actually did it. Now I buy their clothes from Walmart and consignment stores, because who can afford to spend piles of money on clothes they may not even wear before they’ve outgrown them? (They have actually done this–outgrown things before they had a chance to wear them to school.) Fortunately, with twins who wear two different sizes (don’t ask), we get the hand-me-down effect and stuff lasts a little longer. But we still donate a lot.

  8. Mara April 17, 2012 at 6:17 pm #

    My kids are 8,6,and 3 1/2 and they already eat all the groceries after only two days. Are you telling me it doesn’t get better?!? I grew up with one sister and we NEVER ate that much! Ugh, looks like Costco may be our regular grocery store. And I may need a part time job to finance the grocery bill;-) Do they have Costco in Ireland?

    • phoebz4 April 18, 2012 at 5:01 am #

      No, it doesn’t get better. And no Costco’s or Sam’s Club’s or anything like that here. But the ladies at the corner market know the kids well by now 😉

  9. lauramarieforlife April 17, 2012 at 6:41 pm #

    This sounds so familiar growing up in a large family! We’re always running out of something!

  10. Candy Wray April 17, 2012 at 6:42 pm #

    Yep! And by the way, we are out of toilet paper.

  11. maureen April 17, 2012 at 7:20 pm #

    I can so relate. I have two girls and they are skinny as can be and eat ALL the time. It seems to disappear as fast as I buy it.

  12. Maura April 17, 2012 at 8:07 pm #

    You made me laugh today. I thought only my kids left the empty packages in the pantry! And as far as grocery shopping goes? Our local grocery store gives me a Christmas gift every year for being one of their top shoppers…. ca-ching! Thanks for writing!

  13. momof3edfkids April 17, 2012 at 9:49 pm #

    I love your blog and I loved this post. I read it to my two boys (ages 17 and 14) when we were in the car at Sonic waiting for our order and they were laughing. (High praise from teenage boys) Later showed it to my 15 yr old daughter and she loved it (especially the comment about good mothers) Definitely the story of our household. Now i can’t wait to show it to my husband (he is asleep) because he thinks that no other family in the world is like ours.
    Well gotta go check on what we can have for breakfast in the morning because we are probably out of cereal.

    • phoebz4 April 18, 2012 at 5:04 am #

      Very high praise indeed! And this morning I came down to discover….we’re out of cereal. A friend of mine once caught me in Target putting six boxes of cereal in my cart, then was slightly horrified when I told her it might last a week.

  14. Audrey April 18, 2012 at 9:14 am #

    This is great! I’m sure my mom felt like that about all of us kids too. 🙂 And they probably don’t have a Costco in your corner of Ireland?

  15. lexiemom April 18, 2012 at 5:19 pm #

    I feel your pain, and I only have 2 (with one on the way), and a hubby that puts it away, too. But we go through the milk & bread, eggs & cereal, and frozen waffles so fast, I wish the grocery store had a drive thru.

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