Well, this is a new one

This morning, Maura got up and came downstairs all happy after a good night’s sleep (which was not the case the night before, where we stayed up until 5 am watching Doctor Who – mental note – “The Empty Child” slightly freaks her out.  It’s a first.)

When I went up to her room to get her clothes to change into, I glanced at her bed and saw some streaks smeared across her sheet.

My brain went “Weird.  It doesn’t smell like poop in here.”

No.  It didn’t.

Then my brain said “And you just changed her diaper.  She wasn’t poopy.”

No. No she wasn’t.

And then I saw what was on there.


The girl snuck blueberries into her room at some point.  Maybe in the backpack she took with her to bed.  The one she’d taken out onto the deck with her last night as she munched on a package of blueberries. Which she must have packed back into the backpack, and then munched on in her bed after going to bed.

Oddly enough, I was wishing it was actually poop on the sheets and not squished up blueberries.  Because blueberries stain and I’m good with getting poop out of stuff (there’s something that can’t go on a resume.)  But sheet has been pretreated, and now in the wash.

Oh, and true fact – if you sleep on blueberries, your body will have all these little blue marks that could appear as bruises to the general public.  Luckily, the blue marks came off easily.  Much easier than the pen marks on her arm (which, when Collin said “She’s got pen on her”, I said “Well maybe she was counting how many Silence she ran into.”  Yes, another Doctor Who reference there.)

Of course, after pretreating the blueberry stains and starting the itty bitty washer, I turned and there’s Maura – with a bloody scratch on her head.  sigh. (She bumped her head the other night and scraped it, and she was scratching at the scabs.)

So I wiped blood, ink and blueberry off my child today.  And it’s 11 am Dublin time. And it was one of those moments where I thought “No wonder I can never get anything done.”  Because I spend my life cleaning blueberries off sheets and ink off a child.  Again, skills necessary for this job, but not ones I can put on a resume.