Who You Hurt

23 Oct

Once again, Ann Coulter is being her charming self on Twitter, uttering this eye-roll-inducing statement –



Yes, Ms. “I’m So Smart” called the President of the United States a “retard”.


So of course, this has gotten the attention of us special needs parents on Twitter. A campaign has started, with the hash tag #whoyouhurt –

So, who gets hurt when you use the word “retard” around me and mine?

I could go on about hurting my other children, myself, my husband, Maura’s grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, teachers…or even link you to what I wrote about our interpretation of the phrase “Being Retarded”

But really? Who you really hurt is yourself.  You hurt yourself with your ignorance and your inability to consider other people’s feelings.  You make yourself appear to be uncaring and inconsiderate of some of the most vulnerable in our society. At the end of the day, you aren’t applauded for your witty statements and quips.  Instead, you are just someone causing pain to people who don’t really need more pain in their life.  And we’re tired of it.

I said it before, I’ll say it again – the only person who looks stupid when you use the word “retarded” is yourself.



This is our version of “retarded” – a bright beautiful loving child – I hope anyone reading this will think twice before using that word as a derogatory slur again.





16 Responses to “Who You Hurt”

  1. Doris Williams October 23, 2012 at 11:45 am #

    Beautifully said. I was thinking the same thing this morning when I read her comment. My son, Javy, blesses everyone he meets with his happy disposition. How many people has Ms. Coulter blessed today.

    • phoebz4 October 23, 2012 at 3:13 pm #

      as far as I know…not even herself.

  2. Michelle Sheldon October 23, 2012 at 12:08 pm #

    You are my hero!

  3. Honest Mom October 23, 2012 at 4:01 pm #

    God, she is a vile excuse for a human being.

    Great post. And adorable kiddo. 🙂

  4. Maura Kiey October 23, 2012 at 5:04 pm #

    Well said. I am in your corner.

  5. Heather Truett October 23, 2012 at 5:23 pm #

    Amen!!! Thank you.

  6. Morgan October 23, 2012 at 5:31 pm #

    My sister has tourette’s syndrome and she just actually tweeted about this very thing today! It’s so important that we stay away from this language no matter if it’s meant to be funny or not. Glad to know there are other folks out there who agree and understand the importance 🙂
    Following your blog now, looking forward to future posts!

  7. Jessica (@jessbwatson) October 23, 2012 at 8:18 pm #

    I think this too, that aside from being a miserable human being she must be just plain ignorant and she disguises her ignorance by using offensive language because she has nothing else to say.

  8. Emily October 23, 2012 at 9:31 pm #

    Have you seen this video:

    I am using it with my fifth grade students trying show them why the word retard/retarded is do inappropriate?

    • Emily October 23, 2012 at 9:32 pm #

      *so inappropriate

  9. Kelly October 24, 2012 at 2:39 pm #

    Hi, a friend forwarded this link to me and maybe you’ve already seen but if not, here it is:
    My son has an extra chromosome and if I ever meet Ann in a dark alley…

    • phoebz4 October 24, 2012 at 2:42 pm #

      I have seen it but it is totally worth repeating!

  10. umhbchelle October 25, 2012 at 10:16 am #

    That word is one I grow up using, not meaning any harm. I started reading your blog, and realized it is not ok. So I have been watching myself, but recently noticed my 3 kids coming home from school using it. We talked about it and instituted a new policy at our house. When someone uses it (and a few other words I no longer wish to hear thankyouverymuch) out of habit, they are required to write five synonyms and antonyms for it. Yep , I am a teacher by trade…how did you guess? 🙂 I did point out to them that it is just an ugly word for what we call our special friends (special needs group at church), and they were horrified. So thank you…you made this mama and her 3 really compassionate children from Texas stop and think about what we were really saying, however unintentionally it might have been. You go girl…keep up the good work!

    • phoebz4 October 25, 2012 at 2:30 pm #

      Thank you! And yes, I did lol at teacher mom turning this into a learning situation in more than one way 🙂

  11. IT2's October 25, 2012 at 9:08 pm #

    Reblogged this on it2s and commented:
    The NonVerbals: We wrote about how we felt about Ann Coulter’s inappropriate name calling and we are asking and encouraging all IT2’s (Intelligent Thinkers X 2) all around the world to stand up & speak up with us. Our strength is in each of us and we are stronger as we unite together and allow our voices to be heard. We do not have to hide in the shadows any longer. IT2’s have great creativity and undiscovered talents to be given to this world. Everyday we are hearing about the accomplishments of someone with special needs. Please read our comments, share with your friends & families and again we encourage you to speak up & out. We are Nonverbal, but we will be heard. Sending you all of Christ Jesus love and ours, I am Deer Jon & IT2’s.


  1. Hey Ann Coulter, Where's Your Humanity? The mom blog backlash to "retard" and "disown your son" tweets | Honest Mom - October 23, 2012

    […] Phoebe Holmes from Herding Cats: Who You Hurt […]

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