Once upon a time, my therapist asked me if I thought I had ADHD. I joked that I wasn’t sure if I had it, or hung around it so much that it rubbed off.
Now I’m thinking I don’t have adhd, but just life interrupted.
See, I try to do things, I swear. But something or someone comes along and goes “Hey, you’re not busy, can you do this?” Usually in the form of splashing or “Maura! No!” or sounds of breaking glass. Sometimes screaming (and sometimes, it’s my own.)
Yesterday, I had two goals for the afternoon. Take Sean for new school shoes and get some groceries. I looked out my front window, noticed finger prints and thought “That’s right, we’re out of window cleaner, I need to get some.”
I managed to get the shoes. But we took Maura with us. And Maura decided to throw big huge hissy fits all the way down from the shoe store to the food store. When she decided to go limp and slide to the ground for the 13th time, even though I was in site of the grocery store, I went “F**k it.” (in my inside voice, don’t worry.)
And now, I sit here, looking at fingerprints on my windows.
My life is a constant state of “Drop everything and take care of this most pressing issue.” It could be as easy as “Crap, I forgot Mim had practice today.” It could be a phone call of “Mom, Zoey’s bleeding.” It’s always “Shoot, what’s for dinner?” (One doesn’t really do food storage here in Ireland. They don’t really do food preservatives, not to mention, there’s never enough room to store food…and my kids keep eating it all.)
Even when I get all humans out of the house, the dogs will be obnoxious.. Zoey started my day off howling. Howling! At 6:30 in the a.m. I looked down the stairs and was all “What is wrong with you?” Nothing. Mim wanted to know why I was making that noise.
And just this instant, I had to stop and get up and shoo dogs away from the red delicious crayon they were fighting over to chew up. I’m not sure where they find these things sometimes.
And I can hear them chewing up something right now…hold on…
I spend my life being interrupted. If I’m on the phone, someone desperately needs to tell me something. If I’m eating, someone needs something cut up. If I’m sleeping, someone needs to vomit, or be awake and needs company. If I’m knitting, someone wants to curl up on my lap (be it child or small dog.) If I’m writing, someone has a question they need an answer to. Or in Maura’s case, she just wants to hang out with me. And touch the screen. Which makes me rethink the whole touch screen tablet thing.
I’ve been pulled in so many directions and had to quickly change gears constantly for the past sixteen years. At this point, I don’t know if I can finish a complete thought or sentence or task straight through. I’m constantly anticipating the interruption.
So if I seem a bit ADHD or flighty or disorganized, it’s not from lack of effort on my part. It’s just because I am constantly interrup