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Reason #2947 why I probably shouldn’t be a parent

12 Sep

Maybe I’ve hit that point of moving and all that paperwork where I’ve gotten a bit punch-drunk with all the forms and formalities.

Because today, Collin hands me the syllabus for Algebra II, which is syllabus #927 that I’ve gotten from these kids of mine, where I’m supposed to read the teacher’s manifesto for the year, sign it to state I agree with it, answer questions, leave my bank account and social security number so I can help them transfer money from their account in Kenya – I really don’t know anymore.  I’ve stopped reading them.

But they keep asking the same questions, and I get bored with the same answers.

Like “What languages are spoken in your home?”

I want to write “Irish – it’s like English, but with a lot more cursing.”

But I won’t.

“What is one strength your student has?”  Sarcasm – but I’m not sure every teacher considers that a strength (some do…but they’re the ones who warned me that some don’t appreciate it.  Seriously.  I’ve had this conversation.)

“Do you prefer an interpreter/translator when I contact you?”  Yes – good luck finding someone that speaks Irish.

“What is your goal for your student in this math class?”  Um…to pass with a good grade?  Really, isn’t that everyone’s goal?  I don’t know much about math….

“Are there things I should know about your family that will help  me be more sensitive to your student?”  Seriously, two lines aren’t going to cut it…I should just refer her to this blog.  But that might give her the wrong impression….hmmm…

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to find out if the boy’s calculator from Ireland will cut it, or if I have to plunk down $100 for some schmancy calculator with the correct types of buttons…

Please note – I may have answered these questions just like that out loud – and my son snickered.  Because he’s my son.  I did promise to play Good Mom when I answered the questions though – so no “his superpower is sarcasm” responses.)

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8 Responses to “Reason #2947 why I probably shouldn’t be a parent”

  1. Alzbeta September 12, 2013 at 6:06 pm #

    Ohhh, pleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease actually turn one in like that!

    • phoebz4 September 12, 2013 at 6:15 pm #

      I need to figure out which teacher has the sense of humor first 😉

  2. Vicki September 12, 2013 at 7:04 pm #

    As a teacher I have had a few responses like these and I LOVE it! But I do know some who wouldn’t appreciate It. As a parent who teaches at my children’s school I have been known to send in creative responses because I know the staff really well and know my target audience 🙂 I did have my son tell me it would be alright to hand an assignment in late if he had a note from me. When I told him that I wasn’t making excuses for him he said with a smile that the teacher had said a note, not a note with a good reason! So I sent a note saying it was late because he was slack and didn’t listen to his mother when she told him to manage his time, got a smile from the teacher luckily 🙂

  3. Renee Anne September 12, 2013 at 7:13 pm #

    I wonder if the fancy schmancy calculator can be replaced by a fancy iPhone/iTouch app….it’ll be a hell of a lot cheaper.

  4. saracvt September 12, 2013 at 11:15 pm #

    How about the conversation I have every year–“Don’t trust Maddy with scissors. Seriously. Don’t turn your back. She will not only cut her own hair, she will cut other kids’ hair and clothes. Basically anything she can. Yes, I know she’s 10. Yes, I’ve explained that’s not okay. She still does it. Trust me.”

    Or the one that causes teachers to start clearing their throats and acting uncomfortable: “Olivia has, since toddler age, chased boys and tried to kiss them. I don’t know why. She has been told time and again not to, but still tries. PROTECT YOUR BOYS.”

    Been there. Sometimes the unusual answers need to be said.

  5. franhunne4u September 12, 2013 at 11:25 pm #

    Hm – sounds like the FUN-part of having kids.
    When I started university I had to fill out a form where they asked me about my parents. My mom being dead for 6 years then and me reaching the obligatory answer of residence of her I asked if I should provide them with the adress of the cemetery. To my greatest surprise since then I have only ever seen forms, where they say you can leave out the adress if the parent is dead.
    Sometimes they react to the more stupid answers …

  6. My Pajama Days September 13, 2013 at 6:01 am #

    OH! I am so glad to know that I am not the only one that dreads those darn “parent letters”. Seriously, can’t they just forward them on to the next teacher each year? I once asked a teacher to write me a “teacher letter” at the end of the year because I felt that as my child’s teacher, spending more time all day with my kid than I do, that she should enlighten me on what things could help make it easier to parent. I got no response.

  7. Jessica September 13, 2013 at 7:17 am #

    I vote for needing translation into irish!

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