Last night, at the dinner table…

15 Oct

So last night, as we were eating dinner, the subject of weddings came up.  In hopes to give our 13 yr old girl sage advice, her father launched in on the whole “It doesn’t matter about this or that, just that you love each other and are willing on working on that commitment” and other such wisdom.  And about how it wasn’t about the ring, but the love they had, and  how it doesn’t matter what kind of ring you have, just as long as you guys are happy…

And then, the 13 yr old girl, who obviously is trying to find new ways of killing her father, says “Yeah, my dream engagement ring* is a…”

I’m not sure what she said after that, because my attention was captured by my husband, whose face twisted and turned red as he sputtered “The fuck?”

Anything else the girl had to say was drowned out by the laughter of her mother and brother.

Then my husband, who handles all things with a cool collectedness, got up, opened the liquor cabinet and had a shot of whiskey.

As his daughter went “What?” and his son and wife laughed more.

He then spent the next five minutes looking at his daughter while stammering words like “What?” and “Wha?” and “WHAT?”

Poor man.  He’s going to need a LOT more whiskey to survive the teen years…and he doesn’t even have to take her shopping for things like prom dresses.  Which I hate to break it to him, she already  probably has planned out as well.

*edited after the fact as dad remembered exactly what was said, as the words are now burned into his brain…


6 Responses to “Last night, at the dinner table…”

  1. franhunne4u October 15, 2013 at 12:28 pm #

    oh those “nice” years ahead …

    • phoebz4 October 15, 2013 at 12:44 pm #

      Yes, we’re quite looking forward to them. I’m sure they’ll be easy 😉

      • franhunne4u October 15, 2013 at 12:46 pm #

        I am sure, you of all mothers I read about, can handle them!

  2. noturavggeek October 15, 2013 at 1:46 pm #

    I’m pretty sure the only way my Dad handled my teenage years was with a daily shot and a beer chaser. Regardless his message, the same as your husband’s cut through the teenage hormones eventually and sunk in. Now he pines that I’m a crazy cat lady with only a furry grandchild to spoil!

    And when in doubt there’s always the embarrassment factor. My Dad loved nothing more than pulling out my baby photos and showing them to boyfriends and just plain guy friends alike. And he wonders why I’m a cat lady….lol

  3. Susan Holmes October 15, 2013 at 4:52 pm #

    He will survive, but he needs to clean up that language!! This is from his mother. That is not a word that should ever be used in front of his daughter or sons….because he doesn’t want to explain how it is totally against all that is sacred in marriage. That said, he should remember that all babies are brought by the stork or found in the cabbage patch, and that is the way all children want to think of their parents, and parents want to think of their children.

  4. Amanda October 15, 2013 at 5:47 pm #

    My father’s response to that sort of thing was to consider how much he’d give us to elope. It started out as just the ladder; then it was a ladder and a tank of gas. Then it was the ladder, a tank of gas, and help loading up the car. By the time I came along, it was a ladder and a new car, gassed up and loaded and my mom having a boxed meal ready for us to take along.

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