Maura has pretty, but slightly wonky, eyes and a tendency to lose glasses. So when we got here, one of the first things I set up was an eye doctor appointment.
Three months later, our time finally came.
I picked her up from school early, and she was in a great mood. Happy to see me, waving “Bye friends!” to the kids on the playground. All was well. We arrived early, checked in, and were pointed to the kids waiting room with little theater room, complete with darkened lights and cozy bean bag chairs and “Despicable Me” playing.
Maura was thrilled.
I wondered what kind of crowbar would it take to pry her out of the little movie theater.
Luckily, I didn’t need that crowbar at that moment, as when the nurse came and called for Maura, she went happily…until we walked into the exam room. Then it was all “no thank you” and “home?”.
The assistant started asking questions, history, etc, and Maura breaks out with “Potty?”
We go to the bathroom…where she does nothing. Because the little stinker is trying to use this as an excuse to get out of being seen by the doctor.
Well-played Maura. But I will catch on.
So I haul her back into the exam room, the assistant finishes with questions, and leaves us.
This is when I decide to distract Maura with the iPhone. She wants to turn on Netflix and throws a fit when I say no. It’s okay, I think, I may have videos on the phone. I scroll through, find Video and tap it – hooray! Videos.
Except fracking iTunes didn’t download the fracking content, just the fracking photos of each video. So Maura can see that shows are supposed to be there, but they won’t play.
Dear iTunes – you suck.
However, the doctor comes in and I hide the useless piece of iTechnology. Maura eyes the doctor and decides she wants nothing to do with this.
The doctor though is great, tries to win over Maura, shows her what she’s going to do, we lure Maura into the chair on my lap, and even get Maura to read letters across the way. She refuses to cover up one eye though and tells the doctor “Go away!”
Being a wise woman, the doctor decides to let the assistant do the eye drops. This leads to me half-wrestling Maura into the proper position (and seeing as Maura is nearly as long as me, it was probably interesting to watch) as the assistant deftly gets one drop in per eye – and then we all laugh it off, and high five Maura for doing such a great job. Because that’s what you do. Even if they initially freak, you always high five them for surviving it.
Back into the movie cave we went, where Maura snuggled up to me on a bean bag chair to watch the movie as her eyes dilated and I tried not to fall asleep. This time, when the doctor came for us, Maura didn’t want to leave but after a few moments did come with us. I then herded her into the room, where she eyed the chair and went “No.”
The doctor kept being awesome and used the magic word “robot” to describe the big eye tester thing. (What is that called anyway?) One of Maura’s current favorite movies is “Robots” – so then she was all “Robot?” and went towards the chair. Then she balked and went “No thank you!” So then I sat in the chair and showed her. Then she sat in the chair, only to fuss and slide out of it while going “Mooom!” This led to me sitting in the chair with her to do the robot eye routine. All while saying “When we’re done, we’ll go to McDonald’s.”
Yes, I had brought out the Big Guns. “If you’re a good girl and let the doctor do X, we’ll go to McDonald’s.”
She asked to go potty. I decided not to fall for that trick again and hoped she was faking it, as she was sitting on my lap. The doctor did her thing while I encouraged Maura, and lenses were tested and lights shone in her eyes and letters called out. A prescription was determined and written up.
We went into the eyewear section and picked out glasses. Maura was quick to choose a pair, but wanted to take them home immediately. “Backpack!” she said, trying to tuck them in.
“No, they need to stay here so she can fix them for your eyes.”
“If you want to go to McDonald’s, you have to put the glasses back.”
Glasses were returned, but not without some dramatic show of tears and boohoo-ing. Which was over as soon as it begun.
And yes, we then went to McDonald’s.
Because as balky and difficult as she seemed to be acting, Maura was doing her best in a situation that she couldn’t fully understand. This was the first time the big robot eyes were used on her, tried something new and scary, didn’t hold a grudge over the eye drops, followed along when she would have rather watched the movie. Really, she did quite well.
Now hopefully, the prescription is the right one!