It’s alright not to feel okay – Music Monday

3 Feb

This is the song playing right now on my speakers – it’s by a group out of Dublin called Heathers – the song is actually called “Forget Me Knots” – here, have a listen while you read…


They told me that when I was younger
Lying leaves you blind and don’t leave anyone behind
And all those things that make you stronger
Will have you lying on the floor think you can’t take it anymore

It’s alright not to feel okay…

As someone who has dealt with depression and anxiety and all that, I like the message of this song.  “It’s alright not to feel okay.”  In a word where Positivity is pushed at you like a street drug and you’re chastised for complaining about anything because somewhere out there, someone is worse off than you, I find this song refreshing.  And hopeful.

And I promise I’m here when you need me
Some people tell you that you just need to get up and grow up
Forget it forgive what you’re hearing
Some people just don’t understand what it feels like to fall

So don’t fall…

It’s alright to not find the positive thing in every situation.

It’s alright to say it’s not fair about something that truly isn’t fair.

It’s alright not to feel okay.

Just don’t make it long-term, okay?

And don’t lose sight of what’s to live for
Because there’s truth in what they say
It’s alright not to feel okay…




9 Responses to “It’s alright not to feel okay – Music Monday”

  1. franhunne4u February 4, 2014 at 12:11 am #

    Yes, it IS allright to feel sad/bad/unfulfilled/tricked/cheated … And YES, do not indulge in that feeling longterm!
    Sad music means catharsis – a cleaning from those feelings through experiencing them through arts. It is a kind of drug for the soul – just do not get addicted 😉 (A friend of mine once called Leonhard Cohen “soundtrack to suicide” – I think: only if you overdose …)

    • phoebz4 February 4, 2014 at 12:13 am #

      LOL – yes, too many sad songs can be a problem. When I was in high school, I called a friend one night and asked what he was up to. He said “Oh, I’m listening to all my Cure albums” and I said “Are you suicidal?” Because my God, the Cure can be depressing!

  2. Nancy Spivey February 4, 2014 at 10:22 am #

    This is a very important message. I hate the whole “count your blessings” crowd. Sometimes you just can’t, and that’s okay. If someone feels bad, don’t tell them there’s nothing to feel bad about.

    • phoebz4 February 4, 2014 at 12:39 pm #

      I think it is good to count blessings sometimes, remember that your life has had great moments, and you have been lucky in so many ways. But you shouldn’t be guilted into it when you’re having a very bad day.

  3. saracvt February 4, 2014 at 12:47 pm #

    As another song I often play goes,

    “How you love me, God only knows,
    There’s ghosts & there’s witches
    There’s black eyes and stitches
    They come with me, they’re part of the show”
    —“Weight Of A Man”

    (I haven’t felt okay most of my life. And that’s really not okay. But I do what I can and hope someday I will.)

  4. andthreemakesfive February 4, 2014 at 1:07 pm #

    I am one of those ridiculous -count-your-blessings-see-the blessings-in everything idiots.. I know that.. I was built that way… but somedays.. I’m downright ugly.. and I know it and I’m rude and grouchy and I can feel it all the way to my bones… so I go with it! I give into the ugly and just be a witch… I may cry and yell and scream (and apologize later) and then I rant and rave about all the things that bug me… and its ok.. I have to let myself feel the ugly to give myself the peptalk I need a day or so later to be a nice friggin ray of sunshine again.

    • Nancy Spivey February 4, 2014 at 2:30 pm #

      I did not mean to apply that optimistic people are idiots. I am an optimistic person. But I do hate when I feel bad about something, or about nothing, and someone says that to me. It feels like a dismissal of my feelings.

      I apologize if I sounded harsh.

      • andthreemakesfive February 4, 2014 at 3:41 pm #’t misunderstand, I didn’t take offense at all… . I totally get irritated with myself for my polyanna -ness..I absolutely get what you say..I was agreeing with you.. .It is minimizing for people to say.. look on the bright side.. .if you can feel the badness, acknowledge it and go are stronger than those who never want to acknowledge the broken heart.

      • saracvt February 4, 2014 at 4:40 pm #

        But what about those of us who can never acknowledge anything BUT the broken heart? I would be lying to say that I’ve never experienced short-term happiness (I grin widely at Great Big Sea concerts, for example), but long-term joy is a place foreign to me. I’ve fought this dark struggle as long as I can remember; it runs in my family (what a great legacy!)

        I don’t feel I am stronger than optimists, but I DO fight, daily. So where do I fit? And yes, I am constantly annoyed by those who tell me to “look on the bright side” or “count my blessings” or “be grateful for what I have” or “it’s impossible to be depressed if you exercise regularly!” or “have you tried taking vitamin D? I heard people in the PNW might not get enough.”

        Actually, I do, and I am, and it is, and I saw an endocrinologist and take ridiculous daily supplements of D, because SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) runs in my family as well. But optimism doesn’t.

        So what would you do with someone like me?

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