Okay, so printers are made by Satan, we all know that. Right now, my printer is being balky because it wants me to buy new ink cartridges and I’m determined to wear those puppies down until they can print no more.
After spending about 30 minutes on Ravelry hunting down a knitting pattern, I went to print it out.
I turned on the printer.
I loaded paper.
I waited for it to warm up.
I waited some more.
I sent it to print.
I then got the message on my computer that my printer wasn’t happy and would like me to come over there for a chat.
I ignored it.
I heard the printer make noise.
I noticed Maura go over to the printer.
I finally go to get my printed page.
There’s no printed page. There is a message about firmware and please press “ok” when done. So I press “ok” and nothing happens.
“Maura, did you take my paper?”
Hmmm…well…maybe I didn’t do something right. But then I followed a squirrely path, got distracted on Facebook for a moment, decided to get a drink in the kitchen, and walk by the table…
…and found the pattern, printed out, on the table.
She sounded so convincing when she said she didn’t take my paper. Sweet innocent child that she is. I should have known she was lying because she’s a bit obsessed with paper. (And by “lying”, I mean answering wrong – because to this day, she can mix up “yes” and “no”. It’s one of her charms that keeps us on our toes.)
So I claim my printed sheet of paper.
No…mine. Get your own knitting pattern kiddo.
If I seem like I’m being gaslighted…it’s because I am.
She’s lucky she’s cute.