Ten steps to cleaning Maura’s room

24 Jan

Today I vowed to put back together Maura’s room, into some semblance of organization.  Once a month, we go in there and organize all the things back to their spots.  And every time, by the end of it, I need therapy.

There’s ten basic steps to cleaning Maura’s room.  They go like this –

Step One – Stare into the room and feel all hope leave your body.  Contemplate walking away and dealing with it on another day.

Step Two – Find your resolve, and start chucking things into piles – clothes, dolls, books, shoes, random items that don’t belong in there, piles of paper…

Step Three – Realizing yet again that your child is a combination of a squirrel, a pack rat, and a magpie.  Wonder over the amount of torn paper in the room.

Step Four – Maura enters, ooo’s over the newly discovered floor space and immediately starts removing items from piles. You then shoo her out.

Step Five – Contemplate gasoline and a match, or at least maybe getting rid of a few things without her noticing.

Step Six – Maura enters again, just after you’ve finally put all the books back in order, and proceeds to take all the books off the shelf.  Shoo her from the room again, more loudly.

Step Seven – Realize that True Organization can never happen while the girl is underfoot.  Contemplate drinking.  Start shoving things into bins to be sorted out later.

Step Eight – Maura enters the room yet again, now plucking treasure out of the trash pile.  Cry a little.

Step Nine – Realize that you can’t truly clean the joint until the girl is back in school, where you can get rid of all the things while she’s not looking.

Step Ten – Abandon all hope, take dirty clothes to laundry room, hide in there with a glass of wine while listening to the joyful sounds of Maura tearing apart her now clean-ish room.

Her room never looks like this.  That's why I took a picture, to remember it by.

Her room never looks like this. That’s why I took a picture, to remember it by.

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4 Responses to “Ten steps to cleaning Maura’s room”

  1. Marti January 24, 2015 at 4:35 pm #

    My issue with Max is that he loves toys other kids his age have outgrown and we have toys he’s not developmentally ready for, thus we have more stuff than Toys R Us. I feel you, sister!

    • phoebz4 January 24, 2015 at 4:49 pm #

      OMG yes. We can’t get rid of those freaking Wonder Pets still…sigh. And since Maura’s gotten bigger, I swear, her dolls have too. So she has big My Little Ponies from Build a Bear, and big plush Disney Princess dolls. What we need now is a bigger room. LOL!

      • franhunne4u January 25, 2015 at 2:57 am #

        The bigger room will be an option once her siblings leave home.

  2. Josephine January 24, 2015 at 10:38 pm #

    That is how I tend to feel about my whole house, which is frequently overrun by 5 grandchildren (nearly 8, 6, 5, 2 and 1) and organization never was my strong point. I am not as bad any on those (hoarder) shows – but I can see myself in some of them (I can see that something has to go – but not tha- a- a- a- t.). I really can’t watch them, they make me too depressed. Mr 5 slept over last night and I mentioned I needed to get rid of stuff – he said “Not the toys!” and then asked “What stuff?”. While I was contemplating for the billionth time: the books? the fabric? the craft stuff? the doll & toy collection? (as opposed to the kids toys – though there is an overlap), the mending and the old clothes that I am going to creatively alter and recycle? (yeah- maybe them), he pipes up “but all your things are pretty. We love them. We love your place.” mmmmm cuddles.

    I noticed all the very large ponies! We still have a large box of original My Little Ponies from when my girls where kids. When I say out loud the solution is a larger house – I seem to get frowns (“five kids used to live in this house!”- as opposed to 3 daughters and their 5 kids virtually living here?) and they threaten to put me on a hoarder show.

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