I am not defined by…oh who am I kidding?

12 Mar

“I am not defined by my [fill in the blank]!”

It’s a lovely, empowering, and dare I say it – inspirational saying.  THIS does not define me!  I am so much more than THIS!



…not quite.

Everything that has happened in my life up to this very moment has had a hand in creating me, defining me, refining me.  All those things are in me, are a part of me, and explains why I am the person I am right now.  I have been shaped by them, they have crept into my DNA, and sometimes have an unspoken vote in what I do – or at least, why I do things.

I am not defined by motherhood, and yet, I embrace the title of Mom wholeheartedly. I am not defined by Maura’s special needs, but it is part of my daily life, something I make even the smallest of decisions based upon..  I am not defined by my skin condition, but my psoriasis and I have lived with each other for my entire life.  I am not defined by the little 12 year old girl I was, who was snubbed by an entire 7th grade class of girls at the same time my parents were separating – but I would be a liar if I said it didn’t affect me and change me.  I am not defined by my anxiety, but I am smart enough to admit that sometimes it controls me.  I am not defined by my artistic side, but it is part of my DNA and to deny it would be like denying my right hand. I am not defined by my blog, but it is my truths as I see it at the time.

I am not defined by these things, and yet, they are part of my definition.  They have all played a part in my refining process, and molded me into the person I am right now.

My definition will be added to as my life goes on, I can embrace that fact.

I am defined by motherhood.

I am defined by Maura’s special needs.

I am defined by my psoriasis.

I am defined by past hurts and traumas.

I am defined by anxiety.

I am defined by music and art.

I am defined by writing.

They make me Me, and I accept them all in my definition.







5 Responses to “I am not defined by…oh who am I kidding?”

  1. teresamcnally March 12, 2015 at 6:31 pm #

    Food for thought Phoebe, as usual .


  2. Josephine March 12, 2015 at 8:17 pm #

    like. (define ‘define’)

  3. Darcy Pennington Arnold March 13, 2015 at 12:31 am #

    You are such a wonderful, candid author. I don’t ‘know’ you, but I recognize you in every word. Thank you for being you and making it okay to be me.

  4. Nance March 13, 2015 at 10:05 am #

    A wonderful bit of writing that made me think about ME–thank you, once again for your honest thought process. Keeping it real and beautiful!!!

  5. Aine moloney March 14, 2015 at 6:00 pm #

    What an honest blog phoebe. You show such self awareness with great style and humour. Aine

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