Sewergate – Day 48217346

13 May

Okay, so it’s only been almost a full week since my downstairs shower drain started spewing the evil we tried to flush down it.  It just seems longer.

It seems longer because somehow, the problem hasn’t gotten better.  (To catch those of you not in the know up on this – Thursday, our downstairs bathroom flooded whenever someone did something like shower upstairs, or run the washing machine full of wet towels from cleaning up the bathroom.  Roto Rooter came out Friday to unclog the drain only to discover that when the new water line was put in, they oops, drilled the new water line in through the sewer line, busting apart the sewer line, causing everything we flushed to catch on the broken shards of concrete and backing up the line into our house after a week of this.  Funny enough, the new water line passed inspection. Roto Rooter offered to have someone out the next morning, but the property management company wanted those who broke it to fix it so they wouldn’t have to pay for the fixing of the sewer line, and it took these yahoos four days to get out here.)

We spent the weekend waiting to hear about when someone would come out to fix it.  And Monday as well. Finally we were told that it would be fixed Tuesday.  While waiting, we were not doing things like…showering, washing dishes, running dishwasher, running washing machine, etc…because Roto Rooter guy warned us that the clog was only partially cleared, it would definitely clog up again with normal usage.

And now, because all of this wasn’t enough – it’s gotten Even More Interesting!!!

And by interesting, I mean “there’s a big hole full of our waste products at the end of my front sidewalk and no one seems to think this is a problem except us”. Even Maura knows there shouldn’t be a big hole out there.  That’s how bad this is.

It’s okay though – the big hole that they dug yesterday is protected by a shovel and a rake.  No.  Really. A shovel and a rake.  See, usually, when they dig giant holes at the end of your walkway/side of your driveway, they try to at least cover it with plywood so you don’t fall into the three foot hole of waste water and broken pipe.  But they were all out of plywood.  So they angled our shovel over it to at least warn people of the impending hole of doom.

The idea was that the other plumber would be out at any moment to then replace the broken piece of pipe (which was removed by the hole diggers).

He never showed.

We made calls.

We were told he’d try to get out there that evening, but really, it was no problem for us to use the water in the house, the ground would absorb everything that went down the drain.  My husband was on the phone with people, incredulously saying “So he’s okay with human excrement in an open hole in our front yard?”

Meanwhile I’m all “But there’s a HOLE at the end of our sidewalk!  Why isn’t anyone concerned about that?”  Because with our dumb luck, some UPS driver will miss the glaring danger warning that is a freaking shovel and injure himself in the hole and sue us instead of the jackwagons who opened up a hole in our yard and then left it.

And because this all wasn’t gross enough, Maura took it upon herself to poop.  And I remembered that she ate half a tray of melon and grapes the day before.  And the girl who never ever flushes decided to flush.

So now it’s a poop hole.

Because human excrement doesn’t get absorbed by the ground.

I woke up this morning not knowing what day it was.  Because every day has become the same.  Wake up, wait for plumbers, end day in frustration and sewage.  And now holes.  And jokes on my Facebook about Taco Bell and pooping directly into said hole.

To sum up – shit’s gotten really real at my house.  In a way even I couldn’t dream up.

It's like a water HELL!

It’s like a water feature…in HELL!



8 Responses to “Sewergate – Day 48217346”

  1. Wendy May 13, 2015 at 11:42 am #

    That’s terrible! Do they have a “News on your side” segment on TV? I would call them and get them to get that plumber out immediately.

  2. franhunne4u May 13, 2015 at 11:51 am #

    Oh my – just be glad there is no fan down in the hole 😉 *just to add to the cheap jokes*

    • phoebz4 May 13, 2015 at 12:16 pm #

      It wafts on its very own nicely. Thank God it’s been cool and cloudy out the last couple of days, lol!

      • franhunne4u May 13, 2015 at 1:00 pm #

        I was thinking along the lines “when the shi. hits the fan” …

      • phoebz4 May 13, 2015 at 1:03 pm #


      • franhunne4u May 13, 2015 at 1:13 pm #

        One of the sayings I always wanted to use in a literal sense. Like writing in connection to pregnancy about “when push comes to shove” 😉

  3. saracvt May 13, 2015 at 2:13 pm #

    As I read your own personal American Horror Story, I just kept thinking, “You ever heard of the ancient Chinese saying ‘May you live in interesting times’? It wasn’t a blessing. It was a curse.”

    And, also, is this yahoo plumber licensed & bonded? Cuz he sure don’t ACT like it, & if not, you can sue & get all your money back. But I dunno, you may not have legal standing to sue, as you don’t own the house (an addiction to court shows–my own personal vice–has taught me this).


  1. Sewergate – The Continuing Story | Herding Cats - May 15, 2015

    […] I left you with the glorious mental images of a hole of poop in my front yard.  However, the angels smiled upon me, and a man appeared in a white van in my […]

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