Yesterday we had…an incident…with Maura getting into stuff she shouldn’t have. Which has now once again made me dream of having a wall of cabinetry in my house where I can lock everything up in. Yes, a wall of cupboards, with locks, so I can keep all the stuff I don’t want Maura getting into in the locked cupboards.
Our current house has loads of storage, even built-ins, and I can take advantage of that. But I’m finding that even the highest of shelf no longer works for us, because if I can reach it, so can she. So locks it is, because she can’t manage locks.
However, at her IEP last spring, her teacher was talking about the OT at the middle school, and how she has all these fabulous boards with multiple different locking systems that are great fine motor skill practice and I was all “OMG NO! WHY GOD? NO!”
Teacher was waxing fondly over this OT having all the lock manipulators that can teach kids how to open stuff, and I was still “NO GOD NO! WHY DO YOU HATE ME? FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, DON’T TEACH HER HOW TO UNLOCK THINGS!!!”
What I really said was “Can we write in the IEP that I don’t want Maura learning how to unlock things?”
The teacher eyed me. “Oh?”
Insert lengthy explanation of how locked cabinets are my final frontier. They don’t make baby-proofing stuff for people who are the size of small adults. I can’t just get a velcro tab to put on a door to keep Maura out of something, she’ll force it open with Hulk-like determination.
I need to be able to have locks in the house. I like to be able to sleep at night knowing she’s not painting her nails and my couch at the same time. Or cutting her hair. Again. Or cutting my hair. I need a place to hide matches! For the love of Peter, Paul, and Mary, don’t teach her how to open locks and such. Once she can do that, our next dream home will just be a big padded room.