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Last night while crocheting…

17 Jan

My friend came over yesterday to knit. I crocheted. I showed her the big box of yarn I got for my 2016 temperature afghan – version 2.0. Because I started one, but found another pattern I liked more, which required different yarn and well, yes, I have a problem

However, I now have spare cheap yarn to throw at Maura, as she loves to play with yarn too.

Anyhoo, I’m crocheting away, trying to catch up, as my friend (not Jen, Jenn, or Jennifer) is working on her own knitting project. Basically, we sat across from each other, doing things that mystified ourselves – I’m impressed with her double-knitting, she is trying to figure out my witchcraftery with a crochet hook.

As we chat about life and stuff, all of a sudden, my friend says “Um, what is that over there?”

I’m all “Huh?”

“Over there, in that corner.”

I get up and go around the table – ours is an open plan living/dining room, and the corner of which she spoke of was holding a square pouf that had sprung a leak, and an Ikea bag.

“Is that a snake?” she says suddenly.

I immediately teleport twenty feet in reverse. My brain starts running 30 miles a second – a snake? What kind? OMG, it’s probably poisonous, because I’ve never seen a harmless snake here, OMG, how the hell do we get a snake out of here? What if it hides?

“Just kidding.” she says.

Because she’s horrible. It’s why I like her.

“There is something over there though, I heard something.”

Now my brain is all “What if it’s a mouse? I hate mice.” My friend goes over, lifts the Ikea bag off the pouf…and does find a rodent-sized creature. However, it’s our rodent-sized creature. as Sky the Tiny Wonder burrowed up onto the pouf under the Ikea bag, making all sorts of rustling noises along the way.

This led to me telling her how much I hate mice, how one jumped out at me when I was 12 and opening a kitchen drawer, how my mom then called the exterminator and had to explain that the chemicals he used needed to be safe for our dog and two cats (all three obviously useless, as the mice would cross in front of the sleeping dog to eat out of his food bowl), and how the cat we had used to actually catch mice.

“Oh God, the cat didn’t bring you the mice, did he?” my friend asked.

“No…but…OMG! I can’t believe I forgot about this!”

See, our house in Michigan doubled as a wildlife refuge. I watched a snake crawl up between the siding and the foundation of the house one day. We had a toad living next to the back door. We had bats fly through on multiple occasions. Moles terrorized our front yard. We also had mice, which, after everything else, didn’t seem to big of a deal. Not after bats. And the cat would take care of them, which would leave me going “EW!” and Josh going “Good cat! Earn your keep!”

But one morning, early morning because these things always happen at the crack of stupid, little boy Sean entered our room. He was in second or third grade. I woke up instantly.

“What’s up Sean?”

“I think the cat killed a mouse.”

I start nudging Josh, because I don’t deal with dead mice, especially not half-asleep.

“Where’s the mouse Sean?” I asked

“Well, it was in the bathroom…” he began.

And I looked at my son. My son, who’s carrying something shrouded in toilet paper in his hands.

“OH MY GOD ARE YOU HOLDING IT?”

Josh jumped out of bed as Sean did the “yeah why?” oblivious boy thing, and I did the “ew gross” mom thing. “Take that into the bathroom, put it in the trash.” Josh directed.

“AND WASH YOUR HANDS REALLY GOOD. TWICE!” I shouted.

So yeah, I don’t deal well with critters in my house. I’m so happy I have a husband and sons who do.

Oh, the things I find in my dishwasher!

neither a rodent or a snake

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4 Responses to “Last night while crocheting…”

  1. saracvt January 17, 2016 at 4:44 pm #

    Actually, there are harmless snakes in Washington–tons of ’em. If you’re familiar with garter snakes, they slither around here too. If not, they’re a small skinny (thinner than most) dark brown snake with a yellow stripe along the spine. I always thought they were adorable & often caught them when I lived near Seattle. You’d often see them as roadkill, unfortunately. Now that I think of it, there didn’t seem to be any on the eastern side of Washington–too dry for them, I guess, since they are not a desert snake. But totally harmless, & good for your garden, as they eat small rodents who might otherwise patronize your plants.

  2. AnneMarie January 17, 2016 at 5:05 pm #

    Ugh, I would FREAK OUT TO AN EXTREME if someone walked up to me with a dead mouse shrouded in toilet paper!! Once, when I was little, my family had a mouse that we tried to catch. One day, it got the poison, and it lay curled up-dead-on the bath towel/floormat in the bathroom. I was okay with that; we didn’t have to touch it, and it looked cute-but holding a dead mouse? Eww…that’s super gross.

    I also think it’s cool that you and your friend had a yarn get-together! Yarn is great!!!! I grew up knitting and love it. A couple summers ago, I taught myself how to crochet (using internet tutorials) because I found crochet patterns for mini-Doctor Who figures. Those first days of crocheting were so, so rough! My hands hurt like crazy, because the movements for knitting are different from the hand movements for crocheting! After a while, I got used to it, and I like crocheting. Now, I like to knit for items like hats & scarves, but I find crocheting much easier when I want to make smaller items, like stuffed animals (or stuffed Millennium Falcons, or stuffed Mario Mushrooms) 🙂

  3. Renee Anne January 17, 2016 at 8:40 pm #

    I don’t do dead things, either. We have wildlife in our urban backyard (San Francisco): raccoons, swamp rats (I don’t know what they are), snakes, possums, skunks, and other things like frogs and, apparently mice.

    I don’t necessarily mind the live big wildlife (possums, raccoons, etc.) or the frogs…anything else, no thank you very much I’ll be going now.

    One day, I was emptying out old water from Puppy’s water dish and out floated a very dead frog. Ew. I used the hose and sprayed it into the bushes.

    A different day, Little Man comes up to the back door, holding a dead mouse by the tail. Ew ew ew. No no no no no no. I made him wash his hands about six times with lots of soap, and then I couldn’t get the damn thing to move…I tried the hose, the leaf blower….could not get it to move and Husband had to do it when he got home (thank Bob, though he doesn’t really do dead things either).

    ::sigh:: Ick.

  4. franhunne4u January 18, 2016 at 1:36 am #

    You are all a little squeamish, when it comes to dead mice. I just grabbed them at their tails, threw them into the bin, when our cat was not interested – and yes, I washed my hands. Once.
    You all pet your dogs and cats – which lick their fur – with the same tongue they used for cleaning their bums … ever thought about that? Some even delight in the “kisses” from dogs or cats. Or do not even try to stop the cats from walking on counter and tables – with feet that stood in the cat toilet.
    To throw away a dead mice is not any more gross than that.

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