One reader – Beebe – couldn’t figure out how to leave comments on today’s blog post – The four types of people you’ll meet on “Spread the Word to End the Word” Day – an #rword post
Beebe left it elsewhere on my blog, but since they felt their words were so very important to leave me that they were forced to search out another blog post to leave their commentary on, I feel like I should also share, so the whole world can see and learn.
And now, Beebe’s Words of Wisdom –
“Well, this seems to be YOUR problem in that you cannot or will not accept your child is retarded – literally. It obviously hurts you to hear it spoken even when the reference is not about your kid. So it seems the problem is not in other people and how they talk, but with you.
Your issue is that you want other people to stop hurting you. Good luck with that. More of your issue is to make people stop hurting your kid. Good luck with that too.
Here’s the way your generation is dealing with this problem (not just the use of words, but anything that makes you feel lower than someone else): 1) make it politically incorrect to categorize or define other people in the way you are wounded, no matter the truth of it, and shame others when they do so; 2) use social media to stand on a soapbox and browbeat others into accepting your point of view; 3) rain a hail of vicious comments and self righteous diatribe against anyone who disagrees with you.
Here’s the way people in former generations dealt with this problem: 1) rose above it and realized name calling is just name calling (sticks and stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me); 2) taught their children people who used names and categories to diminish the worth of others are themselves very flawed, but you should not imitate them; 3) denying what you ARE in reality does not work, (if you are the mother of a retarded child, that is a fact) so it’s best to ignore those who would marginalize you and live your own life in a most honorable and exemplary way, rising above pettiness and judgement of others. Since you know what it is to be categorized and shamed by a word, to call out others on that is doing to them what they do to you, and the self righteousness is just perpetrating and justifying the same action by yourself.
Do some self reflection on how much having a retarded child hurts you, and realize you are just angry at the world for seeing what you would rather not. Because being the source of retardation makes you flawed too. (Shock!!! OH NO!!)
I know your generation hates hard words of wisdom, so take it or leave it. But just like facing there’s a leak in the roof and it needs to be fixed, denial is not going to make it all go away, and blaming and shaming others isn’t either. Reality is reality. It’s not other people’s comments that are causing your pain. It’s your sorrow at the situation you are in, and your child’s condition.”
I do wonder…how old do you think I am, with all your talk of “Your Generation”? Also, have you read any other of my blog posts? Seriously curious about that one. I do appreciate you taking time out of what must be a busy day for you to share your knowledge and insights with me. I didn’t know I was upset by having a retarded daughter. I need to realize that. And the fact that I am flawed. *sigh* I have a lot of accepting to do. Maybe you can help me love myself and my daughter more…by coming over and cleaning my kitchen while I reflect quietly upon your words?