Things I’ve said this week-ish

On the phone with one of the Jennifers, Maura came into the room.


“No Maura.”

I keep talking on the phone.


“No Maura. I don’t care if you’re wearing goggles, we’re not doing a bath right now.”

My friend insisted on picture proof.

Like I can make this up.
Like I can make this up.


Maura came to me, asking me to fix her socks. I am happy to help, because there’s nothing worse than wrinkly socks.

“Thanks Mom.” she says, then calls out, as if calling one of the dogs “Shooes! SHOOOOES! Where are you?”

“Honey, they’re not going to come to you when called. You have to go get them.”


I know, she’s onto something. Life would be much easier if shoes just came to your feet when called.


Last night, I asked Sean to put away the stuff on the table.

Then I heard Maura let out the most pathetic cry and “nooo….oo..o..” before going sonic, because the upper respiratory plague she’s dealing with has caused her to lose her voice.

I step around the corner to see what the big deal is. Sean is just holding the Sprite bottle. Maura’s most cherished Sprite bottle. As he laughs at his poor sick voiceless sister.

“Dude, you made her go sonic.” I stated.

“I didn’t know a person could make noises like that.” he replied.

Then we gave Maura back the Sprite, calmed the dogs down (because they went running when Maura went sonic) and carried on with life.


On the phone with my friend again. Her child asks for “Max and Ruby”.

Me – “You know Max probably has an IEP. He has to have some sort of diagnosis with a lot of letters.”

My friend has decided I should write Max an IEP. But we’re not sure if it would end up hilarious, or really offensive. “Max will use his words 3 out of 5 times” “Max will have at least 30 to 60 minutes of speech therapy each week.” “Max will not ruin Ruby’s plan 2 out of 5 times.”  “IEP not signed by parents because they don’t seem to exist.”

*note – we’re both moms of kids with IEPs. Please don’t stone us for our weird warped sense of humor.