To the women over forty and the twenty-somethings who write about them

23 May

I’m officially in my forties. I’m surrounded by teenagers. And I’m tired of fetuses on the internet telling me what to do.

The other day, there was some slideshow on the internet, yet another “Things Women Shouldn’t Do After 30”.

One of the things? Wear big hoop earrings.

My response? A two fingered salute to the screen.

Seriously, fuck you and your “You’re too old for hoop earrings” noise. I’ve had a life-long love of hoop earrings. I just bought a pair of big-ass, to the shoulder, silver hoops. Because my inner free spirit pretends she’s a gypsy, hoop earrings, bangles, and all.

And yet some woman-child who thinks she’s all grown up is going to tell me what I can’t wear anymore because I’m too old?

Seriously – fuck that noise.

It’s partially because I am “old” that I’ve stopped caring about what’s socially acceptable for me to do or wear. I got my first tattoo at forty. This year, I had my hair dyed teal. And you know what? It looks fantastic. My favorite pair of shoes are my Doc Marten boots, and I dare any child on the internet who’s probably younger than some of the underwear I own to try to tell me I can no longer wear them.

You know what women shouldn’t do after the age of 30? They shouldn’t tell other women what they can and can’t do. They shouldn’t accept the bullshit that’s piled onto them by other women. They shouldn’t try to repress their true selves to fit into societal standards. They shouldn’t listen to anyone who says “You can’t do that.” They shouldn’t let complete strangers with less life experience then they have bully them into a corner.

How are we supposed to tell our daughters they can grow up to be whatever they want to be if we bow to the pressures of toddlers on the internet telling us we can’t wear hoop earrings after our thirtieth birthday?

Nope. Sorry. I reject your standards of how a woman over thirty should dress, should act, should style herself. I was never one for peer pressure, not before my thirties, and even moreso after my thirties.

Listen missy, here’s the deal. You’re too young to tell me what to do. Survive to my age and then you can make your own rules. Meanwhile, I’ll be wearing any length skirt I damn well please with my old Converse sneakers.

And for the record, you know who compliments my teal hair the most?

Females under thirty.

Even they aren’t buying this line of bullshit.



Have you shared this post? Awesome! But I’d rather you share this more sobering post with a horrifying statistic. 83% of women with disabilities will experience sexual assault in their lifetime. Most people don’t know that. While we’re being kick-ass in our style choices, let’s be bad-ass about spreading awareness too. Go share that post as well. Let’s bring this shameful statistic into the light, and keep looking out for each other.


296 Responses to “To the women over forty and the twenty-somethings who write about them”

  1. Susan Holmes May 23, 2016 at 10:27 am #

    When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
    With a red hat which doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit me.
    And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
    And satin sandals, and say we’ve no money for butter.
    I shall sit down on the pavement when I’m tired
    And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
    And run my stick along the public railings
    And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
    I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
    And pick flowers in other people’s gardens
    And learn to spit.

    You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
    And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
    Or only bread and pickle for a week
    And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.

    But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
    And pay our rent and not swear in the street
    And set a good example for the children.
    We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

    But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
    So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
    When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.
    Jenny Joseph

    • Annie Anderson May 27, 2016 at 6:44 pm #

      I had purple hair when I was 50.

      • Topaz Chanteuse May 28, 2016 at 11:58 am #

        I’ve been wearing purple all my life. I now have purple hair. I am 82 and loving it.

      • Grainia May 28, 2016 at 2:17 pm #

        Mine was purple, green, and red in my 50s.

      • refchef May 30, 2016 at 4:27 pm #

        Got my 1st tattoo at 58 and had rainbow hair (seriously, several colors at one time) at 59. Haven’t decided whether to “mark” my 60th year yet. I’ve still got a few months left to decide.

      • Lori June 3, 2016 at 12:11 am #

        Me too!

    • Becky Laliberte May 27, 2016 at 10:15 pm #

      I love this poem. I can’t wait to wear purple…

      • Wendy May 31, 2016 at 8:45 am #

        Life is short…do it now.

    • Sharon May 27, 2016 at 11:59 pm #

      I’m the opposite. I had the wildest youth and did the craziest things and have no desire whatsoever to go back to those days… the older I get (I’m 64), the quieter and I like it that way! No desire whatsoever for purple hair, tattoos, or rampant sex with toyboys!

      • Lene May 28, 2016 at 6:44 am #

        But isn’t it lovely that that’s your choice, and that nobody should tell you to do it differently? Because that’s what the world supposedly expects of you? =) I’m 40. I also don’t desire purple clothes 😉 Done that, enjoyed it at the time, but if I woke up tomorrow and wanted teal hair, I’d do it… come to think of it. I might want teal hair…

      • Lamaha May 29, 2016 at 11:26 pm #

        Lene, but I don’t do it differently. I lead a quiet, externally conventional life. The poem seems to be saying I’m doing it wrong, that I’m boring. Which I might very well be to others, but I’ve had such an extraordinarily adventurous life I truly don’t care about being externally boring. The main thing is that I’m not bored, isn’t it!

      • refchef May 30, 2016 at 4:33 pm #

        My youth and young adulthood were great fun but I was interested in things other than hair color and tattoos. Which is not to say I didn’t party… My adult career path required more conformity than I liked, but that was fine. Retirement allows me to do whatever I feel like doing without any particular repercussions. And being a Cool Old Lady has always been a particular goal.

      • Debbie June 1, 2016 at 1:36 pm #

        I probably agree but whatever floats your boat, right?

    • teleriferchnyfain May 30, 2016 at 10:58 pm #

      Yeppers. What REALLY irks me about stupidity like this – these infants can’t even tell how old people really are. I was in a beledi (belly dance) troupe in my late 30s until early 50s, & taught dance for 20 years. I remember having conversations with a couple of the infants I taught about how they thought it so obscene to see these ‘old’ dancers – I’d ask who said dancers were & invariably they’d pick women who WEREN’T nearly as old as these girls thought, but who had some weight on them. Always my devote pleasure to shut the little dears up by stating my age, and other celebrated ‘old’ dancers LOL Idiots.

      • Majahdancer June 8, 2016 at 3:14 pm #

        I, too, am a 50-something belly dancer. I teach and perform, and yes, I’m rounder now than I once was, but the wisdom we wear as mature women is a beautiful thing to see. I’d much rather watch a seasoned dancer who understands what it means to dance in “Tarab” than a younger woman who has no understanding of the meaning of the word. I wear what I want, I make no apologies.

    • cpthegreat1 May 31, 2016 at 8:55 am #

      That’s on my wall. I’m 72, my mom is 96 and she does wear purple.

      • SaKita November 7, 2016 at 9:44 pm #


    • lago May 31, 2016 at 11:38 am #

      40 too old. Ha ha your kidding me! I’m 55 and still wearing my Harley Davidson Moto jacket (husband bought when I was 38). My mom told me I was too old to wear that at 40. I bought my hoop earrings when I was in my 40’s.

      If it looks good you can wear it. I’m in retail and sell jeans/clothes. Women about my age felt that her shorts were too short. She had great legs and her butt wasn’t hanging out. Told her she looked totally appropriate.

      You know in your heart was works for you and what doesn’t. Age isn’t the best thermometer to figure that out.

    • zan June 2, 2016 at 7:00 am #

      At 62, purple is my favorite color. Echoed by my purple-centric custom Converse. Life is good. 🙂

    • Kelsey June 4, 2016 at 7:25 am #

      I love this!

    • bookreviewsbykatblog - Just my Reviews April 13, 2017 at 8:11 pm #

      I have purple, pink and blue streaks at the minute – I don’t care who doesn’t like it, I do, I got my first tattoo at 35, my next at 50, I plan on another, but finding an artist I trust is hard… may have to wait till my next holiday home to the uk for ‘Jim’ to do it 😉

    • Mary Lugo June 12, 2017 at 2:37 pm #

      I love your post! I am a WAY bit over 40 and I thought it interesting that in response to the post of What a Woman should not wear etc. Another post came up of a photo composition of women doing exactly that and looking incredible. I hate that the make up counter tries to put dull colors on me. Give me bright lipstick and shiny shadows! My Chucks are on my feet, and I’m dancing Hip Hop. 🙂

    • Tonicakes June 13, 2017 at 11:00 am #

      I wonder how many of these articles were written by young women who grew up with mothets trying to dress like them to “be the cool mom” and fit in with the kids? I know my sister did and it was traumatizing to her kids lol.

  2. Darcy Pennington Arnold May 23, 2016 at 10:33 am #

    I LOVE this, Phoebe!!! I’m 65 and wanting to have some purple put in my hair. You’ve almost given me the courage. You GO woman!

    • phoebz4 May 23, 2016 at 10:41 am #

      Seriously. Get the purple. It’s only hair, if you don’t like it, you can change it. But you won’t know if you don’t go for it.

      • Jaymee Workman May 27, 2016 at 10:46 am #

        I have been debating this for a while ( female,55) Thank you for the inspiration!!! Not only am I going purple, I will be adding some cotton-candy highlights!!!!.

    • noturavggeek May 23, 2016 at 10:45 am #

      Please do it! Because in the end it’s just hair and people get such joy seeing the funky colors! I got compliments from toddlers to Seniors. And if someone doesn’t like it, well then too bad!

      • refchef May 30, 2016 at 4:36 pm #

        I agree!! People do seem to enjoy my wacky purple hair. I get lots of compliments on mine — and I always make sure to give full credit to my hair dresser.

    • franhunne4u May 23, 2016 at 10:52 am #

      Do it, now – the sooner the better. If you absolutely hate it afterwards at least you KNOW that then for sure! And you can always get a very short hair cut when the first grows out – or you can dye it over with something darker.

    • Cindy Bischoff May 27, 2016 at 7:34 am #

      Do it! Life is far to short to give a shit what ANYBODY else thinks!

      I read this somewhere – wish I could remember where, so I could give credit where credit is due, but suffice to say, it isn’t mine…

      Women in their 20’s care about what people think of them.
      Once women reach their 40’s they don’t care what anybody thinks of them.
      By the time women reach their 60’s they realize nobody’s actually been thinking about them at all, and are finally free to live life authentically.

      Whatever it is you want to do, whether it’s a tattoo, or purple hair, Do it now!!!


      • Thia M. May 27, 2016 at 3:23 pm #

        Get the purple hair. One of my heroes is a woman named Betty. She’s at least 65 if not older. Every time I see her, her short, spikey hair is highlighted with a new color. Hot pink, dark purple, blue, green. She dresses weird and wonderful and her life is filled with joy. Go get your purple hair!

    • Jenn Sweeney May 27, 2016 at 1:31 pm #

      Do it do it do it do it. Purple hair rocks. I had it for a while too.

    • Barbara Johnson May 27, 2016 at 2:27 pm #

      Let me give you another push. I’m 61 and wear blue hair extensions my girls gave me. Do it!

      • phoebz4 May 27, 2016 at 2:27 pm #

        You can find them on Etsy 😉

    • Marcia May 27, 2016 at 6:30 pm #

      Do it!!!! I can’t because work doesn’t allow it. But they love my fro so I can’t complain. Btw, I’m 51 🙂

    • Beverly Chadwick May 27, 2016 at 11:11 pm #

      PLEASE dye your hair purple! I’m 62 and I do. 😀

    • cosmiquemuffin May 28, 2016 at 9:00 am #

      Do it! I’m 53, put purple in, and I freakin love it. DO IT

    • Jennifer Bruce May 29, 2016 at 8:48 am #

      Do it!

      • Janet Christian May 29, 2016 at 9:17 am #

        Do it! The WORST that happens is you don’t like it and dye it again. I LOVE my highlights. If I could post a pic here I would. Life is WAY too short to be timid or cautious. Go for it.

  3. kathyradigan May 23, 2016 at 10:37 am #

    Amen and sing it sister!! I turned 50 this year and the number one thing I wear is my, I don’t care what you think attitude!! It’s my favorite possession! Lol!

    • Gravelg43 May 29, 2016 at 1:31 pm #

      You GO, Girl! Wear that attitude into Eternity💖💗👍👍👌! It’s a short trip thru and it’s a one way ticket. I’m 73 and thinking of getting a small harp tattooed oon top of my foot. It just might keep the embalmers entertained 😎

      • JoAnna May 29, 2016 at 11:49 pm #

        Oh Yes! Get the tattoo. I got my first one at 35. I had always wanted to get one but thought it really wasn’t for me, that I wasn’t badass enough. I have 4 now and I’m pushing 50. I want more.
        I have 2 points of advice to offer…. First take your time!! There is no hurry. Research and ask for recommendations. Then take the list of artist and look at their look books. Notice their style of tattooing. It’s hard when you are excited and ready, but you really want to find someone who’s style will match what you want. You don’t want a new skool artist to do a portrait or visa versa. Also you want to make sure you click with your artist.
        Secondly, make sure you Love the tat you pick. Your skin is personal and you don’t want to have to get a cover up because you really don’t like the art. You are the one who will live with it forever. Be true to yourself.

  4. noturavggeek May 23, 2016 at 10:44 am #

    Ugh thank you for this! I’m in my early 30s and get bombarded with this crap based on age, size, what have you. Who cares?!

    When I was 18, I was in an airport and saw this woman, and I honestly couldn’t guess how old she was, but she’d be considered “Senior”. And she had the most beautiful easter egg blue hair that completely matched this gorgeous tailored suit she was wearing (a la Jackie O). I remember looking at my Mom and saying “I want to be her when I grow up”.

    As I’ve gotten older, acquired the tattoos, peacock colored hair, embraced my geekiness and wear my geek-wear and Chucks with pride I’ve come to realize that the biggest haters are the ones that don’t have the courage to do it themselves.

    • Erica Abner Stark May 27, 2016 at 1:27 pm #

      “… the biggest haters are the ones that don’t have the courage to do it themselves.”
      Say it again, louder this time, for the ones in the back! 🙂

    • SunKrux June 2, 2016 at 4:08 am #

      Yes! That’s it, isn’t it. People who want to have ‘purple’ hair but are too afraid of what others will say about them are the ones telling others they shouldn’t do it. Fuck ’em I say! Got my first tattoo at 47 and just dyed my hair in the “oil slick” style. If people don’t like the way I look, they can look the other way and kiss my ass.

  5. franhunne4u May 23, 2016 at 10:53 am #

    You cannot please everyone, so at least please yourself!

  6. bluerosegirl08 May 23, 2016 at 10:57 am #

    I just turned 31 Friday and I say rock your teal hair, silver hoops and boots girl. Everybody else can choke on their opinions.

  7. Clarett May 23, 2016 at 11:21 am #

    I am going to be 70 soon and wear and do what I please. Life is too short not to be the person I was meant to be.

  8. Dipika Rana May 23, 2016 at 11:30 am #

    My favorite part of turning 40+ is I no longer gives damn about being proper! I embrace the poem I shall wear purple when I’m old. ( I’ve also given up on not swearing in front of the kids but at least my favorite swear words are only crap and shit) (mainly cuz there is so much of that in the world😜)

    • saracvt May 23, 2016 at 11:45 am #

      I swear in front of my kids–but in Sanskrit. I used to swear in Mandarin, but my husband reasonably pointed out that I might encounter someone who knew what I was saying. I highly doubt anyone is speaking Sanskrit! And you can find all the words on Google Translate. Really.

  9. Tina May 23, 2016 at 11:44 am #

    Gasp! I turned 42 on April 12th and gave birth on April 18th 2016. Is that taboo too? Lol!

    • phoebz4 May 23, 2016 at 11:45 am #

      Probably, what with that advanced maternal age and all.

    • J. May 26, 2016 at 4:24 pm #

      You are exactly two days older than me and I don’t feel fifteen years younger than I am. I like being 42.

      And now I even mix socks.

      • Tracie_Rathsack May 30, 2016 at 5:53 pm #

        I NEVER wear matching socks, sometimes no go commando, and I shave, dye and tattoo all kinds of things.

        Born in 73!

        I also model!

    • punkbunnie May 28, 2016 at 12:18 pm #

      I had my youngest in 2013 I was 44. Now I chase a preschooler around in my Chucks, with my tattoos. Anyone who doesn’t like it can STFU. I wasn’t put here to please you.

    • cpthegreat1 May 31, 2016 at 8:59 am #

      My daughter had her first child at 40 and #2 at 42. No, it’s not taboo!

    • Sarah May 31, 2016 at 9:46 pm #

      I’m 41 and will be giving birth in about 6 months. I have a huge side tattoo that I got a year ago, one on my hip and one on my foot. My hair has been many a color in this life and I pride myself on being the biggest Harry Potter geek there is…not to mention anything vampire, Joss Whedon, Post apocalyptic, Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit,or Star Wars (can’t forget Star Wars). I never “act my age” and I teach dance to toddlers, who actually think I’m pretty cool and I’m never going to change.

    • Richard Hunter June 1, 2016 at 7:46 am #

      My Mom was 40 when she had me and that was back in 1965. She also got a tattoo when she was 80. The younger(than me) people who disapproved weren’t anyone who’s opinion I valued. The ones who’s opinion did matter either thought Mom’s tattoo was cool or didn’t care one way or another.

  10. Sara May 23, 2016 at 12:23 pm #

    Oh I hear you. I’m a grad student and everyone in my program is ten years younger than me. The thing I get the most tired of is being referred to as ‘big’ by very young women and being repeatedly exposed to their ‘anyone can be thin if they have self control’ mindset. First of all, being a size 00 isn’t the end all be all. Second, I’m totally happy and healthy being a size 8/10. Sometimes I just want to shake them and be like, you have no idea what you are talking about. Wait ten or twenty years, have a couple of kids (or not) and then we can talk.

    Rock on with your bad ass self.

    • saracvt May 23, 2016 at 4:27 pm #

      They call you “big” for being a size 8/10?!? Tagaraka, I must be yuuuge to them! And c’mon–a size 00, is that not a bit ridiculous? Are you nonexistent if you wear that size? I actually saw one while shopping yesterday (I had never seen one in the wild before) & my chronically underweight 13-year-old could not have worn them. Give me a break!

    • thehereandyow June 2, 2016 at 11:50 am #

      Years ago, a much younger buddy of mine, was irritated with me because I didn’t worship Kate Moss’s physique, yet also because I wouldn’t eat a bunch of cookies at a wedding. (I had been losing post baby weight, but wasn’t seeking to be a 00.) She said I must have a body image issue, and that she (then 25) had loved her body at all sizes, and loved others of all shapes. Sounds awesome and open minded. I told her that very few people naturally have Kate Moss bodies, especially after a certain age-I wasn’t willing to deny myself to be a stick, but nor did I want to keep growing and growing with age, and it was good that she loved variety, cause, girl, when you hit whatever age, you, too, might forgo too many cookies or watch your shape change. She condemned me outright, certain that I was self-hating, and swore that when she was 22, she had chubby knees and loved them. Now that she is nearing forty, she hates her own fat ass, complains about her rolls, and hints about cocaine being her favorite weightloss regimen. Geez. So my point, youngsters, don’t judge. You really don’t know what you are talking about yet.

  11. Renee Anne May 23, 2016 at 12:27 pm #

    I’m still in my 30s (for now) and there are things that I do that make people do the dog tilt. My favorite (when my hair is longer – it’s a little too short right now): Leia Buns. Also, I wear handknit socks and my running shoes because I am a total fashion victim and I have no fucks to give. I ran out years ago.

    • Lala May 30, 2016 at 9:16 am #

      Well, you can’t just go around handing out fucks all indiscriminately. There’s a finite supply of that! Once you have no fucks left to give, that’s it, you’re done! 😀

  12. Laura May 23, 2016 at 6:02 pm #

    Can you hear my standing ovation???

    @Renee Anne “….I have no fucks to give. I ran out years ago.” I fell out of my chair!

    • Renee Anne May 29, 2016 at 2:16 pm #

      Thank you 🙂 And it’s quite true: I did run out years ago.

  13. em-i-lis May 23, 2016 at 6:28 pm #

    YASSSSSS! Woot!

  14. Kim May 23, 2016 at 8:06 pm #

    Sweet Lord above you may very well be my spirit animal. Would love to see a pic of you in your awesome teal hair and bigass hoops.

  15. Melissa May 24, 2016 at 7:24 am #

    I love this post!! I am with you all the way! I will be 50 this year and I bought my first pair of Chuck Taylor’s. I wear leggings and my chucks, and sometimes even sport a faux hawk!! I refuse to bow to society or those “fetuses” opinion of what is correct and proper for any age person to wear. I have many tattoos and will be getting more in time. Life is for living the way we want. Oh and I love the big ass hoops myself, they are my go to for when I am dressed up! 🙂

  16. Abbie May 24, 2016 at 12:25 pm #

    Bravo! The thing that bothers me the most about the younger bloggers giving advice is that they all dress the same. Hopefully by the time they are “our age” they will understand that it doesn’t matter what anyone else is wearing.

  17. Becky Hartman May 25, 2016 at 8:18 am #

    I absofuckinglutely love this! True, all true.

  18. Natika May 25, 2016 at 7:20 pm #

    As a child and teenager, I always looked up to the ladies who didn’t do what they were supposed to do in clothing or in hair or in life. Who wants to be like everyone else? Next year I’ll be 40 myself and I’ll be damned if I stop wearing my docs or take out my nose piercing or cut my hair in that “I’m past 40” short style that everyone seems to get. Ugh.

    Don’t worry about the young ‘uns though. They seem to be the most boring generation I’ve ever met. Maybe they’ll mellow out as they hit their 30s?

    I love all the comments about dying your hair purple. Funnily enough, a lot of old people in Japan have purple hair, but not actually on purpose. It’s just that the black hair dye sucks. I think it’s super cute though.

    • K Fowler May 29, 2016 at 5:32 pm #

      You know why we old women get that “I’m past 40” short style? I have short, straight, baby-fine hair. When I was younger, I spent a lot of time and money on perms and highlighting and all the rest of that stuff–most of which turned my hair to straw. Now I’m 63 and I don’t give a fuck. Every six weeks I pay a woman to whack it short again. I pay about $8 (senior discount–but I tip well). I have better things to do with my time and money than pander to what other people think my hair should look like. The only reason my hair isn’t purple is that I have zero desire to mess with touching up roots. If I could dye it purple and it would stay that way, I’d have done it years ago.

      Claiming independence from the style dictates of others means not following ANY of them–not the old, conservative ones and not the modern, look-at-rad-me ones.

      • Barbara J Bailey November 7, 2016 at 7:52 pm #

        And I’m 57 and my hair is straight and long, past the middle of my back for the same reason — it’s the lowest maintenance style that I like. . I go to the neighborhood barbershop about every two months to have a maintenance trim, and I wash it in the shower, then catch it up with a clip and go. If I want to play with it, there’s plenty to work with; if I don’t want to be bothered, out comes the clip again, or a braid, or a ponytail, or I pull it through the back of my old Frosted Flakes baseball cap. When the mood hits, I dye it (usually dark auburn or mahogany); w
        hen I get tired of doing the roots, I say, “Fuck it” and let them fly free.

        There is no One True Way to be over 40.

  19. Brithael May 25, 2016 at 9:45 pm #

    Now apply this to Larvae that tell you how to think or that you’re oppressed without facts.

  20. Sheila Gage May 26, 2016 at 7:02 am #

    Turning 50 in a couple of months and I’ve never had such a strong I DON’T CARE in my life and it’s glorious! I may actually go out and buy some big ol’ hoop earrings. I wear what I want and I wear it better than most of those “toddlers” you’re talking about. Love all the comments too! Well, most of them. I was naturally thin my entire life and to the one who actually saw a 00 in the wild…why is it okay to make fun of thin people? SaraCVT, do you think anyone wants to be a 00? Well we don’t – any more than someone wants to be “overweight.” Lift ALL body types up – you don’t have to tear one down to life another up. Once I hit my mid-40s I sized up, thankfully, but I still don’t get why someone would tear anyone down for their size, especially on a wonderful article celebrating our uniqueness and strength and ability to not give a shit. You ROCK, phoebz4!

    • saracvt May 26, 2016 at 9:15 am #

      Are you kidding me? Maybe YOU don’t want to be a size 00, but my teens & their friends see it as a life goal. And if anything, I was “making fun” of marketers who call a size “00”, (which I still contend doesn’t make logical sense), not the ones who wear it. I am quite aware of different body styles & try not to judge anyone based on appearance.

      But I’m sorry if you were offended. That was never my intent.

      • scottishlass10 May 26, 2016 at 4:57 pm #

        Oh I see what you’re saying! Yes, 00 did seem demeaning, even at the time. When I finally made a “real size” in my 40s we went out and celebrated. Yeah, I’m sorry for the knee-jerk – I’m to the point lately that if one more person tells someone thin to EAT A BURGER and think it’s funny, I’ll lose it. And now, with some countries banning thin people from being models and skinny-shaming memes, I just don’t even know anymore. Sorry!

      • Sunny May 29, 2016 at 1:58 pm #

        Sheila I was super skinny most of my life too and heard every skinny joke in the book. Like “turn sideways, stick out your tongue and you look like a zipper” to asking my husband if he had to “shake out the covers in the morning to find me”.

        But I still agree with Saracvt. We should not be featuring super skinny models or encouraging our teenage girls to ” work” at being skinny. Its not healthy and it’s not a great look either. I was thrilled when I finally started putting on enough weight to look normal. I felt better too!

        We know being too skinny is no fun but if we can’t laugh at ourselves… Anyway, better that than letting young girls think that looking like a toothpick is desirable in any way. 🙂

      • Lysana May 29, 2016 at 5:23 pm #

        Just so you understand about the bans on models below a certain size, it’s aimed at the anorexic-looking ones. The models with 1% body fat and no muscle tone to balance it. Hollow-eyed, collarbones you can cut with, whole thing. There’s slim and there’s beyond slim, and that’s what they’re trying to turn around, even a little. Seems our European friends let the heroin chic get worse on the runways than we did.

    • Sheila Gage May 31, 2016 at 1:34 pm #

      Yes I 100% agree with not making it “desirable” to look anorexic. I don’t think anyone really WANTS to look anorexic though. But in the spirit of the article, WEAR, DO and BE what you want/who you are and age should never play into that.

  21. Diana Coote May 26, 2016 at 8:43 am #

    At 42, I’m the happiest I’ve ever been; the most content and at ease with myself and my capacity to love and be loved – and be completely myself wherever I go.
    The only thing women shouldn’t wear after 50? Or 40? Or 30? Or 20?
    Clothes they’re not comfortable in.
    And we define that comfort for ourselves, don’t we?
    Ladies, rock on with your badass selfs and wear whatever the f^ck you want to wear – whether Docs and coveralls or 5″ heels and a miniskirt. Own it.
    Never mind the bollocks.

  22. Jodi May 26, 2016 at 11:26 am #

    Love this! I just turned 50 and feel the same way.

  23. Margaret May 26, 2016 at 11:34 am #

    Love this and admire everyone for doing their own thing. I just turned 63 and don’t care what anyone thinks. I have been wanting to get a cobalt streak in my hair and after reading this, I will!

  24. Stephanie Crano May 26, 2016 at 3:12 pm #

    I will be 43 in a few weeks, and I have said many, many times that when I turned 40 I turned in all my fucks. So, now I have no more to give. The last three years have been the best of my life, and I think letting go of all my attempts to fit myself into what other people thought I should be has made me better. A better mom, a better wife, a better human.

  25. Ann M Robinson May 26, 2016 at 9:31 pm #

    I’m 56, got my first tat 2 years ago. My hair is past my waist and I am always having women my age tell me that I should cut it, so it would be easier to deal with. No way! My granddaughters love playing with my hair I rock pony tails and braids. I’m a size 12 and my daughters are bigger than I am in size and height. I wear long ear rings because they are fun, the longer the better! I did the PTA/Homeroom mom thing, the Girl Scout leader, the community volunteer and neighborhood mom bit. My youngest is 26 now and it’s my time to live!

    • laurette November 6, 2016 at 4:48 am #

      I also did the whole room mom/den mother/community volunteer thing, I was PTA president at three different schools. When I was 45, my youngest moved out on his own, and I quit my job, sold everything I had, and moved to Europe. I will be 52 soon, I’ve lived in three different countries, I travel when and where I please, I recently joined a sailing crew that races around the Aegean on weekends, I wear what I want, and I’ve never felt freer or happier.

  26. Teressa Terry May 26, 2016 at 9:42 pm #

    Great article! I actually think youngsters who admonish us geezers for “appropriating” their culture and style are just pissed because they think it can’t be cool anymore if all these old people are doing it. I love to compliment kids on their hair and tats and piercings, and then watch the horror slowly creep into their faces. On the other hand, I’ve had some fantastic conversations with young teenage RPG gamers about the finer points of World of Warcraft dps, and they’ve made me their honorary Grandma.

    Life’s too short; do what you love. There are as many ways to be in this world as there are people. Why not try as many as you have time for?

    • Cathy May 31, 2016 at 1:46 pm #

      My husband and I are both in our 50’s. We too play WoW and have a blast. I have violet purple naturally curly hair, tats from the top of my shoulders to the bottom of my ass cheeks. And Guess what I started with my tats at 18 and my first hair color was Magenta at the age of 16 thanks to Sebastian Hair Products that my family’s salon carried…I also have body piercings that were done for a reason not as a fashion statement….
      I too compliment the younger generation on what they believe is original and strictly created by their generation.
      Many of the younger kids think I am awesome because I am so comfortable in my skin and with who I am…
      I do not dress, color my hair or doing anything else to please others, I do it because it pleases me.

  27. Laurel May 26, 2016 at 10:40 pm #

    Love this! I’m turning 54 next month and I have purple hair and I also wear Doc Martins or Converse.

  28. Kim Seghers May 27, 2016 at 10:03 am #

    Ha! I love this as a 48 year old mother to a six year old surrounded by 20 year old moms daily, I freakin love this!! I wear big hoops earringds, black eye liner, and bleach my hair I can care less what people think of me. You rock!!!

  29. Kathryn May 27, 2016 at 10:20 am #

    I just tell myself that if we suddenly agreed that for the most part, we look okay with our current bodies, hair, makeup and clothes…where would all the magazines and bloggers go? What would they do? I figure a lot of the young bloggers decreeing this or that wouldn’t have much to say otherwise.

    When I turned 50 it was like a switch flipped and the universe had given me a “Fuck you, I’m 50!” card for the critics. I finally felt like a real adult (in the knowledgeable & self-confident sense, not the pay bills and raise kids sense).

    “Behold! The field in which I grow my fucks. Lay thine eyes on it and thou shalt see that it is barren.”
    -favorite internet meme

  30. Melissa May 27, 2016 at 10:29 am #

    I’m 38. A couple months ago I dyed my hair bright blue. Two days ago, I changed it to purple. You know who I get the most compliments from? Women OVER 60. Women with that look on their face that tells me they would love to express themselves in the same way, but don’t want to deal with the world telling them they’re too old. You’re never too old for self-expression in whatever form you damn well please.

  31. Megan May 27, 2016 at 10:44 am #

    Hey, I’m 52 and this year I’ve been through a total peri-menopausal, spiritual, professional, full-time stepmother transition. In honor of it, and to just shed some more baggage, I shaved my head for the 5th time, and gave a donation to the St Baldrick’s Foundation in the total I saved by canceling my next salon appointment. We gotta do what we gotta do. You know who compliments my bald head the most? Younger women. Hopefully some of them get inspired to be themselves. Thanks for your amazing post.

  32. Last Hussar May 27, 2016 at 11:37 am #

    As a man over 40 allow me to applaud this post. Was it in response to that foetus Kallie something, or is there another snotty kid out their who is also a idiot.

    • phoebz4 May 27, 2016 at 12:10 pm #

      I don’t know who Kallie is, so, you know, a general note to the little whippersnappers 😉

  33. Kelli Owen May 27, 2016 at 1:16 pm #

    “My response? A two fingered salute to the screen.” I know the article, I did the exact same thing. I could have written this… thumbs up =)

  34. Erica Abner Stark May 27, 2016 at 1:45 pm #

    So much yes!!!! For those of you considering coloring your hair: if you want to do a test run, Sally Beauty Supply (and I’m sure other such stores) have liquid chalk hair coloring that is bright and bold and washes right out. Or, you can go with a brand like Ion, that washes out fairly quickly. I went purple for the first time 4 years ago, and have been a few other colors since then. Now I’m multi-colored, and change whenever I feel like it. Also, finally figured out what my first tat will be! It’s a glorious time to not have any fucks to give. =)

  35. kerryemckenna May 27, 2016 at 2:34 pm #

    There is a rediculous pressure to create content, and I, too, am tired of a majority of that insto-content being the same old chatter about women’s “rules.” I think as writers we need to challenge the younger content farmers to create something new. and some are…
    p.s. I’m also over 40 and loving the no Fs I give.

  36. fran39 May 27, 2016 at 2:59 pm #

    My mum wears converse trainers. She’s 82.

  37. Debbie Woodruff May 27, 2016 at 3:19 pm #

    At 58 I wear my hair long, am contemplating a purple streak, got my first tattoo at 45. I got my navel pierced in my 40s too, but I’ve since let it close. Not because it wasn’t appropriate for an “older” woman, but because I never liked the way it felt. I wear short shorts, run marathons, and love those wrap bracelets with motivational sayings. If I changed any of that because some youngster thought it wasn’t appropriate, then I really would be old.

  38. nenamatahari May 27, 2016 at 3:39 pm #

    Ugh! I hate when teen and 20 something little brats try to tell women older than them what to wear! What the HELL do they know? I mean really? Sit down, and shut up little girls! Cattiness is NOT cool!

  39. Cara May 27, 2016 at 5:28 pm #

    Ha I’m over forty 41 to be exact, I wear hoops big ones I also still shop at hot topic and torrid, I still buy toys that I collect wear whatever is fashionable with no age limit have and 18 yr old daughter which buy the way we share cloths and shoes etc…And the topper my boyfriend isn’t 25 yet hahaha! take that little girls….

  40. msmelissajane May 27, 2016 at 5:56 pm #

    47 next month. Tattoo as a birthday present; my sixth. My hair is purple.
    Oh, some young people think they invented rebellion, they invented fashion, they invented sex. As they age, they will discover, as we did: every year can be better than the one before, and you need listen to NO ONE who tells you what you can’t do. 💜

  41. Steven Heeter May 27, 2016 at 7:02 pm #

    Guy here so my opinion may or may not be worth reading on this subject… RIGHT ON! I’m 54 and my Wife is 50 and we both hold this same attitude. I’m gonna guess that there is a connection to folks telling us we don’t look over 50 and the fact that we don’t ACT over fifty (whatever that BS means).

  42. the author May 27, 2016 at 7:06 pm #

    I am Holly and I endorse this message … heck I could have written this message … actually … yeah … I’ll reblog this message!!

  43. Elizabeth Ann Juengling May 27, 2016 at 8:22 pm #

    I’ll be 52 next month. I was in an abusive marriage and pretty much had to keep me the real me quiet for several years. Now I have a boyfriend who’s 10 years younger, loves my older, queen-size self, and I’ve rediscovered the joy of being me! I’ve always been a rebel and it’s only getting stronger as I get older…yay!

  44. MLB May 27, 2016 at 11:38 pm #

    Exactly fabulous

  45. heynowwhatsfordinner May 28, 2016 at 12:04 am #

    “You know what women shouldn’t do after the age of 30? They shouldn’t tell other women what they can and can’t do.” THANK YOU! Rock on with your
    Docs or your Chucks or (even) your Crocs.

  46. Accidental Spacegirl May 28, 2016 at 3:04 am #

    I’m in my 40s and growing my hair back to what it was in my headbanging teen days. And I will be wearing Doctor Who related t-shirts with leggings, flared mini-skirts and knee high boots until I die. I’m too old to care what anyone else thinks of how I dress 🙂

  47. Jan Morrison May 28, 2016 at 6:21 am #

    I’m 64 and consider you 44 year olds whippersnappers! I had a lovely turquoise lock in my pure white hair. It’s gone now because I got bored with it. I wore my hair very long but got it cut as it was making me droopy looking. Clothes and hair are ornaments and fripperies for fun not to use to torture folk. The older I get the less I’m likely to eat the shit sandwiches offered by so many people. So keep on keepin’ on – let your freak flag flutter or not. Nobody’s biz but yours.

  48. Michelle May 28, 2016 at 10:25 am #

    I am 53 and I got my second tattoo in my forties right now my hair is blond red and black just a few months ago it was purple and black, and I wear what the hell ever i want I have a 33 year old daughter, a 30 year old son, a 9 year old daughter and a 12 year old grandson, and they have all been taught to be who they want to be no mater what other’s think,I wear black, purple and every other color except pink because I hate pink but that is my choise and no can tell me other wise, I have never cared what people thought of me even when I was a kid, after all as far as I know it is still a free country so I say F**K you to those who try to say what I can and can’t do at any age ;p

  49. Lee Rowan May 28, 2016 at 10:33 am #

    It never fails to amuse me how youngsters who rant ceaselessly about how terrible it is when their mothers advise them not to dress like they’re seeking employment in the porn industry turn around and try to tell women with far more life experience what they should be allowed to wear.

    Sorry, girls. If you want to flash your ass every time you bend over, no skin off my butt – and if I want to wear socks with my Birks when the weather’s cold, I will do that.

    there are SO many more important things to do in life….

    • phoebz4 May 28, 2016 at 10:51 am #

      I’m pretty sure it’s a law in the Pacific Northwest that you HAVE to wear socks with your Birks 😉

      • Lamaha May 29, 2016 at 11:08 pm #

        Ah! At last! I have always worn socks with sandals and I have always ignored those who mock (never to my face) and point. It’s a simple matter of comfort. There are days when it’s too cold for sockless sandals yet too warm for socks and shoes. Voila! Socks with sandals are perfect.
        Basically I am not into fashion and have never tried to keep up with trends, and so in my older years I am also indifferent to what others are wearing and what the trend is. I won’t be dying my hair or getting a tattoo, and I am pretty inconspicuous, appearance-wise. The way I look is not my identity. As a result I can slip by unnoticed, invisible to others. That’s fine with me.
        What makes me roll my eyes at today’s youth is their tendency to judge others on appearance alone, or on the noise they make. They seem to expect everyone else to be screaming “MEMEME”, and if not — well, BORING, or OLD. When I was young it was different. We had respect for the older generations and realised that they had mountains of experience whereas we were just starting out in life. OK, I had my rebellious phase and ignored my mother often enough, but still… we were never condescending the way I see the young behaving these days. I can’t count how many times I’ve been dismissed as being from the last century, or from the fifties, or whatever. Don’t they realised that those born in the fifties came of age in the Sixties, which was by FAR the most exhilarating and dynamic decade in memory? That it was us who paved the way for the incredible liberties they now enjoy, and that we truly broke down barriers? It seems to me that THEY are the boring, shallow ones.
        Sometimes I’d like to open my mouth and tell those whippersnappers: I’ve had more adventures, more truly extraordinary experiences, in ,y little finger than you’ve had in your entire 20 years on this earth. And when I was your age, I had already hitchhiked my way through the South American continent for a year and wandered along the Inca trail and swam in the Amazon and and and…

  50. Laura Killip May 28, 2016 at 11:09 am #

    Love it!!! Competed in my first fitness show at the age of 50, oldest on the stage and placed 2nd… 55 and still going strong…

  51. silkeeeeeereads May 28, 2016 at 11:50 am #

    I think I’m going with white and blue all around the ends. I don’t give a flying leap about younger women, or even women my age telling me I’m wrong. What’s new? I’ve been wrong all my damn life. Why should I change? Love this post

  52. Sharon Ricklin Jones May 28, 2016 at 12:16 pm #

    Several years back…someone told me my hair was too long for a woman my age…(I’ll be 65 in July)

    I grew it longer…stopped dying it…and now I get compliments from complete strangers. My favorite shoes are my RED Nikes.

    I say BITE ME to those who say we’re too old for ANYTHING we want to wear.

  53. Shala Sullivan Daniel May 28, 2016 at 12:23 pm #

    I’m turning 53 soon and Ive been wearing big ass hoops since I was thirteen! I still wear torn up denim with and without patches, still wear chunky buckle boots and even wear a bikini. I train like an assassin! Still love MMA and will continue to until my last breath. No one and I mean NO ONE will define who I am suppose to be. Girls under 30 you wish you were me.

  54. Lori Milas May 28, 2016 at 1:10 pm #

    Great article, great responses. But I take exception to the “When I am old I shall wear purple…” poem, which has been sent to me a dozen times by well-meaning people. This is to make us, once again, seem cutely old and quirky… it’s patronizing. I’m 62 and really struggling with the concept of aging. I feel young, I feel very sexual, and I feel just about as capable as I ever was. This summer I plan to finally learn to surf. And I don’t want my kids thinking that it’s ‘cute’ that mom is on a board. Or if I wear a short skirt, or hoops, to get a sympathetic nod, as though, well, she’s a little kinky for her age.
    I want ‘age’ out of the discussion. Or, if it must come in… I’d like to mention that having some maturity and years has made sex better than it ever could have been earlier in life. It’s made fun more fun. It’s made me ever so grateful for health. If I could go back to 20 or 30, I wouldn’t want to because I didn’t know nothin’ compared to now. So very grateful for the years. Why is this not sought out, and honored by that younger generation?

    • Lamaha May 29, 2016 at 11:21 pm #

      I also never liked that poem. I do wear purple, but that’s about it. I won’t be doing any of the things in the poem. It’s like all those videos of old women dressed up in crazy clothes and acting like teenagers. It seems to be saying, “look how YOUNG we are!” which isn’t the point.
      I really don’t want to be young again, I don’t want to dress young. I love being 64. I’m a different person to when I was in my twenties, a better person. I’ve grown up and I don’t have this need to be zany. I have completely different priorities and nothing to prove. I’ve had an extremely adventurous life and now is a different time, a quiet time, a time of writing books and reflecting into the mysteries of life.
      We are living in a youth-obsessed society and I have no need at all to go back there and be wild and unconventional. I find the lady in the poem a bit annoying, to tell the truth!

  55. Bunny Z May 28, 2016 at 2:15 pm #

    Honey, seems like you are really bothered by what others think and say about you and/or how you dress, accessorize, color, style, etc. If you weren’t, you wouldn’t feel the need to write an article about it.

    • phoebz4 May 28, 2016 at 2:29 pm #

      Well sweetie – I was for a while. There was a couple years I felt like I needed to accept a more mundane appearance, to dress like a Good Mom, etc.

      Luckily, I got over it. Now, I’m just annoyed at those who try to convince women to do such a thing. What I wrote, and all the comments with it, will hopefully let others know that the revolution is here, that we will wear what we want, at whatever age, it’s all cool.

  56. Jacqueline Gikow May 28, 2016 at 2:52 pm #

    My hair is purple, green and turquoise, I’m a personal trainer, Zumba instructor, and a watercolor artist, I ride a road bike on long distance tours, and I use a kick scooter to get around as well. My style is as distinct today as it has always been. I am over 69 and tired of people telling me I am in good shape for my age. Honey… I’m in good shape for any age, and probably in better shape than you. 😉

  57. Brooke May 28, 2016 at 5:17 pm #

    Preach it sister!! Glad you put this out there!!

  58. Bren May 28, 2016 at 5:20 pm #

    Amen sister! I’m pushin’ 50 and I dare some teeny bopper to tell me what I can and can’t wear. I read all these posts on fashion over 40 or makeup how to’s over 40. I call horseshit because, like I’ve been doing for over 20 some years, I set the trends, I don’t follow ’em. Give ’em hell, girl! 😉


  59. Janet May 28, 2016 at 5:43 pm #

    Thank you! For years I worked in high tech and the daily attire was jeans and a T-shirt featuring a pithy saying or defunct tech company logo. I turned 60 last year. I now wear fun, stylish dresses because I WANT TO. I highlighted my red hair with teal, cobalt blue, purple, and fuchsia. I get more compliments on my hair and clothes than I’ve received my entire life. I’m having fun. Screw the little-miss-know-it-alls — or should that be little-miss-NO-it-alls. 😉

  60. Janet Christian May 28, 2016 at 5:44 pm #

    Thank you! For years I worked in high tech and the daily attire was jeans and a T-shirt featuring a pithy saying or defunct tech company logo. I turned 60 last year. I now wear fun, stylish dresses because I WANT TO. I highlighted my red hair with teal, cobalt blue, purple, and fuchsia. I get more compliments on my hair and clothes than I’ve received my entire life. I’m having fun. Screw the little-miss-know-it-alls — or should that be little-miss-NO-it-alls. 😉

    (and if this posted twice, blame WordPress…)

  61. Daniela May 28, 2016 at 5:58 pm #

    As a 46 year old i am embarrasssed that you have to resort to swearing to get your point across. Age is just a number but class is not something earned with age -it is learned. Let’s all boost each other as fellow women (regardless of age) instead of tearing down.

    • phoebz4 May 28, 2016 at 6:26 pm #

      Swearing and tearing down are two different things. I curse because I just sometimes use colorful language. We lived in Ireland for a couple of years, and cursing isn’t the taboo thing there as it is here. It’s hard to explain, they don’t say the words as emphatically as we do. People here say “fuck!” and it’s shouted out with all the grace of a sledgehammer. Meanwhile, in Dublin, a person can say “Fucking hell.” and it’s said with the same intonations as “Oh, you are kidding me.” There’s a difference, subtleties, that are hard to explain in words.

      As for tearing down, don’t you think that maybe pointing out my choice of words is, possibly, tearing me down, as it is implying I am without class. While I do resort to swearing when I want to, I am aware of the situations where it is and is not appropriate, and promise I do not enter a Vacation Bible School full of four year olds yelling a blue streak. Nor have I ever spit on the sidewalk or taken a seat from a pregnant woman. In fact, I’m the first to offer a pregnant woman the seat on the train. Class isn’t just about the words you use, but the actions you take.

    • Go Kaleo May 28, 2016 at 7:57 pm #

      You’re simultaneously telling her she’s doing it wrong (i.e., tearing her down), and that she should boost other women.

      Nothing wrong with a good ‘fuck’ now and then, the act or the word.

    • Aelyta May 28, 2016 at 10:37 pm #

      If I’m too old to swear, somebody slaughter me now. I hope I’m 108 and swearing one day.

    • tiger66466 May 29, 2016 at 8:38 pm #

      Trying to tell another woman what to do (aka what language she uses and in what context) seems pretty classless to me. If you don’t choose to curse that’s your prerogative, but resorting to judging others for it is what’s tacky.

  62. Diane Marie May 28, 2016 at 6:38 pm #

    I love this! I had my first child at 37, got my first tattoo at 40, got my master’s degree at 43, and at 52, I listen to Shinedown, Slipknot and 21 Pilots. It’s my life to live however I want. I am just so happy to see so many women on here even older than me doing the same. Love to all of you!!

  63. Bryce Warden May 28, 2016 at 6:58 pm #

    A thousand yeses to this! Bought my first pair of converse a month ago. Will be 48 next week. I’ve had pink hair but that was brief. I’ll wear what I want.

  64. Anne Gregson May 28, 2016 at 7:21 pm #

    I’m 62 and I say, “Fuck yeah. Don’t tell me what to do. You haven’t earned the right.:”

  65. Hope Childress Neudert May 28, 2016 at 9:28 pm #

    At 38 I have to say this is the most empowering thing I have read on the internet in a good long while. I have never understood the concept of “dressing your age” or “acting your age” I never understood how you could act a number.. it’s a number! I shop at the “teen type” stores when I find something I like and fits. There are three things I ask myself 1) Can I afford it 2) Does it fit and 3) do I love it. If the answer to all three is yes I usually get it. I collect stuffed animals, comic books, and all things geek. I plan on my first tattoo when I hit my weight loss goal. I have been feeling bad about myself lately but you have all convinced me I have sooooo much to look forward to!

  66. Erika May 29, 2016 at 1:18 am #

    I am 49 years old and refuse to wear what I am reading online is told that women over 40 should wear. I am tired of reading how you have to cut your hair. I love my hair and refuse to cut it short short. I still love heavy metal music and I can listen to other music as well. I still wear Rock tshirts on occasion. I am happy how I am. Loved this article. Teal is a beautiful color. Just wanted to put that in.

  67. zombyz1 May 29, 2016 at 2:56 am #

    I am 55 and I wear WETF I want. I wear leggings and 6 inch still erosion. I wear eyeliner and I wear eyeshadow and I wear my hair what color and however I want it. I wear hoop earrings snd lots of bling. Not everyone ages the same. Conformity is for memory foam mattresses. If you don’t like it don’t look. What other people think of me is none of my business.

    • zombyz1 May 29, 2016 at 3:13 am #

      6 inch stilleto heels.* New phone, 3 days out of the box it’s still learning. 😜

      • tiger66466t May 29, 2016 at 8:33 pm #

        Still erosion = stiletto made me laugh really hard. Autocorrects can be oh so awesome!

  68. autismamazon May 29, 2016 at 3:50 am #

    I’m 45 and before having my autistic son I was very conservative, very worried about ‘fitting in’. One of the positives of having a child with autism is that all my time, energy and concern goes into him, he’s also shown me a whole new way of looking at life – I don’t give a damn anymore about what other people think. As a result of this I’ve even been known to visit the local supermarket in full Black Canary or Harley Quinn cosplay outfits and do you know what? All the kids in there LOVED it, I’d got them searching the freezer section for Mr Freeze as he’d escaped from Arkham!

  69. Sheryl May 29, 2016 at 7:34 am #

    It all comes down to “You only have one life! Live it!”. I’ve always been told I have a weird dress sense & way of thinking. I’m 46… not changing anytime soon. Funny thing is, people gravitate naturally to that & those who are their own people. Do what feels right to you and do it well. If you aren’t hurting anyone, including yourself, I say go out & DO IT!

  70. Lauren Dimet Waters May 29, 2016 at 7:34 am #

    AMEN to you! Preach on! That is why why my co-founder and I started our fashion, beauty and lifestyle site last year. It’s written by two women in their late 40’s and early 50’s. We were sick of 20-somethings either pushing their hideous style on us and/or telling US what to wear. We say push the envelope, wear what makes YOU feel confident! That is ALWAYS in style. I attend a lot of beauty press events for anti-aging products and I laugh inside when I see a blogger in her 20’s. I think, how the hell can she write about these products accurately? She can’t. I’m sharing your post!

  71. Alternative Chat May 29, 2016 at 8:39 am #

    I’ll be 50 this year, and a month ago I started deadlifting at the Gym.

    Basically, you should do whatever the fuck you need to be happy.

    Good for you ❤

  72. Trevor A. Mill May 29, 2016 at 8:41 am #

    OH MY GOD!!! I just read this and am a man in my later 40’s, and we get the same thing! My wife and I have (collectively) 5 sons and a daughter ranging from 24-29 yo and sometimes I wonder if they think we were born last week…same stuff. I could go on for PARAGRAPH’s about this just like you….good pen. BRAVO!!

  73. Mollie Openshaw May 29, 2016 at 11:09 am #

    This is hysterical and #truth
    Exactly why I created a line of wine for women. Celebrate the Challenges of Menopause with a Glass of Mood Swings Wines
    Why not celebrate, laugh at, and even make fun of the challenges that menopause brings? Why not enjoy life together and drink wine together, enjoying the ride? My goal was to create a series of wines and wine related products that highlight a woman in the midst of real life, struggling with a hot flash but taking it in stride. We think that should bring delight to a lot of women, and probably even a few men along the way! Wanna join the party?

    Don’t tell me I have to be “skinny” either, that will really piss a menopausal woman off.
    Most of us or at least everyone should recognize that they’ve had a full life at this point and it is there time to do whatever the heck they want to do wear whatever they want to do say whatever they want to do eat whatever they want to do and drink whatever they want to drink (WINE) #moodswingwines
    Cheers and by the way I’m not just all that and a bag of chips I’m all that and three bags of chips !!!!

    Mollie 🍷🍷🍷🍷

  74. Serenstar May 29, 2016 at 11:17 am #

    And…I will wear my mismatched socks because they are FUN for me. I remember how I felt when I read that article as well. That girl has no idea what life could have in store for her when she grows up.

  75. Virginia Jolly May 29, 2016 at 12:03 pm #

    I have spent some thirty years trying to get through school and get into a career that my degrees were meant for: biology and teaching. I got a total of three jobs in such an area, the longest being 2 years and 2 months. None of the others in a total of 26 years had anything to do with my degrees. None of them pushed me toward careers I was interested in.

    Then for 10 years, I was slowed down to a crawl by first hitting a virtual brick wall, being diagnosed with a mental illness. I had to redefine myself and my direction, and I did it very slowly, as I had to do it side-by-side with treating my illness. And in two of those years, I lost creativity altogether.

    I wrote stories because I love to write them for myself. And I found through a number of evolutionary stages that writing is my niche, and as I pursued that path, I uncovered opportunities that I never would have thought of in my career as a student or a career-chaser.

    Now I can be a programmer, a pirate, an astronaut, a designer, an artist, a doctor, a scientist of any sort, an engineer, a politician, a lawyer, a policeman, a firefighter, or any number of things I want to be, even extraterrestrials! Because I am a writer. And because I have gotten this far, I don’t give a fig about what someone younger than me says (and I take the older ones with a grain of salt). I wear what I want (comfortable), I do what I want (rock climb, write, needle arts, making/hacking, leatherwork, attend cons, tai chi, attend church), and I think what I want (and I do accept my upbringing and my current religion).

    Your parents have the right to tell you what to do up to age 18, and you do have to obey the law, but past that, no one has the right to lord anything over you.

    So all the “fashionistas” out there, just talk to the hand, ‘cuz the ears already shut you down.

  76. Teresa Cypher May 29, 2016 at 12:10 pm #

    Outstanding post! Thank you. 🙂

  77. bee May 29, 2016 at 1:20 pm #

    Ha! It does piss u off isn’t it? 🙂 Gotta say, all my life i tried to stay away from any shit like that. even my mom couldn’t tell me what to do, not anyone else out there. this is very specific, talking about over 30 or 40 or 20 or whatever. in my mind i couldn’t care less who is what age. i couldn’t care less what young girls says and couldnt care less what anyone says about someone else. no one tells me what to do, and if they try, ha! to be honest, no one tries no more either ha. i think i have set my boundaries. world have all kind of shit rules people believe in. but my life is my life. no one else is living it. the same for u! 🙂 nice blog. of course u wear whatever the fuck u like! and dont even read any nonsense like that. ( what age who wears what? ha ridiculous )

  78. Cindy May 29, 2016 at 1:33 pm #

    I’m 56 years old. It’s funny I should say this but I was in the store the other day and saw neon hair color. I thought it would be fun I bought 4 different colors. This time the front of my hair is teal I love it. I’ve gotten more comments from other people about how much they like my hair. Like I’ve seen many people say it’s only hair it’ll grow out.

  79. Debbie D. May 29, 2016 at 2:14 pm #

    Right on! I’m 61 and don’t give a shit about what anyone else thinks either. My waist-length grey hair gets plentyof compliments and I wear large hoop earrings all the time.

  80. Sunny May 29, 2016 at 2:27 pm #

    Love, love, love this article and love the many responses! I’m actually always amused when I see advice from uptight young-uns. One of the joys of my old age is going out of my way to embarrass these children with their ridiculous egocentric notions that one must “conform” to a made up standard.

    Young ones think the whole world is looking at them and judging them. Which is normal at that age. They feel out of control and desperately seek control over something. But they’re looking in the wrong direction when they try to control us, their elders. For we see them for what they are. Our children, our students, our apprentices.

    Its our job to show them how to laugh at themselves. To help them see that the whole world is not scrutinizing their every move. In fact, few people give a fuck. The only ones that do care are the other insecure children that have not grown up yet and spend hours stressing over how others see them and how others are judging them.

    Since we, the older generation(s), see how silly this is we will continue to go out of our way to embarrass you. Its one if the joys of old age and it’s a lesson you need. Life is short. It’s meant to be enjoyed. So as my generation was so fond of saying “fuck ’em if they can’t take a joke”. And the joke is on you if you think we give a crap. 😀

  81. Evie May 29, 2016 at 3:10 pm #

    You know what else women over 30 shouldn’t do? Call 20-something’s babies and toddlers. You’re whining about being judged by age and turning around and doing the same. Since you’re apparently older and wiser perhaps it’s time you learned about something called maturity.

    • janetmermaid May 29, 2016 at 3:15 pm #

      Aw did we hurt your feelings little Evie? We’ve been through hell and back. We’re allowed some slack, especially when we’re being judged by babies who’ve barely lived yet.

    • phoebz4 May 29, 2016 at 3:20 pm #

      I spent my 20’s being told I was just a baby. Sure, I had a college degree and three kids, but yet, I was still a baby to so many. Of course, now that I have a child who’s twenty, I get why I was called that.

      It’s not the age, but the miles. And a twenty-something telling me that I can’t wear hoop earrings, well, needs to drive around town a little more. Do some traveling. Gain some maturity.

    • Sunny May 29, 2016 at 10:18 pm #

      We’re not complaining about being judged. You miss the point if that’s how you read it. We are laughing at those that think we give a rat’s ass about what they think we should wear or how we should act.

      Besides, when I say insecure children, I am referring to a state of maturity, not chronological age. I know of a couple women in their 60s that have never grown out of this egocentric stage. Then again I have a good friend in her 20s that is an old soul and would never dream of telling anyone how to live life!

      If you were deeply offended by this article maybe you need to take a hard look at yourself to see why it hit you so personally. If it doesn’t fit you then ignore it – it’s not for you.

      In the meantime understand that we “old” women have learned a thing or two in our many years on this planet. To assume we don’t know anything (including how to dress ourselves) is, indeed, childish.

  82. Theresa Lynn May 29, 2016 at 3:20 pm #

    53 here , Red . blue and Purple hair , 25 tattoos (most acquired in the past 10 months) I have several piercings including septum in my nose lol .I will never let anyone Tell me how I can dress or look ,Including family members (sometimes they are worse than youngsters)

  83. Vanessa May 29, 2016 at 3:29 pm #

    Fuck that noise 😂👍👍
    I don’t listen to any male of female of any age telling me what I should wear. How confused I would be and I love eclectic but this would be eclectic at its worst.
    My fella saying wear a thong and a napkin for a skirt and my mother would say corderoy or tweed whatever the weather 😂
    Fuck that noise!!!
    Thank you for this its going in my book of beast swear words along side “cunty fuck womble”

    • phoebz4 May 29, 2016 at 3:30 pm #

      “cunty fuck womble” – You must be from the UK, lol! I’m writing that one down myself.

  84. Maddy May 29, 2016 at 5:03 pm #

    I can’t believe I finished reading this blog, because as a twenty-something on the Internet, I was referred to as a fetus within the first paragraph. I know that’s meant to be demeaning, but I find it confusing considering the lack of writing skills of a fetus. I also find it hypocritical, because as a woman who likes to stand out in her older age, you refer to a large number of women younger than you as “toddlers,” and never recognize that you are only reacting so a single point on a single article written by a single person. Don’t get me wrong, I know this article is intended to be encouraging and fun. But you have to realize that you don’t need to be mean to do that.

    • phoebz4 May 29, 2016 at 5:39 pm #

      I can’t believe you finished reading it either. Yes, there was an attempt at humor, glad you caught that.

      Here’s a little secret for you – you don’t have to read everything. If you start reading something, and you don’t like it, go find something else! It’s okay, not everything on the internet is for everyone – thank goodness there’s such a selection to choose from!

    • kathyingeorgia May 29, 2016 at 5:45 pm #

      How many people referred to fetuses? Or toddlers? Actually, not that many, considering that most of us have now spent decades being told what we must not wear by people younger than our own children. You might call it “a single point on a single article written by a single person.” Most of us call it a daily refrain. 226,000,000 hits:

  85. judethomas21 May 29, 2016 at 5:40 pm #

    Hear Hear! I love it! You go girl! I want blue hair, I’m 54 and I am going to dye my dam hair blue this week cause I can! 🙂

  86. Carol May 29, 2016 at 6:15 pm #

    Well said, I work with teenagers and wear brightly coloured Asics because they appear to my inner artist and need for bright colours (also very comfortable for someone on their feet most of the day. The kids love them, I love them they don’t match my work clothes and I dont care! I also am a fan of Jack Skellington and my work bag and lanyard are featured with him, so follow your heart and stuff the neigh sayers they aren’t living your life you are, Im 55 years young, mother and grandmother and that’s a surprise to the kids I work with on a regular basis – and that’s great for the ego =D Live, love, laugh life is for enjoying!

  87. Kuleen Lashley (@kuleenlashley) May 29, 2016 at 6:33 pm #

    Whenever a girlfriend turns 40, I celebrate by sending them a particular scene from Fried Green Tomatoes. It is the one where Kathy Bates’ character is waiting for a parking spot, and two young gals steal it from her. The girls say “We are younger and prettier.” Then Kathy Bates’ repeatedly plows her car into theirs ands says “I’m older and have more insurance.”

    Ladies, life is WAY more fun over 40. Not only are you older and have more insurance, you just don’t give a fuck what other people think about you.

  88. 20 something lawyer May 29, 2016 at 6:40 pm #

    True, what we wear and what we do shouldn’t be dictated by age and what others say. Do what you want. 🙂

  89. Ardyn Lee May 29, 2016 at 6:47 pm #

    Omg, I love you! I am 43, and am most comfortable in my skater shorts, my concert Ts, and my Vans. I work for an anime convention, and would normally have blue or violet hair. This year I considered not coloring it, because of my age. Screw that, you are an inspiration!!

  90. Eva May 29, 2016 at 6:53 pm #

    😊 💋! Well said sister! I’m (almost, 1 week to go) 44 and I do not listen to anyone about what I should or should not wear. I might ask my son of 22 (and a fashion designer) if I look great in a certain outfit… But in the end I just wear what pleases me. Finally gotten to an age, that I know my strenghts and lesser sides… And learned to love the way I am.

  91. ChrisGreen May 29, 2016 at 7:35 pm #

    Phoebe I loved this post. I’m 52 and my favorite Doc Marten books have been sitting my closet for at least 8 years. I want to wear them so badly! I will wear them again.

  92. tiger66466 May 29, 2016 at 9:01 pm #

    There are few things more annoying than having someone try to pigeonhole you or be so close-minded as to think that everyone needs to adhere to THEIR way, as if it were the best or only way to do things.

    I tend to think that the people who write dictates like what women a certain age should wear (or not wear) are too scared to be individuals and think for themselves. Instead they let others control their thoughts and opinions and this is their weak attempt at feeling like they have control – but without taking the risk of not fitting in.

    I’m going to be 40 this year and I have zero plans to suddenly change how I dress or wear my hair based on some unimaginative rules of strangers/society.

    Even when I was in my 20s I didn’t follow trends or give a single fuck about what was the “in” thing to wear or do. Unless I truly liked a certain thing I wouldn’t wear it – and if I liked it that much I’d still wear it LONG after it went out of style.

    I remember my asshole uncle trying to say I was dressing too young once – and I was in my mid 20s. My reaction to that was the same as yours – fuck that noise.

    I’ve always had much more admiration for people – of any age – who do their own thing rather than blindly wanting to “fit in” and be like everyone else. That’s got to be the most boring way to live and it’s just fruitless and exhausting.

    Most of these comments are super encouraging. I’ve been a bit apprehensive to turn 40. Not really because of the actual age (I feel WAY younger and look a lot younger) but because my 30s were pretty shitty overall, and I remember people telling me how great the 30s are. So my apprehension was that maybe I’d have the same “bleghness” (for lack of a real word) would keep on. However, I think something is shaking loose because I just had a switch come on to make some changes about some things I’d been unhappy about in my 30s.

    I definitely recommend clip in hair extensions/pieces for those who want to change up their hair with funky colors but don’t want to deal with the upkeep or potential damage of using hair colors. I have super long (to my hips hair) that is also very healthy. I love the crazy colors but since it’s also very dark I don’t want to bleach it – so when I “discovered” the world of clip in extensions I went nuts and ordered a bunch of them in a variety of colors. They’re fun, they’re super inexpensive, no upkeep, not damaging, and great for those who like to change it up frequently.

  93. Trish MLDB May 29, 2016 at 10:49 pm #

    I want purple hair – tried before after it grew back from bald /chemo and my hair is too dark.
    I’m biting the age bullet and going to do it again. It’s short so it will grow out fast enough.
    40 days to Fifty.

  94. Caroline May 29, 2016 at 11:22 pm #

    Hey, Phoebe. Terrific post. You got me all worked up because I’m getting married in October and will be 51 by that time. I’m betwixt and between everything from wedding attire to invitations and find myself soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo resentful of the twentysomethings who currently dictate the norms. They have the nerve to tell me how to dress (couldn’t agree with you more about the two-finger salute to what’s “acceptable” for someone my age to wear), but they also have established some truly ridiculous etiquette and trends for weddings. If I see another chalkboard invitation or wedding sign, I’ll barf. Who decided Mason jars with burlap wrapped around them and a few yellow weeds shoved in them were awesome centerpieces? That person should lose their magazine job. And why is it cool for the bride to wear a wedding gown with cowboy boots and the groom to wear jeans with suspenders and a bow tie? I’m all for doing your own thing and thinking outside the box, but cuffed jeans with Pee Wee Herman hair and accessories looks juvenile and, well, like you’re trying to be Pee Wee Herman.

    I need eye bleach after seeing most of the young women who grace magazine covers, bridal or not, these days. The stylists are narrow-minded (and sometimes color-blind), and push tacky-looking, ill-fitting, over-priced garments that even Austin Powers would reject. So now I do my own thing and don’t cave to what’s supposedly hip. I’m not a slave to fashion; fashion’s a slave to me!

    I also have stopped sweating what twentysomethings think is cool. I’ll still set my table with sterling silver and drink out of Swedish crystal stemware, not to mention cut and arrange my own flowers, cook with glutens and dairy, and still make a pecan pie with Karo corn syrup. I’ll even revel in the fact that I am still a hold-out and am one of the 47 people left in the U.S. who don’t own a cell phone.

    Over forty? Try over 50. I’ll never let some idjit with a Bluetooth device glued to her ear like she’s part of the Borg collective tell me how to dress, behave, entertain, cook, or live my life. Ain’t got time for that superficial bandwagon.

    Thanks again for a great read.

    • Bu88les1 May 30, 2016 at 7:06 am #

      First, I’ll be 61 this year. I applaud everything you said except about the cell phone. That’s not being stubborn — that’s being short-sighted.

      I have been in two accidents, one serious. BOTH times I thanked the gods that I had a cell phone. I called my husband within seconds instead of waiting for someone with a phone to show up, approach me, listen to me repeat a number, make a call, etc. Instead I picked up my phone and dialed 1, my husband’s speed number.

      Also, a few years ago I was driving home from a friend’s house — we’d gone to a midnight movie — and a construction detour sent me into a part of the outskirts of Austin I’d never been in. It was 2 am. I’d had a couple of glasses of wine. There were no street lights and few street signs. It was a “new” area so there were few houses and no signs of life. Lots of large construction equipment and piles of debris. I had no idea where I was or how to get out.

      I had my cell phone (which my husband had convinced me to get after my car died in the middle of an intersection — before the two accidents above) but it wasn’t a “smart” phone. I’d stupidly stayed stubborn about “that kind of phone”.

      I was lost, tipsy, and scared, driving around dark streets in the middle of nowhere. I called my husband (it took 10 calls in a row to wake him up). He got on his computer and tried to guide me out, based on the very few landmarks I could give him. It took 20 minutes to get me back onto a known road. All because I’d been stubborn and refused a smart phone with a built-in map program. The next day I upgraded to an iPhone.

      Refusing a cell phone as we age is, IMHO, stupid. I was not in a good area when I was lost. Bad things could have happened. And both previous times when I was in an accident I would have had a hard time reaching my husband.

      So congratulations on your wedding! But get a damn cell phone. There’s no celebration in being a Luddite.

  95. JoAnna May 29, 2016 at 11:56 pm #

    I spent my 20’s and part of my 30’s being conservative. Wanted to set a good example for my girls. I got my first tattoo at 35 and pierced my nose. Both were something I had always wanted to do but didn’t think I was badass enough. I see lots of women rocking purple hair and I have always wanted to do that. I will be doing it this week!

    • JoAnna May 29, 2016 at 11:59 pm #

      I also want to add that I am nearly 50. I have 4 tats now and plans to get at least one more.
      I didn’t think I could quit smoking after 30 years but it’s now been 2 months! I do have a vape…but it’s not a cigarette!

  96. S0rceress0 (@S0rceress0) May 30, 2016 at 12:50 am #

    I’m 42.

  97. sarah waller May 30, 2016 at 4:58 am #

    Hi All, I love this blog – I am so hearing you all! I have never been an outrageous, being a redhead naturally, but I will wear what I want to want to wear and be happy. I am 52 now… I spent most of my young years trying to hide my hair from peer pressure… now i am enjoying it to the full.. Natural highlights to boot! I did try to wear highlights for a while and put blue and pink highlights, just because I could… I dont know how anyone can knock anyone for the way they are – especially when our youngsters go and spend £100’s of pounds on ‘ripped jeans, skirts and t-shirts’!! I also used to wear Huge hoop earings and today I wear long dangly ones, when i go out, I love them. Good on you all – At least we can wear what we want to wear now without having to worry about what others say!

  98. Elaine May 30, 2016 at 5:35 am #

    Love the article and all the comments! I’m 57 and bought my first pair of big silver hoop earrings two years ago. I have no tats but I did get my nose pierced 10 years ago when my daughters all decided to get theirs done together and I tagged along (honestly, I’d *always* wanted to pierce my nose!). My hair is it’s natural color because my natural color rocks – I’m enhancing my gray with the special shampoos that brighten it up so it’s a nice soft silver. I love wearing hippie clothes, my closet is filled with paisley tunic tops and tie dye. I was a die-hard smoker until four years ago when I got curious about this new-fangled vaping and absolutely fell in love with it. I haven’t had a cigarette in years but I have some fancy e-cigs that I will happily flaunt anywhere. Much love to all the other ladies out there who are being who they want to be!

  99. Stephen Keyes May 30, 2016 at 5:41 am #

    My wife has, as long as I’ve known her, has had only one response to such declarations as to what she can’t or shouldn’t do: “Oh really…”. It always makes me smile, as that scene unfolds before my eyes, like a Polaroid photo developing after it rolls out of its camera, or a sped up series of photos of an emerging crocus in early Spring. It’s beautiful, endearing, and most awe inspiring. Yes, she is caring, sensitive, empathetic, reflective… But never restricted or limited. And she left her 30’s behind her decades ago.

  100. 2old2tap May 30, 2016 at 6:19 am #

    I’ll be 60 this year. Due to a new job that allows earrings, I’ve pulled my giant hoops and to the the shoulder earrings out of the mothballs. No one has dared to suggest I’m too old. I also wear some 70’s vintage hippy style vests and shawls. It’s my style and I’m loving every minute.

  101. Rica@ Yoga Mat Monkey May 30, 2016 at 8:29 am #

    Love this! I just convinced my 57-year old mother to dye her hair teal. Her first response was, “I’m too old for that.” I replied, “Then do it!” It goes well with her hoop earrings! 😀

  102. Laurie Oh May 30, 2016 at 8:33 am #



    THANK YOU!!!!

  103. ckellison May 30, 2016 at 8:57 am #

    Amen Sister..Im 46 and I’ll wear what ever the hell I want…

  104. Lisa Solis May 30, 2016 at 10:33 am #

    Agreed! It’s such a joke. I’ll be the big 5-0 in a few months and still wear my hair in pigtails. Sometimes they are longer and low, sometimes short and high. It’s been my trademark since I was 3… except for some big hair 80’s years and a one year stint with a Wendy O mohawk. Fifteen years ago, I’d work apparel tradeshows with a friend. There was a couple who owned a punk rock store in California. She was well over 50 and had completely grey hair (b/f 20 somethings dyed their hair grey) that she wore in little pigtails. She was an individual, it suited her and seemed as if any other hairstyle would not look right on her. I plan on having pure white pigtails when I’m a gran…. unless I choose to not.

    There is a big difference between wearing what suits you and trying to be something you are not. I’ve been smh at makeup tutorials on a popular instagram account. It is insane the amount of makeup they are applying to contour a woman’s face, generally younger women. That is what I think is sad, that to feel beautiful they feel they need to alter the appearance of their jawline, nose, cheekbones, etc with layer upon layer of makeup.. and add mink eyelashes. However, if that is what makes them truly happy and feel good about themselves, great.

    Women need to stop tearing down other women. We get enough of that from men. Plus, when you lived through the childhood fashion of the 70’s and the neon and mesh explosion of the 80’s, you get to wear whatever. 🙂

  105. Kate May 30, 2016 at 11:42 am #

    Yes! Yes…fucking YES!!!! Thank God for this article…I was using the internet before some of these women under thirty were a twinkle in their daddy’s todger.

  106. Monica May 30, 2016 at 1:18 pm #

    I am completely with you! I’m turning 40 in July and still to this day I wear what the fuck I want, use whatever perfume I like, accessorize how I please and it’s not tacky at all. In fact like you said, I get complimented by women younger than me. Maybe it comes down to how you wear it than what you’re wearing. Peace ✌

  107. Ruby May 30, 2016 at 1:26 pm #

    I am 54 and I have very long hair. Constantly being told I am too old for long hair. It’s my head, my hair, my body, and I will do what I damn well please.

  108. mrsportiasmith May 30, 2016 at 2:10 pm #

    I LOVE this!!! I’m 34 and I don’t plan on changing my style anytime soon! I appreciate this!!!

  109. C. Heidrich May 30, 2016 at 2:41 pm #

    I felt great when I turned 40. In fact I felt free of all those constraints. I was asked what ages my kids were and freely told my age as well. I’m glad I didn’t grow up with Internet. I wear what I like and am finally comfortable in my own skin.

  110. Celi van Heerden May 30, 2016 at 2:43 pm #

    I turned 70 last month and I wear the highest heel shoes because I love them and I wear BIG earrings. I wear them because I like them and seeing that I’m still able to do so (own knees and hips) I relish every pair of shoes and every pair of earrings that I buy.

  111. Lorena May 30, 2016 at 3:27 pm #

    Those of you thinking this is about hair color are totally missing the point.

    • Janet Christian May 30, 2016 at 3:42 pm #

      Give us some credit. I don’t believe for a minute that ANY of us are think this is about hair color. It’s just one simple, visible example of showing (and explaining) how we don’t let others dictate to us anymore. We wear what we want. We live how we want. We hang with who we choose. We go where we want to go or stay put where we want to stay put.

      We’ve finally reached an age where we truly understand that life is short. Many of us are past that Big Milestone — we have fewer years ahead of us than behind. The years we have left are OURS and no one—especially not some twittery little twenty-something—is going to tell us how to live them.

      Is that clear enough for you?

  112. Elizabeth May 30, 2016 at 5:14 pm #

    While there is no excuse for these lists telling women what they should and should not wear, I sincerely hope that when I am in my forties I will choose to help women in their twenties to unlearn the internalised misogyny that gives rise to such attitudes. I hope I will encourage them on their way instead of infantilising them. And I hope I will teach them that they can make their own rules at ANY age, not just once they have survived as long as I have.

    • peggieditmars May 30, 2016 at 10:25 pm #

      Yes. YES.

  113. Tracie_Rathsack May 30, 2016 at 5:50 pm #

    A freaking men!

  114. Stephanie May 30, 2016 at 6:25 pm #

    Definitely agree with you … Your comments hold true for us young women of 60!!! WTF I can do, wear & say whatever I want and no twit at any age will tell me NOT to. I didn’t do what I was told to do by my mother so … I’m not about to pay attention to some blogger! I made it to my 60s and my mom was proud of the woman I became even without her permission along the way!

  115. barbaraisabroad May 30, 2016 at 6:57 pm #

    Amen sistah, tell ’em.

    From a 62 year old with lavender highlights.

  116. selfimprovingjunkie May 30, 2016 at 8:07 pm #

    Right on! But please, also do not tell me what to do or how to dress to look “youthful”. I am old enough (over 55) to not to equate “youth” with an accomplishment. Youth is a state I’ve already been and ‘old’ is not a swear word. I will wear whatever I want, get a tattoo or not, wear my grandma undies some day and lacey thongs the next….I do not cover my grays and some days I do not cover my decolletage. I know I did not believe it when I was younger, but being over the hill is not the end, but the beginning. Finally I am old enough not to give a flying duck of what anyone thinks I should do and I am young enough to do whatever i feel doing.

  117. Kf May 30, 2016 at 8:57 pm #

    I’m 49, just wait bitches. Just wait.

  118. cannedhiss May 30, 2016 at 9:17 pm #

    “They shouldn’t let complete strangers with less life experience then they have bully them into a corner.”

    I think you mean “…than they have…”.

  119. Ingrid May 30, 2016 at 10:21 pm #

    For thousands of years, men have been telling us how to dress. In some countries, they’re still doing it openly, and in other places, they do it more subtly. It might be a good idea to start there. I don’t think there are lots of young women trying to tell older women how to dress. You gotta do what you want, of course, but I can’t work up a hate for any woman anywhere, and if I could, I’d be superfluous. There are so many men who have that skill already.

  120. Lisa H. May 31, 2016 at 7:55 am #

    Amen Sista! All you said and all you feel becomes so much bigger and truer when you’re over 50. I have never been one to bow to what society says I should be or do, and I damn well won’t start now.

  121. Susan R May 31, 2016 at 8:16 am #

    I’m 64 and died my hair teal, blue & purple a few months ago. I got my first nose piercing at 54 and my first tattoo at 57. The people who compliment me most are teens and twenty somethings. I also noticed while teaching school, the kids seemed to trust me more.

  122. The Crazy Crone May 31, 2016 at 11:40 am #

    I’m 68, coming up to 69 in September, got purple hair, wear purple most of the time, wear lots of bling jewellery and loathe that word “should”. Disgusting word. The whole point is to grow old disgracefully!

    • De May 31, 2016 at 12:21 pm #

      No honey, don’t grow old…………………….just LIVE….

  123. artsielady May 31, 2016 at 12:05 pm #

    I’ll be 61 this year. I got my first tattoo a few months ago. Not some cutesy butterfly or flower…not that that’s bad but I got a tribal tat on my arm. I wear big hoop earrings too. There is no one that is going to get away with telling me what to do or wear. So Miss (young) thing. Get over yourself!

  124. De May 31, 2016 at 12:12 pm #

    Sitting at job #1 in capri pants, very large men’s Hawaiian print shirt and white Converse low tops………………I look great.

    And to the young woman that feels she can tell me I’m too old to wear…etc, just remember my dear, there will come a time that someone will be saying the same thing to YOU and, personally I think your highlight/contour makes you look like an old hooker…..

    • De May 31, 2016 at 12:14 pm #

      Oh, and I’m 58yo.

  125. Elisanne MacHardy Mead May 31, 2016 at 1:27 pm #

    Life is too darn short to do anything but what you darn well please. Dye your hair olive green if it pleases you. Wear bright red mascara if it pleases you. Wear high heels with shorts if it pleases you. Just live every darn day to the fullest because you only have to please you.

  126. Joyce. May 31, 2016 at 2:49 pm #

    Thank freak gawd I did not listen to the “internet fetuses” when I joined the Canadian Army at 44 (still in the army at 51) and when I ran 6 1/2marathons at 45 and 46. The “internet fetuses” need to get the hell over themselves and go sit in the “safe” place while woman over 40, 50, 60, 70, 80,90s continue to kick ass and take names.

  127. VeronicaThePajamaThief May 31, 2016 at 2:59 pm #

    Brava…. brava, girl! You effing ROCK!!! I want to hug you, high five you, fist bump, kiss you, buy you a drink…. all of the above because…

    You FUCKING rock!!!

    God, I hate those smarmy, self-righteous little bitches!

    I turned 31 last September so I am “officially” barred from wearing short skirts, hoop earring, and Converse? Separately or as an ensemble?

    Yeah, fuck those twenty-something twats! I will stop wearing Converse when the pry them from my cold dead fingers!!

  128. VeronicaThePajamaThief May 31, 2016 at 3:09 pm #

    Oops! That should be “I turned 30 last September”, not 31. Damn, making myself older than what I am. Lol!

    Okay, gotta get dressed and out of here. Where’d I put those skinny ass glitter jeans? 😉

  129. Maria May 31, 2016 at 4:39 pm #

    Yessss, you go woman!

  130. AnnMarie May 31, 2016 at 6:19 pm #

    I bought a pair of Converse and I rock them at 50

  131. Ojep June 1, 2016 at 4:48 am #

    Tell ‘m girl!
    Got my tattoo at 49.
    (male, 60+)

  132. Shannon June 1, 2016 at 7:32 am #

    I think if you’ve got your knickers in such a Twist over something someone else has said and let someone else control your emotions in the manner in which you have in this article, I would suggest you not let others control you so much.
    Maybe you should not worry so much about what other people think about what you are doing. Just concern yourself with your needs and your wants and go on about your business and let them do what they want.
    It isn’t affecting you in any way at all and if you feel like it is, you shouldn’t let other people control you so much. Put your big girl panties on and get over it

  133. Caroline June 1, 2016 at 8:33 am #

    I love this! F*** yeah!

    I do think we should not place the blame on younger women for the culture of competition and blame within female circles. It’s a mechanism of the patriarchy and capitalist culture. They shouldn’t be telling you what to wear or criticize/compare at all, and it’s not really them perpetuating it.

  134. Karlene June 1, 2016 at 9:14 am #

    Spot on! Thank you.

  135. Emily Garcia June 1, 2016 at 10:46 am #

    Kudos to all of us!!! I wear my hair in a Pixie style, and I dyed it in bright red, I have fair skin with freckles, and everyone tells me it looks “marvelous” LMAO I’m 62, 5 feet 1 and 105 lbs, I dress comfortable, I wear lots and lots of bracelets and rings, LOVE them!!! I’ve never cared what others says. I wear my shorts in the summer and my boots in winter. We are all young at heart and that’s what’s important!

  136. Tammy Reeder June 1, 2016 at 10:56 am #

    YES!!! Soooo MUCH YEEEEEES!!!!! Thank you!!! You NAILED IT!!!

  137. Sandra June 1, 2016 at 11:50 am #

    I am 65 and wore my black leather pants to work today… Attitude much?

  138. Peggy Nolan June 1, 2016 at 12:03 pm #

    Breast cancer at 40. Got my first tattoo at 42. Started martial arts when I was 43. Got my first degree black belt at 47. Got my second degree black belt at 49. Got my 3rd degree black belt 2 weeks before I turned 52. I stopped caring about what other people thought about me when I didn’t know if I was going to live or die. I opted for living. Feck everyone else if they don’t approve. 😉

  139. Alexandra W June 1, 2016 at 1:35 pm #

    I can appreciate the idea behind this blog entry, yet I can’t say I fully agree with it. I am all open to a movement where we can all be ourselves in it’s entirety, whether it’s a business woman (20,30,40,50 etc..) having her hair purple at work, or a business man wearing khaki shorts because it’s hot out… What I have observed tends to oppose what you have. I look at a more mature woman with her hair dipped blue (yes I have seen this) and think to myself, ‘hey, go for it! You look like you are enjoying your life’. What I notice is other men and women, roughly her age staring at her like she has lost her marbles. I also know that being 26 and still trying to make my way up the ‘working ladder’ I would be unable to find work if I dyed my hair an ‘abnormal’ colour (god I wish I could). I keep my hair dull and cover my tattoos because I need to create an image for myself that is viewed ‘normal’ in our world. Everyone judges and believes they know what’s proper. 20 year olds feel lost in this society and choose to blame the older generation, 30-40 year olds think millennial’s are lazy brats, 60 year olds wonder how you 40 year olds raised such lazy brats. The 80+ are being forgotten. What a world we live in eh?? Lets be open to expression sure, but can’t we teach ourselves to open ourselves up for appreciation vs. judgement. Just an observation from a ‘internet fetus’.

  140. Tracey June 1, 2016 at 2:18 pm #

    I love this, as a woman heading toward 50.

  141. Ali Shoemaker June 1, 2016 at 3:24 pm #

    Great article (or blog) This made my day! I was laughing so hard!! As children we are raised to act a certain way, dress a certain way…yada yada. Then at some point when we have reached adulthood or perhaps tried to be that adult for so long, you realize your miserable. Why? Because you’ve been living as a pleaser to others and not your true self. The younger kids that say we shouldn’t wear this or we are too old, too fat, too wrinkled just haven’t figured out who they are yet (or really, who they are not) I feel as I have become older (42) The most important thing in any relationship is being your authentic self. It’s very liberating to do what you love, and love who you are inside and out. I would NEVER want to be 20 again, too much judgement and concern about how others view you. (At least that was my 20s and early 30s) As women we don’t need a label, and hopefully if you had to have one it would be so diverse. As we age, like a fine wine, we learn to appreciate differences in people and the unexpected joy they bring to our life.
    If you ever see my hippie/preppy/yoga pant self out for a nice dinner… Sorry baked potato,this old broad is having French fries with her filet😂 And young judgers beware.. I may even “moonwalk”over to you and do the “running man” in my “walk like an Egyptian” earrings and my “simply irresistible” dress and act like we are good friends😂❤️ To all other fine wines out there, if it makes you happy and doesn’t hurt others .. Do It! 😎
    Ps. (Lol now that’s an oldie) I have met so many young adults that are wise beyond their years. So this isn’t really an age thing as much as when women finally realize to be supportive and embrace opposite views❤️

  142. Pat Dought June 1, 2016 at 4:42 pm #

    I am almost 60 and I thank you for your support!

  143. Ohsnap! June 1, 2016 at 6:35 pm #

    AMEN. Two years ago, out of the blue, I decided to take acting lessons and what do you know? The girl’s got talent. Got cast in my first play last fall (one of the leads, thank you very much). Creating buzz in my home town. Oh, I ride a bike everywhere in short skirts!

  144. Maryann Moore June 1, 2016 at 8:20 pm #

    I wear what I feel good in and will not let anyone even kids tell me what I can or cannot wear! I have a shirt that says (life’s too short to wear boring clothes!) I love it

  145. Madijae June 2, 2016 at 1:07 am #

    Anyone with any sense or knowledge, would not publish an article in this fashion. Is there a right and wrong way to do things mentioned in this article?, yes. “Hoop earrings”, are fine at any age. Depending on the fashion that they Are worn. Swearing like a sailor, trying to prove a point though, will not get you very far. Fashion statements at this day and age are only an opinion. To fight what is real, only makes you a “dick”. 😉

    • Janet Christian June 2, 2016 at 8:13 am #

      WTF are you talking about? The entire point of this article is that there is no “wall” past which we are supposed to grab our afghans, put on our checked print housecoats, and sit in our rocking chairs knitting sweaters for our grandkids. I can wear what I want. I can style my hair however I want. I can also DO WHAT I WANT with my life. I happen to love travel so we explore a different country (or countries) in Europe for several weeks twice a year.

      I also have been known to cuss like a sailor (years of working with men in computer centers) and fuck is one of my favorites. Don’t like it? Tough titties.

      I don’t even know what point you were trying to make with your last sentence. I AM real. Rules defining what I’m supposed to be like at 60 are NOT real. And I doubt any one of us “older ladies” has a dick.

  146. Tina June 2, 2016 at 4:43 am #

    At the age of 50 I bought my first pair of “Doc’s”, got my first tattoo, and I still wear hoops. Oh, and I ride a badass motorcycle. You go girl!

  147. Joanna oshanohun June 2, 2016 at 5:00 am #

    Go girlfriend I like your style xxx now I am feeling much better about being within my inner child’s body much respect xxx

  148. Emily Garcia June 2, 2016 at 9:30 am #

    BTW. I’ve forgot to post that I had my first tattoo on my 50th birthday!

  149. Sue Bowden June 2, 2016 at 11:31 am #

    💜💜💜💜💜 !!! Your never too old for ANYTHING!!

  150. thehereandyow June 2, 2016 at 12:01 pm #

    Hey. . .it’s not just the youngsters. I’ve had older ladies in my world telling me that I shouldn’t have such long hair for decades now. . . I’m too old. My best friend who is 52 and the sort of beauty whom strangers stop on the street to tell her how beautiful she is has had to defend herself against similar aged frioends who want to know why exactly she is still wearing her hair “so long”. (to her shoulders. . .)

    But something lovely, a decade ago I went to a music festival and was the lone middle aged person in a sea of teenagers dancing and singing to Ton Petty. (THey knew all the words! I didn’t). There was a young man standing next to me, he was extremely tall, probably 6’5″ or more. He had a gorgeous , really long afro that swayed with the music. Tom Petty kept looking in our direction and smiling as he sang. This wonderful teenager, who truly stood out, and drew attention to himself, leaned down and yelled, “Hey, He keeps looking at you, Man. Look at how he keeps smiling your way.” ME? NOT HIM? Probably not, but I loved every second of being the oldie.

    • phoebz4 June 2, 2016 at 12:15 pm #

      I’ve never understood the “you must have short hair after a certain age”. No, you should have short hair if that’s what you want/looks really fab on you. My mom did the opposite – she had short hair while I was growing up, then grew it out as she got older. Yeah, we’re a bunch of rebels in our family.

      And that young man was awesome, and probably right Tom Petty was looking at YOU ! 😉

  151. M. Lange June 2, 2016 at 2:23 pm #

    I’m 60-something, and the 40-somethings started telling me what to do when I turned 50…what goes around comes around.

  152. purpleaspie June 2, 2016 at 2:34 pm #

    I’m 48 and I just got my hair dyed purple. I get the most compliments from girls and young women.

  153. Dinosaursareexcellent June 2, 2016 at 5:39 pm #

    Yeah, women shouldn’t tear each other down… But not all younger women are like that, and not all younger women are naive. Some of us decided at a young age who we were and that we didn’t care what society or anyone else thinks of how we dress… It sounds like the author of this article just recently got to that point in her life, maybe she has something to learn from me too.

  154. JudyGriffithGill June 2, 2016 at 6:56 pm #

    LOL! Oh, and BTW, old ladies aren’t supposed to use initials as short forms for phrases, but I do it all the time because I’m 74 and purple is my favorite color and when some chickie-baby tells me what I should or should not do, I saw WTF? Who do you think you are? Go away and get some life experience before you come bothering me again. Then I walk away, laughing, showing off my freckles, my wrinkled throat and my red-going-white hair. Also, my soft, cuddly upper arms and soft boobs that grandbabies love to be cuddled up to.

  155. Eva Fadel June 3, 2016 at 6:27 am #

    Phoebe, I’m with you 100%. Attached is a photo of one of my style icons. Love the teal blue! I think a shade of blue might tempt me. My choice is I don’t dye my hair – I’ve dreamed of salt and pepper since I was a teen and now I have it for free! Ironic that now we must liberate ourselves from other women who dictate how we should dress, act, raise our children. Have two fabulous adult children and can’t think of two people I’d rather spend time with. They inspire and encourage me.

  156. Jenn June 3, 2016 at 5:25 pm #

    Cheers to your Chucks! My first pair that I just bought are purple and teal. – 43 and doing my thing and giving props to all ages who do theirs

  157. Therese Elizabeth Ries June 3, 2016 at 7:59 pm #

    I will wear whatever I want whenever I want as long as I am comfortable in it . If you don’t like it don’t buy it or wear it . I will wear my hair how I choose and I will colour my hair whatever colour I feel like because it makes me happy.

  158. Rosemond June 3, 2016 at 8:15 pm #

    Amen, amen, amen (from a woman over 40 wearing high heels and skinny jeans. I’m old enough to wear whatever in the hell my over 40 ass wants!

  159. Kelsey June 4, 2016 at 7:24 am #

    Thanks for this awesomeness! I’m going to be 28 in August and although I know that’s not ‘after 30,’ articles like the one you speak of make me feel like I’ve got this short timeline to wear/do what I want because hey- in 2 years I’ll be too old! I obviously see the ridiculousness of such a thought but sometimes it does pop up in my overworked brain. Anyway thanks again- and I love your look!

  160. murderworksinc June 4, 2016 at 11:29 am #

    I am a non-traditional woman over 40… and I now have a new hero!! I read this on Facebook and just HAD to tell you that I am now a HUGE fan. Keep up the good work and keep on being real!! Women like us will one day rule the world!!!

  161. Vix June 4, 2016 at 1:12 pm #

    I read somewhere about 30 years ago that women over 40 shouldnt have long hair. I cut my hair off. Did loads of stuff with it. Got my first tattoo at 48, went to first scifi con at 51. First music festival at 58, third tattoo this year. My hair is the longest it has ever been over half way down my back and it’s purple. Noone tells me what to do 🙂

    • Mood Swings and Makeup July 31, 2016 at 5:47 pm #

      I love your comment. I’m 46, with long hair, and I’ve been wondering if I’ve reached the age that I should cut it. Thank you for your words! I will let it grow! 🙂

  162. enniebee June 4, 2016 at 1:40 pm #

    I just turned 40 in May…been reading those stupid lists for years and have been worrying that maybe I need to check myself. Just stumbled upon this blog post and well, fuck that noise. I also wear my Docs at least once a week, short skirts when I feel like it, and you and I have REALLY similar hair (though mine has cherry red going on) Ha! Anyway, thanks for putting this out there…bookmarking for the next time I read that my hair should be above my shoulders or that I should avoid animal prints.

  163. Cheri Kuchinski June 4, 2016 at 4:38 pm #

    You are so right! After being in office job after office job for over 20 years, not making enough money and just plain bored…. I decided to make a drastic change at the age of 46. I have always been in engineering/oil refining companies, so I decided to get a crane license… applied for a job as a Roustabout in a Long Beach oil company…. now I work outside everyday, roll around in the dirty oily grit that is a male dominated field… nearly 2 years later, a 48 year old grandmother still wrenches pipe for a living. Climbing tanks, working on pumping units… Ask the while being told by 20, 30 and up men that I’ll never make it…. the young girls look at me like I’m crazy when I go to get lunch or gas while I’m in a dirty uniform… these young girls are so worried about how to fit in, when they need to learn to be more independent and strong…

    Thank you for this article. It is so on point about the younger generation.

  164. Nadia the 6 yo in a 39 yo body June 4, 2016 at 6:20 pm #

    I absolutely LOVE this article. And totally with you!

  165. CF6 June 4, 2016 at 9:40 pm #

    I have finally found someone else my age or close, who writes about what it’s like to be our age. LOVE this. Oh-so-much.

    You know what women over 40 shouldn’t wear? The same thing women under 40 shouldn’t wear – clothes that don’t fit, aren’t comfortable, don’t make us feel fabulous, don’t make us look fabulous (unless they are a uniform for a job we enjoy or that we can be proud of for whatever reason)… That’s the list.

  166. Naomi June 4, 2016 at 10:52 pm #

    I’m 46, and I read this article to my daughters ages 13,12, and 10. My 13 year olds response “Mom you look good with hoop earrings”, I’ve always loved hoop earrings and will continue to wear them until I die. I found the article that I believe stated this opinion, and they also listed a few things I still wear to this day, my response is I was wearing these articles of clothing before you were a zygote, so deal.

  167. Bevan Thomas June 6, 2016 at 4:57 am #

    More power to ya, Phoebe! Who gives a fat rat’s what anyone thinks of any of us? Population, be who you are and ignore the pathetic ageist, shaming, media-sponsored, toxic noise out there…

  168. Nikita June 6, 2016 at 9:35 am #

    Who do they think INVENTED the purple mohawk?? It wasn’t their generation, it was ours! That “old” lady trying to be “cool” in her crazy colored hair is probably just keeping the faith 😉

  169. PetitMew June 6, 2016 at 2:26 pm #

    I’m 30 years old, wear T-Shirts related to my favourite video games (yes I still like playing video games, is that ok? Cos it wasn’t on that list of things I should stop doing), have pink hair and I love wearing overalls. I just find the post funny because I bet most women still do all the stuff they listed and feel bloody good about themselves. We should all celebrate our bodies in whatever way we want, be it hooped earrings at 50 or glitter pants in our 40s. Show off, gals! You’re all fab 😉

  170. Mystic Trippin' Through The BS Reality Maze June 6, 2016 at 3:11 pm #

    Wow – How refreshing to hear this shit finally! I just read this article over from the side of a Huffington post article via through yahoo! I clicked in to the article because you had my hair…lol! But also I had to read about your article, I LOVED it! I am amazed that they didn’t “censer” you, like yahoo and other places do…I loved that you were frank and honest about it all…because that’s exactly how I think too.

    These “kids” today think that everything should be handed to them on a silver-platter, I am always saying what is wrong with these kids today? They are the most dumbed-down, brainless twits I’ve ever seen! Lazy, unthankful, unmotivated, selfish, uncaring, no-personality, mixed-up, screwed-up, know-it-alls (but really, don’t know shit!), whiners, clueless, self-centered brats, materialistic with their hands out to everyone, girls and young women trying their best to look like drag-queens (with their gobs of make-up & false eyelashes), girls trying to look more and more like strippers and streetwalkers (with their clothes and 5+ heels), and boys and young men shaving everything in sight (they are looking more and more feminized everyday! WTF is going on with this generation “the millinials” is what they like to be called! I would take a “cave-man” type (long hair -wild, who don’t shave shit, love a beard, love a nice furry chest…and a furry package…yeah werewolf style…ahhoooo! Now that’s a real man, not these confused girly-men!

    And don’t even get me started on the shitty fucken music they like (if you can even call it that – more like no talent jumping around to pre-fabricated studio mixed crap! Ever see any of them play in a REAL band, yeah with instruments…like real musicians with REAL talent! I grew up in the 60’s and 70’s (best of times) my parents were hippies and so were all my aunts and uncles. Now that was REAL music (classic rock) real talent and real music!

    So I ask you, are you going to let these dumb-asses tell you what you can or cannot wear? I say FUCK that shit…I will wear what I want, when I want and how I want. I will wear colors in my hair, hoop earrings (been wearing them since the 70’s – why the hell would I change now), I had my first tattoo at 42, I am now 53. I have had my hair every color (normal colors) then I felt the inner me wanted to have green hair (and every shade of green so far….for the past several years) I love my “mermaid hair” I also call it my “forest faerie/elf hair” Yes I am a “freak” and I let my “Freak Flag” fly high (just like in the Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young song: “Almost Cut My Hair”). Yes my hair is long, and I get so many compliments from young kids to elderly people, that I would never think would like it…it’s a real trip! Then I always ask them why don’t you do it too? I give them advice on what color would look good on them…and you should see the *sparkle* in their eyes – then I say if you don’t, life will pass you by! At least they go home and “think” about life from a new perspective?

    First of all I have always had a “thing” against society’s cookie cutter molds of what you should do and not do! I am not in a box, I think outside the box…and I’ll be damned if someone is going to tell me what I should wear on my body! The yuppies, preppies, soc’s – now their called the “zombies” (because they consume everything – and all their materialism and other bullshit!) For god sakes how happy can you be with that god damn phone in your ear or face 24/7? And all your social media phony “fake friend” count, does that make you who you are – get the fuck out of the phone and be real and present with what is around you! You know the old saying, “If you don’t stop and smell the roses…life passes you by” well live by it! They got to have the latest phone, latest computer, latest technology…such bullshit – hey dumb-asses don’t you know your just buying into all the media propaganda that they throw at you on TV, in movies, magazines that you NEED the latest shit out there! FUCK the PHONE, I will NEVER buy one of those so I could be a SLAVE to it, why the fuck would I want that piece of shit in my face 24/7? Also look what all this technology making is doing to our earth, to our lives, to our people? Nobody has any time for each other anymore, always stressed-out, working harder so you can pay for all the shit (like George Carlin’s stand up comedy about “STUFF” – so true)! I don’t even own a cell-phone, never liked phones and no way in hell would I ever get one of those iphone or whatever they are called? When I get on the pc it’s when I want to, not texting and calling and on it like a slave to your phone/pc 24/7?

    Anyways sorry for the long rant, I’ve really been trying to think of all the bullshit wrong with society these days…it’s been on a shitty slope for a long time! That’s my conclusion of the times we are living in now.

    I have an auto-immune disease that I’ve been living with for awhile now…it is like a hellish nightmare 24/7…so yeah I’ve come to the conclusion: I don’t give a shit about most people in society or what they think I should fucken wear or how old I am or even how skinny I should be? Oh, don’t get me started on their rediculous sizes of “children’s wear” 0’s, 2’s, 4’s, and whatever, no thank you I’ll take my double digit’s any day over that – Marilyn Monroe, Sophia Loren, Jayne Mansfield, Jane Russell and other curvy, voluptuous women – this is how I like to look, and it is wear I will stay! Who wants to look like a wet little skinny rat with a boy’s stick body? A real women has curves and meat on her bones – don’t be swayed by that stupid hollyweird bullshit they try to through on us women? A goddess should celebrate her curves, NOT diet them away! Besides have you ever seen a man that wants a bag o’ bones in bed…LOL?

    Anyways when you don’t have your health anymore and you don’t get to do the “normal” things in life, because your body is in too much pain, and all the other shit I endure…I look at life in a much different lens now: stripping away all the bullshit from society, the media, the entertainment, the lying news, the propaganda machine, the fake history, and all the other crap they throw at us on a daily bases! Open your eyes and awaken to TRUTH and stop being a sheeple…be yourself, let your inner child shine and wear your “Freak Flag High” and do what you want to do, not what “BOX” people think you need to be in!

    Well I gotten a lot off my mind, thank you for letting me do this here…all this has bothered me for along time! I am so glad to see other women here about how they feel and all our ages, being there true-self and having fun while doing it! Power to you my sisters, live live to the fullest in whatever way you choose to, being REAL…in this world of PHONY PEOPLE everywhere!

    PS. And here is an eye-opener for all of us, but it really effects everyone of us out there. I saw this and really got pissed off to what “they” the-powers-that-be are and have been doing to us for a very long time! I just saw this last weekend, for the first time and just to be clear: I am in no affiliation with this video or the guy speaking in it or anything to do with any of it – I am just a concerned citizen that is pissed off about being lied to about a lot of things! Please see this because your very life depends on it and all your loved ones…THIS VIDEO WILL REALLY BLOW YOUR MIND – WHAT THEY ARE DOING TO US ALL…you probably will cry during and after you see it…(DON’T LET THAT STOP YOU, PLEASE WAKE-UP AND CONNECT-THE-DOTS!

    Ever wonder how these doctors today have no fucken answers, they scratch their heads, confused, while you take more and more from big pharma….FUCKEN QUACKS!

    Please see this it will really awaken you to the machine…See both of these videos (they are long, don’t skip any of them – you will miss it!) Please see them in order, it’s best. This is not just autoimmune diseases, cancer and about headaches, if you had any shots in your history…wait till you see what they’ve injecting all of us with over the decades…while LYING TO US ALL! I myself have tracked all this shit back to (my health problems) and connected-the dots. Also it might give you some answers to why all “the miilinials” kids are a little off? Also to why all of us “baby-boomers” and “generation X” people are having the worse time with our health more than any generations before….and it’s getting worse! Don’t believe me, watch these and you will see what I m talking about! Basically kiss your ass goodbye, because if you don’t have any of these health problems yet…just wait it’ll be coming to the surface sooner than later…the shitty thing is, THEY GAVE IT TO US! Ever wonder how these doctors today have no fucken answers, they scratch their heads, confused, while you take more and more from big pharma….


    1). The Quiet Killer ~ Exploding Autoimmune Epidemics ~ Vaccines & Man Made Cancer ~ Dr. Randy Tent

    2). Headaches – Dr. Tent

    3). Then after all of seeing this (the 2 videos), then you can go listen to the Album “ANIMALS” by Pink Floyd (especially listen to Pigs-three diferent ones, the Sheep) Here’s the whole album in it’s entirety (thank god for You Tube, can stiil listen to all the GREAT CLASSIC ROCK music):

    *And please grammer nerds, don’t jump on my mistakes and such…it’s the content that matters, NOT the scholarly box you try to shove me in…stay in your own lane and will be fine! Besides give me a break, my brain doesn’t work particularly that great anymore…because all the fucken shots I’ve had in the past. Now you’ll think differently when you go get your next flu shot or whatever fucken death shot they give you!

    *To the person who wrote this article (2 thumbs up) you made my day! And to all of you posters on here that do what you want, keep doing what makes you happy! i know by reading all of this today has given me some more happiness -which is great because with my illnesses I battle on a daily basis (not a whole lot of “good” days). You all put a *smile* on my face today…THANK YOU ALL AND MUCH BLESSINGS 🙂

  171. Miz June 6, 2016 at 4:01 pm #

    Recently a friend described another woman’s hair as “not age appropriate”. WTF is that? And who decides?

    When I first moved to California in the 90’s, I was a Goth and the only one around. I hated the way everyone stared so I toned it down, and down, and down, until it was gone. Pressure to conform is a dreadful powerful thing.

    At last I’m learning better. I’ve dyed my grey hairs back to my natural colour for a few years now but decided to try something new – fire-engine red. It was great fun. I also wear shoulder-length earrings on occasion, rings on every finger and my current favourite boots are by Harley Davidson (very comfortable and long-wearing in addition to looking kick-ass).

    I’ll be 49 next month and could stand to lose 20 pounds but I look fabulous. My clothes fit, are not too tight and are colour-coordinated. They just tend to have a lot of zippers/metal/black and involve boots and a scarf. I was recently told by a chic 20-something, “I like your style”. You know what, finally I do too!

  172. asuffusionofyellow June 6, 2016 at 5:33 pm #

    I DO think women should be self-aware enough to avoid clothing that is unflattering or degrading; BUT I see more of that on young women than older women. Yes, OK, look like a hooker if you want to, it’s none of my business. But I want to see INTERESTING clothes, self expression, artistic expression, not sex. Sexualized clothing is monotonous and unaesthetic to me. Also, what is this over 30 shit? 30 is NOT OLD. 40 is NOT OLD. 50 might, MIGHT be approaching old.

  173. Cere June 6, 2016 at 8:37 pm #

    Dr. Martens. Martens. Not Martin. Come on.

    • phoebz4 June 6, 2016 at 8:43 pm #

      wow, I can’t believe that happened. And that you’re the first to catch it, lol! You get extra gold stars!

  174. Ashley P. June 7, 2016 at 12:07 am #

    As a twenty something, let me just say – You rock!

  175. kim aka Hollywood June 7, 2016 at 2:40 pm #

    I live this.
    I am 55, and I rock whatever the fuck I want. My wife is 33 and she digs my look and my individuality. I wear Chucks, Docs, hoops, and I have an inner gypsy free spirit wild heart that will not be tamed or told what to wear or do!!
    Love your blog’s!!


  176. Renata Godfrey June 9, 2016 at 12:13 am #

    Over 50 and I say “Amen!”

  177. gkgirl June 10, 2016 at 8:35 am #

    YES! yes! YES!

  178. Shanny Khoo June 16, 2016 at 3:53 am #

    Thank you for this! I’ll be 40 in 2 yrs time and I am really happy being my age while looking forward to the next one. I’ve grown up with body issues as a teenager. Even my own mother criticised my sister and I about what we wear now. I really wished she stops saying that, and also how we are fat everytime we see each other. And she wonders why we don’t go see her often enough… :p FYI we can fit into Euro size 38 or US size 10/12. I really wished that all women stop comparing one another, bringing others down. Let’s encourage each other to be better and appreciate each person for how they are.

  179. Lady Nocturnal July 22, 2016 at 8:09 am #

    Thanks a many for putting these “Diaper butts” back in their cribs” with this article.

  180. Mood Swings and Makeup July 31, 2016 at 5:51 pm #

    This! Thank you for this!

  181. LA Pier October 23, 2016 at 11:59 am #

    It was really hard to miss the massive amount of F-bombs used in this article. Fucking loved it!

    • Phoebe October 23, 2016 at 12:49 pm #

      Sometimes you just need to use a copious amount of fucks. 🙂

  182. Marilyn October 31, 2016 at 8:47 am #

    Ya know. I generally stop reading articles with this type of language, but it was sooooo appropriate here!, LOL. I’m 65 and wouldn’t wear Converses, or leggings but I’ve seen women my age that looked spectacular doing so. I know women older than me wearing cowboy boots and blue streaks in their hair that looked fantastic. To each his own!

  183. Alicia Hinkle December 16, 2016 at 9:30 am #

    I actually wrote my own blog post like this a few months ago. It’s not about how old you are it’s about WHO YOU ARE!

  184. Riselle January 11, 2017 at 2:53 pm #

    Yessssss!I found myself excitedly agreeing with you point for point. Just finished writing my own blog post about being in your 40’s and not caring what society and others expect of you. Fuck that ish.

  185. lisavollrath April 14, 2017 at 5:20 pm #

    I am 56. I have pink hair. Nobody EVER noticed my hair before I went pink. Now, it’s rare that I go out, and don’t get a positive comment about it. And no, I don’t wear big hoop earrings. Not because I’m over 30, but because I have a short neck, and they look weird on me—and they looked equally weird on me when I was under 30. Personal style choices shouldn’t be based on age, but on what makes us happy. Fuck what anyone else thinks!

  186. Sandhi Schimmel Gold May 28, 2017 at 9:30 pm #

    I’m over 60 and I only cared about “fashion” in my 20’s.
    In my 30’s I dressed for work, and even then, borderline appropriate.
    In my 40’s my I took to long skirts, crazy-ass jewelry, wonky haircuts, flat shoes, tights.
    I wasn’t going to shave my legs for a boss.
    I wasn’t going to please anyone, even if I tried.
    I don’t need to look like something [or NOT like something] to please anyone. I don’t need to fit any female stereotype.
    As much as I love fashion, from a distance, I know it’s fleeting.
    I only care about whatever made me happy. Just so you know, once YOU get older, and older, and older… you do what you feel like doing, comfort is important and not giving a rat’s patootie what other people think.
    So, if 20 somethings don’t like what color my hair is [chrome] or if I’m wearing worn-out converse sneakers, or my clothes or jewelry… I don’t care.

  187. Veronica Douglas June 11, 2017 at 11:04 am #

    These lists of things we can’t do at certain ages are the worst. FU maybe you pressured me into getting a ridiculous perm when I was 16 or maybe I over plucked my eyebrows at 20 because it was cool but now I do what I want.

  188. Doreen June 16, 2017 at 11:43 am #

    First tattoo at 64…beautiful meaningful designed especially for my by my tattoo artist youngest son. Currently 4 pairs of Docs including the tattoo ones and flowery. I wear sparkly Indigo Moon jackets, tattoo Docs, colourful skirts I make myself go to rock gigs, listen to new great music too. It took years to regain the confidence after my first marriage but nearly 38 year of marriage to my guy who is my rock has got me there. Twice recently I had compliments from 2 youngsters. One was a handsome young guy who came up to me and said ‘you look amazing, keep rocking the Docs!’ The second was a lovely young girl who tapped me on the shoulder and quietly whispered in my ear: ” Hope you don’t mind my saying – I absolutely love your outfit..keep wearing such great clothes’! My lovely daughter in law bought me a bangle engraved with ‘why try to fit in when you are born to stand out” after I had a wee blip crisis of confidence after walking into a cafe and a group of women my age looked at me nudged each other, and whispered and giggled. It doesn’t matter if you want to wear flamboyant clothes or jeans and a tshirt. The main thing is be yourself and don’t let anyone drag you down..the damage others can do over years with criticism and belittling remarks can be horrendous. Keep smiling.

  189. Karen Heath June 16, 2017 at 1:41 pm #

    Hah! I’m 59 next week and if I took heed to every list of things I shouldn’t do and wear I would be huddled naked in a corner. Perhaps if mature women were hired for jobs instead of 20 year olds, they would have more interesting and insightful things to write about. I fall for shit like this list all the time, thinking that this will be the list that has some value. Shame on me.

  190. Dee August 25, 2017 at 8:24 am #

    Really enjoyed reading this post. I’m nearly 47 and have just bought my 1st pair of docs after years of thinking ‘I’m way too old for those’!! I have several tattoos (acquired in my 20’s) and my nose pierced but have nearly always been the ‘shy and retiring type’ but then I got to 45 and decided – life is too short, I’m going to enjoy wearing what I want regardless of my age – Afterall, I spent most of my ‘younger’ years in baggy t shirts n tracksuit bottoms because I just didn’t have the confidence for anything else!! I have 2 grown up daughters and I always ask them if I look Ok and their response is to ‘wear what gives you confidence’. So, I have no intention of putting my skinny ripped jeans away or binning my favourite leather biker jacket – age is just a number after all. I’m often asked (by those under 30) where I’ve bought something I’m wearing, which makes me smile. Just because you’re middle aged doesn’t mean you have to resort to slacks and twinsets!! Glad to see I’m not alone in this

  191. Kelli Brock September 3, 2017 at 11:04 am #

    I am 47. I have blue green hair. It’s a little darker than teal. I have nine tattoos and I’m not done yet. I love what you said here and agree with every bit of it. I have been saying this to all the women around me. I went to get my hair dye one day and a woman who was 56 told me she wanted to die her hair my color but she was too old. And I said who says that. Who gets to decide that. We get to determine how we are. My hairdresser is also in her 40s and we both have punk hair lol with under cuts and designs etc. No one has ever told me how to style myself for my entire life and they are certainly not going to start because of some magic threshold created by Who the fuck ever. Thank you so much for this. It’s wonderful to know how many of us there are and how many of us there can be.


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