I’m over 40 and I have long hair

31 Aug


I’m over 40, am chubby, am not a celebrity, and have long hair.

I’m such a rebel. Or sadly trying to relive my youth. Or, you know, just wearing my hair the way I want to.

Yeah, that’s right. I’m just wearing my hair the way I want to. The way I like it. The way that makes me feel like *me*.

I’ve never had trendy hair. In high school, while everyone else was perming, teasing, ratting, and curling their hair before choking on Aqua Net to keep their six inch high bangs up, I had straight hair. Long straight hair. Okay, in eight grade, I got a pixie cut, but then grew it out because I wasn’t wild about it. Then, I tried perming but my hair was like “Nope.” and would reject perms. I decided not to fight my hair. Occasionally, I’d do something dumb like cut my own bangs too short, and then would have to get creative with the tiny barrel curling iron. Otherwise, most days, I wore my hair down.

Then grunge years came around and oh look, my hair was fashionable.

Then I got married and had kids and lived in pony tails for a while.

Then…then straight hair came into fashion, which is about the time my hair decided to start curling. Go figure, I can make my hair do 1988 really damn well now.

But yeah, as a teen, I decided the only way I’d have peace with my hair was to let it do its thing and not fight it too much. My hair was never going to be silky smooth, it would always be a bit messy and fly away. I’ve never been that high maintenance with my hair, so I stress at salons that I am a wash & go type. Since my hair started to curl (which has always been my dream hair) I have to stress that I don’t own a flat iron or a round brush and seriously, I just want to wear it curly, no, please, don’t blow it out, I just want to wear it curly.

So today, I have a hair appointment at a new-to-me salon. Because part of having curly hair is finding a stylist who is good with curly hair. And part of it is that I know I’m going in there appearing a bit soccer mommish, and trying to explain that I don’t want a soccer mommish hair-do. Partially because that style is not wash and go for me. I also have been growing out my hair – after going shorter (which for me was skimming my shoulders) I realized that while the hair looked good, it didn’t feel like me. So I’ve been letting it grow.

I like to go in with a couple photo ideas, so there’s a visual for the stylist. I hopped over to Pinterest and starting searching. And searching. I tried “long wavy hair” and got dozens of photos of young women. I tried “hair for women over 40” and got dozens of photos straight, layered bobs – some short, some brushing the shoulders – plus a couple photos of Jennifer Aniston. I tried looking my hair up by curl type – and got pictures of Lorde (who’s gorgeous but has way more oodles of hair than I do. And a stylist. And youth on her side.)

I searched for an hour for photos of hair examples for what would work for me…and found almost nothing. I started to think “Maybe I should start a blog for fashion over 40” and then remembered, I’m so not fashionable, or trendy. I just do what I like.

So now, I’m just praying that the stylist is a genius with hair like mine and I leave happy. With my long hair.

But in my searching for hair ideas, I found this, and it’s now my new mantra!

found on Pinterest, photo credit hopefully to Whisper

found on Pinterest, photo credit hopefully to Whisper


Post script – if you’re a short haired woman and love your hair, that’s awesome. I have nothing against pixies, stacked bobs, blow-outs, or the like. They’re just not me. They may be you, and that is what matters. Rock the hair you like, everything else be damned. 


6 Responses to “I’m over 40 and I have long hair”

  1. headwindjournal August 31, 2016 at 1:21 pm #

    Good luck with your new stylist and sticking with your preferences, your own look! I am WAY older than you and still wear my hair long and straight, don’t like short hair on myself. I recently cut off about three inches and had the sides layered and like the cut. I have been a life-long redhead and am now finally letting the white grow out. This will take a couple of years! At least three of my more conservative friends have “suggested” I go shorter. My creative/writer/artist friends all say they love long white hair! Cheers.

  2. franhunne4u August 31, 2016 at 1:22 pm #

    I am nearly 50 and defy the “women in their menopause have to wear a bob/pixi”-front – may the others wear the hair the way they want to, I will do the same.

  3. Renee Anne August 31, 2016 at 5:47 pm #

    Because my youngest is still young (2 years old), I tend to have my long hair either up in a ponytail or a bun. Also, I hate being warm so hair sticking to me isn’t comfortable. And on top of that, I hate having hair in my face. Oh, and my flyaways. So, while I have longish hair, no one really knows because it’s always pulled up. I want to have the option to do something but, generally, don’t. And short hair doesn’t look good on me (thanks, round face!). So, there’s that.

  4. Sparrowgrass September 1, 2016 at 11:02 am #

    I couldn’t have been any older than 27 when a colleague asked if I didn’t think I was getting too old for long hair. My look of utter confusion probably said it all. But he was bald very young, so perhaps he was just jealous.

  5. jamilouise September 5, 2016 at 8:07 am #

    I just went through this Sunday. What trip! Great post!

  6. Nance September 14, 2016 at 10:39 am #

    Yay you!!! I am 55, love my longer hair that does what it wants when it wants, have allowed it to go gray/natural and am finally embracing the look because it’s MY look. And I don’t look good in short hair either. There’s enough curl and body that sometimes it’s super curly, sometimes it’s wavy. You never know what my hair will look like on any given day and I love the freedom I finally gave myself. Brava to you! Be true to yourself!

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