I’m over 40 and I have long hair


I’m over 40, am chubby, am not a celebrity, and have long hair.

I’m such a rebel. Or sadly trying to relive my youth. Or, you know, just wearing my hair the way I want to.

Yeah, that’s right. I’m just wearing my hair the way I want to. The way I like it. The way that makes me feel like *me*.

I’ve never had trendy hair. In high school, while everyone else was perming, teasing, ratting, and curling their hair before choking on Aqua Net to keep their six inch high bangs up, I had straight hair. Long straight hair. Okay, in eight grade, I got a pixie cut, but then grew it out because I wasn’t wild about it. Then, I tried perming but my hair was like “Nope.” and would reject perms. I decided not to fight my hair. Occasionally, I’d do something dumb like cut my own bangs too short, and then would have to get creative with the tiny barrel curling iron. Otherwise, most days, I wore my hair down.

Then grunge years came around and oh look, my hair was fashionable.

Then I got married and had kids and lived in pony tails for a while.

Then…then straight hair came into fashion, which is about the time my hair decided to start curling. Go figure, I can make my hair do 1988 really damn well now.

But yeah, as a teen, I decided the only way I’d have peace with my hair was to let it do its thing and not fight it too much. My hair was never going to be silky smooth, it would always be a bit messy and fly away. I’ve never been that high maintenance with my hair, so I stress at salons that I am a wash & go type. Since my hair started to curl (which has always been my dream hair) I have to stress that I don’t own a flat iron or a round brush and seriously, I just want to wear it curly, no, please, don’t blow it out, I just want to wear it curly.

So today, I have a hair appointment at a new-to-me salon. Because part of having curly hair is finding a stylist who is good with curly hair. And part of it is that I know I’m going in there appearing a bit soccer mommish, and trying to explain that I don’t want a soccer mommish hair-do. Partially because that style is not wash and go for me. I also have been growing out my hair – after going shorter (which for me was skimming my shoulders) I realized that while the hair looked good, it didn’t feel like me. So I’ve been letting it grow.

I like to go in with a couple photo ideas, so there’s a visual for the stylist. I hopped over to Pinterest and starting searching. And searching. I tried “long wavy hair” and got dozens of photos of young women. I tried “hair for women over 40” and got dozens of photos straight, layered bobs – some short, some brushing the shoulders – plus a couple photos of Jennifer Aniston. I tried looking my hair up by curl type – and got pictures of Lorde (who’s gorgeous but has way more oodles of hair than I do. And a stylist. And youth on her side.)

I searched for an hour for photos of hair examples for what would work for me…and found almost nothing. I started to think “Maybe I should start a blog for fashion over 40” and then remembered, I’m so not fashionable, or trendy. I just do what I like.

So now, I’m just praying that the stylist is a genius with hair like mine and I leave happy. With my long hair.

But in my searching for hair ideas, I found this, and it’s now my new mantra!

found on Pinterest, photo credit hopefully to Whisper
found on Pinterest, photo credit hopefully to Whisper


Post script – if you’re a short haired woman and love your hair, that’s awesome. I have nothing against pixies, stacked bobs, blow-outs, or the like. They’re just not me. They may be you, and that is what matters. Rock the hair you like, everything else be damned.