Hush hush 

13 Nov


Wednesday morning, we all woke up in a strange new world. Some people celebrated. Some people shrugged and carried on. Some people said “oh well, maybe it won’t be that bad.” Some cried. Some wondered what would happen next. Some were angry.

After a few hours of all this happening on Facebook, there came a new voice – the hushers. The ones saying “my, some people need to take a break from Facebook and calm down.” There were straight white males telling others they were over reacting. By Day Two the “people need to move on” crowd showed up with a side of “this isn’t helping any”.  Day Three ushered in The Great Safety Pin Controversy around the Internet and I found myself become depressed.

Everything I was doing was wrong. Everything I was saying was wrong.

Hush. Calm down. Be quiet. Be pleasant. Go sit in the corner. Shush.

I found myself wondering why I even bothered to try. Everything I was doing was being criticised. Everything I said was wrong. At the end of the day, I’m just a white woman in the suburbs. I am not marginalized. No one’s yelling slurs at me, or telling me to go home, or drawing swastikas on my car. And for as many times as I tried voice my opinion on politics, I’m pretty sure I didn’t change a damn mind on my Facebook feed or in my family.

Why bother? What am I playing at, trying to be all of this? Maybe it was time to hush, become silent, stand back, put on some Ugg boots, leggings, and a North Face vest and embrace the Basic White Woman status.

But here’s the thing…

I hate Uggs, I think they’re fugly.

I don’t look good in yoga pants.

North Face doesn’t make anything to fit over my bosom.

And I’ve never been basic. Scrappy, weird, introverted, stand-outish, loud, babbling, but never basic. And never quiet.

So everyone’s just going to have to put up with me. I can’t promise everything I do or say will be perfect, actually, I can promise I won’t be perfect. I’ll probably annoy some of you. I plan on writing still about the rights of those with disabilities, because they have a lot to lose with this new presidency. I will keep sharing information. I will keep teaching my children to be better people, kinder people. I will use my voice to combat ableism, racism, and hatred. I will probably stumble over words a few times or more. I won’t be perfect. I’m still trying to find my place in all of this, get back up on my feet after the rug’s been pulled out from under them.

But I’ll be doing something.

Because if you silence me, you also silence my daughter with disabilities. And I can’t have that. My other children are old enough to stand up and fight, and I will stand with them, support them in their endeavors. But my youngest with disabilities isn’t able to. So I stand up for her, for people like her, for kids like her. I use my voice where she can’t. And I won’t let that be silenced.

No, I will not be hushed.



7 Responses to “Hush hush ”

  1. franhunne4u November 13, 2016 at 12:44 pm #

    Who ever said after the Brexit-referendum, and I read it a lot after that: “Accept democracy and stop whining” – has not the least idea about democracy!

    You HAVE to have more than one opinion – democracy is about finding solutions for problems when opinions clash. That is why this “first past the post”-thingie or “the winner takes it all” is hard to accept. In a democracy minority interests are looked at, too!

  2. headwindjournal November 13, 2016 at 2:24 pm #

    Keep speaking up and writing! The world needs your voice. Thank you.

  3. nanis November 13, 2016 at 2:42 pm #

    Don’t shut up!! Never stop expressing your opinion! You are important, and what you shave to say is important.

  4. Renee Anne November 13, 2016 at 7:09 pm #

    Every time some straight, white, Christian male tells me I’m overreacting or that I need to calm down, I tell them their white privilege is showing and they need to GTFO and STFU. As a woman, you are marginalized. That may be the worst of it for you but you are as aware as I am that there are others that are much more marginalized and we shouldn’t be silent about it.

  5. GreatLakesWoman November 16, 2016 at 9:36 am #

    ((Hugs))… Thank goodness you won’t be silenced. 🙂

  6. jahbon November 17, 2016 at 8:40 am #

    Phoebe, I am glad you a writing this. I mean, I am not glad it has happened, but it is good to hear the voices of those who disagree, of those who strongly disagree. And who are thinking of others, who are more affected. My feeling when I heard the election results was “America – hang your head in shame.” [But on my facebook status I just put “As the rest of the world looks on in disbelief”. It is not my country, I should probably not judge, but it is difficult not to.] And Phoebe you are on the ‘marginalised list’; it remains to been seen what will happen under his administration, but in Trump’s personal world, women are marginalised. Everything we have heard this man say about women makes it clear that as far as he is concerned the only point in women’s existence is for men’s entertainment. When the secret recordings were revealed – I was more shocked by the reaction than the recordings; not because the reactions were unjustified, but because this was not ‘news’, everything he had already said and done made it clear how he felt about women. This result is unfathomable.

  7. jahbon November 17, 2016 at 9:14 am #

    Here, some of those who see, more or less, what Trump is, are never-the-less saying that he is all bluster, and he won’t really have that much power *, that he is already ‘backing off’. But that is over looking the fact of what his campaign has already done. By being elected it has given license to all of those who believe his bluster, and may be more than just ‘bluster’ themselves. And I think that as well as all the people you have already mentioned, it is also scary in relation to attitudes towards women. All those attitudes are already out there, but for someone who has voiced them, to be elected President – ???

    *and that those who will be most disappointed will be those who believed what he promised. And they may well be the most disappointed, but they may not be the most hurt.

    We can only hope this all settles down somehow.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: