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Tag Archives: family life

Life with Maura, episode #827

10 Nov

Maura is not the neatest of teens.

Somewhere, my sister is going “Well THAT’S an understatement.”

My sister has spent time with Maura obviously.

But it’s true. Maura and neatness do not go hand in hand. Maura has always been a messy kid, and now she’s a messy teen. We spend too much time wading into her room to shovel it out and tame it back into submission and a semblance of organization that will last two days tops. She can destroy a room in five minutes, leaving it strewn with My Little Ponies and costume bits.

Luckily, we are not Type A people. We don’t freak out at the wake of destruction she leaves. We just sigh and carry on.

Sometimes, I don’t discourage it.

Case in point – a package came to the house, and the contents were packed in lovely pink packing peanuts. Boxes like these are pure joy for Maura, and free sensory play. The box came over two weeks ago and amazingly, it wasn’t until yesterday that it kersploded everywhere.

 

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[image description – a lovely mutli-shades of blue area rug coated in pink packing peanuts, a box of pink peanuts sitting next to it]

I’m guessing it tipped over while Maura’s doll was swimming through the peanuts. Maura looked at the mess and pointed to it. I could hear the implied “Can you clean it up?” I pulled the age-old “You clean it up.” And she did. Mostly. But enough that I could vacuum up the rest, so that was a win.

Maura has also rediscovered apples. She’ll go through phases with some foods, and apples are one of them. Or maybe, I’m the one who goes through the phase where I forget how she handles apples and buy bunches only to end up with a lot of this happening…

 

 

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[image description – an aqua blue Fiesta plate with three apples, one partially eaten, one with one bite taken out of it, one with two bites taken out of it]

Apples are great. Apples taste good. Apples smell good…until they rot under your couch, or behind the piano, or where ever Maura left the partially eaten apple. Those apples in the picture? Weren’t found like that on a plate. The plate (hers) was left on the coffee table. One apple – the mostly eaten one – was found on the couch. The other two were in her Halloween pumpkin, along with two uneaten apples.

I put the uneaten apples back in the fridge. So if Maura wants one, she can have it. Which means I may be finding a half-eaten apple in my shoe tomorrow.

Should I deny her apples, or free sensory play, because it makes a mess?

Nope.

Should I train my dog to find half-eaten apples and throw them away for me?

Probably.

 

 

 

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Teenagers, ammirite?

9 May

So…I have that heard of teens and that one who dared to turn 21 this year. Which, in retrospect, is great, because I can send the 21 yr old on a wine run for me.

Never leaving the house for the win!

I love my teens. But I’m no fool. I know not to trust them with anything. I mean, if my grown siblings and I still can’t be trusted together, why should I trust my teens?

Case in point –

Sean (the second eldest, the spare to the heir) was blowing bubbles in the house the other night. Mainly to get the Zoey dog in a lather. Because Zoey is an idiot for bubbles and leaps about biting them all.

Collin (the heir to our kingdom) thought this was hilarious. And then thought “Why not drive the dog crazy by holding her?”

The dog was like “No sir! You will not keep me from killing every bubble!” and leapt from Collin’s arms to do so.

 

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Zoey chasing bubbles outside. See that crazy look on her face? Yeah.

 

I find out about all this as I walk in the next day with groceries. Because they’re blowing bubbles for the dog to attack. In the living room.

Then Collin produces a balloon. “I can’t believe we still have one left.”

See, Sean decided to cover someone’s bed in balloons on April 1st. Then the balloons were scattered over the living room. I don’t know who enjoyed it more – Maura or Zoey. Between the two of them, they eventually died.

Except one.

Which Zoey was now chasing between snapping at bubbles.

I, of course, ignore all this. Because this is what passes as normal in our house. As I walk away, I hear someone say the words “water balloon”.

“NOT IN THE HOUSE!” I yell back.

And the boys died laughing because they didn’t expect me to hear it.

Fools. My brother and I – as teenagers – had an epic water fight which ended in a truce (he with the hose at the gate, me with a super soaker pointed into the window of his brand new pick up truck) and then having to mop the kitchen floor (it wasn’t me who was using the sprayer from the sink.)

I’m a gypsy raised by wolves, who produced her own carnival. We invented shenanigans, dear offspring of mine. I know all, see all.

And remember, Mother’s Day is coming. Buy me something hard to break.

 

Apparently Maura had shopping plans

8 Feb

I get interesting emails from Maura’s teacher. Things like “She’s bringing home food, check the backpack!”and “So Maura brought in a white cell phone that obviously doesn’t belong to her” and “Hey, so Maura brought in some sort of wine glass and a curtain? Just so you’re aware, it’s in her backpack, wrapped up safely.”

Oh yes, I’m always eager to open up an email from Maura’s teacher because the possibilities are endless.

BTW, the cell phone was her brother’s, and it wasn’t a curtain but the fancy tablecloth – because Maura’s always prepped for a fancy dinner.

Today, an email pops up from Maura’s teacher.

Hi Phoebe, 

Maura brought a Dooney and Bourke bag with about $120 in cash in it to school today.  I hid the bag in my filing cabinet.  Do you have time to pick it up sometime today?  

Well, don’t we look all fancy pants?

This is the purse in question –

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A couple of weeks ago, our local Goodwill moved into a new location, and to celebrate, pulled out all this high end stuff. My friend spotted this bag and was all “OMG Phoebe, you must own this purse!” And so it came home with me. Maura spotted it and instantly went “Ooooo….”

Last night, she ventured into my room, and came out with the bag. I was all “You can’t steal my purses!” and her response was a non-verbal “You can’t stop me!”

Now, I’m not big on different types of purses, but I realized after doing a Google search why the teachers were all “OMG, she has THIS purse here” – because it’s like a $200 purse.

What can I say, Maura has good taste.

I went up to the school to retrieve the items. Maura’s teacher retrieved the purse, which Maura instantly latched on to.

I looked at her. “Maura, you know you’re not supposed to take Mom’s purses.”

Maura just ignored me.

“I’ll make you a deal.” I said to her. “You can keep the bag for the rest of the school day, but you have to give me the money.”

Maura sighed loudly in true teenager fashion and said “Fine.” before reaching in and giving me a wad of $20s.

She probably had a shopping trip planned for that money. Meanwhile, I need to figure out who’s missing cash in the house.

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